Long-distance relationships rarely succeed, leaving many couples—married or not—grappling with the decision to relocate across the country to keep their relationship intact. The answer isn’t straightforward and depends on several factors, starting with your personality.
Before you pack your bags, crate the dog, and head to the other side of the country, take a moment to reflect on yourself. Are you someone who relies heavily on local family and friends for support? Many people draw their social interaction, emotional support, and friendship from nearby loved ones. This isn’t a flaw, but moving far away could be challenging. Consider how you’ll cope without the comfort and convenience of your support network. While tearful goodbyes may come with promises to stay in touch, visit often, and talk daily, the reality is that maintaining these connections becomes harder over time.
Practical Considerations for Relocation
Another critical factor is your financial and professional situation. If you have a fulfilling, stable job that doesn’t offer relocation or remote work options, are you willing to give it up? If you move to a new town or city with limited career opportunities, will you feel resentful? More importantly, if the relationship falters six months after the move, will you have a safety net to return to? Will your partner support you in rebuilding, given that you made the move for the relationship? For married couples, it’s worth noting that in some cases, a spouse who resigns due to a partner’s relocation may be eligible for government unemployment benefits. However, this requires careful planning and specific steps, so ensure you research and follow the necessary procedures before quitting your job.
These are conversations to have before deciding to relocate. Moving—whether for a job, a dream, or to be closer to your partner’s family—is a significant step that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Helpful resources, like relocation quizzes, can provide clarity and highlight overlooked considerations.
If you have children, their well-being is another crucial consideration. A move that suits you and your partner may not be ideal for them. Research schools in the new area, and examine its demographics, social environment, and economic conditions to determine if it’s a good place to raise kids. A short visit with your children can help everyone get a feel for the new location. If your kids are involved in sports or other activities, ensure similar programs are available to maintain continuity in their lives. While children often adapt quickly, their needs must be prioritized.
The move itself can be physically and emotionally taxing. Plan carefully and understand the costs involved. A great resource for preparing is www.move.com, where you can take virtual real estate tours and explore your new area from a homeowner’s perspective. Additionally, tools like Homefair allow you to compare the cost of living between your current and future locations, which is essential when negotiating salaries or moving expenses for a job-related relocation.
Beyond practical concerns, this is an opportunity to evaluate your relationship. Could it withstand a long-distance period? If you’re not married, are you ready to move in together? Is the move permanent, or will your partner need to relocate frequently, as is common in military families? Not everyone is suited for a transient lifestyle, so consider whether this aligns with your long-term goals. Finally, ask yourself: does your partner truly want you to make this move?
Relocating is never easy. For it to succeed, the decision to follow your partner should be mutual. Consider testing the waters with a long-distance relationship before committing to a move. If that’s not an option, plan thoroughly, research diligently, and weigh all factors. A fulfilling life often involves taking risks and embracing spontaneity, but every step forward—whether it leads to joy or challenges—is part of your unique journey. Relocating to follow your partner could end up being one of the best decisions you ever make.
