What’s for dinner? Planning meals with children in the house isn’t as simple as making a shopping list and clipping coupons. In fact, it can be very difficult to strike a balance between providing meal variety, proper nutrition, and foods your kids will actually eat. The challenge changes day by day—like the tides—leaving parents unsure of what to expect. Why a child will happily eat mac and cheese for three months straight, then suddenly protest at the sight of it, is anyone’s guess.
Getting children to eat their meals doesn’t have to be a constant struggle. Perhaps the key lies more in the parent’s mindset than in the child’s behavior. When all is said and done, children—much like dogs—will eat when they get hungry enough.
First, recognize your role in this dynamic. How often do you give in and make them something different? Do you force them to clean their plate, bargain with dessert, or make a big deal about “just two more bites”? Parents often turn molehills into mountains, and children quickly learn that a parent’s desire for them to eat is so strong, it can be used to their advantage. This is where the battle of wills begins. If parents relaxed a bit, accepted that toddlers eat when they’re hungry, and acknowledged that kids often know what they need, mealtime would become much less stressful.
While eggs and bacon may be a breakfast staple for you, if your child prefers a corndog, it’s not the end of the world. The point of offering food is to present wholesome options that generally align with the food pyramid and provide variety. Empowering kids with choices and praising them for healthy decisions works well with their developing minds. Instead of asking what they want, give them two solid options: spaghetti with salad, or chicken with rice. Start early and stay firm—what’s for dinner is what’s on the table. Exceptions shouldn’t become the norm.
Of course, you shouldn’t expect them to crave liver and onions, but if your meals are balanced and reasonable, kids will learn to enjoy them. Offer low-fat sauces and dips, and you may be surprised at how fast the vegetables disappear. Break a few mealtime conventions—serve fruit with dinner or enjoy pancakes and eggs at night. Buy whole grain, low-fat, low-sugar foods that still offer the vitamins, minerals, and proteins they need. Avoid salting their food so they don’t develop a taste for it, and gradually transition from whole milk to 1% after their first year. Children’s palates are shaped by what they’re regularly offered, and building consistent habits is key.
Rethinking Mealtime: Consistency, Patience, and a Healthy Perspective
Naturally, a kid would rather eat chocolate than green beans. So would most adults! But when it comes to regular meals and snacks, chocolate shouldn’t be an option. Keep portions sensible—serve one cookie, a small bowl of chips, and limit how much they drink during meals, as beverages can fill them up quickly. Sometimes, kids just aren’t hungry—and that’s okay. Don’t force food. Wrap up their plate and store it in the fridge until they’re ready. This approach honors the natural hunger cues we’re all born with—cues that many adults have lost touch with. In fact, childhood eating struggles can contribute to long-term issues like overeating and obesity.
Children’s bodies are constantly changing, and their nutritional needs shift with growth phases. Fortunately, kids are often intuitively aware of what their bodies require—whether it’s four apples a day or a sudden rejection of a long-time favorite. Trust that inner instinct. There’s a reason behind the food patterns, even if it doesn’t make immediate sense to parents.
Getting children to eat their meals isn’t a science. It’s about staying calm and keeping things simple. Your child won’t starve, and they will eat. Developing a taste for vegetables and other non-sweet foods starts from the moment solids are introduced. It’s why you don’t start with sweet applesauce before introducing green beans—because once they’ve tasted sweet, the bland stuff won’t stand a chance.
Rather than demand they eat everything on their plate, make mealtime engaging. Try playing a game where they sample each item and describe it. Reinforce the idea that breakfast, lunch, and dinner are fixed parts of the day—and enjoying what’s served is their best option. Once you begin preparing separate meals to appease their pickiness, it’s a slippery slope that’s hard to reverse.
The reality is this: if your children are maintaining healthy weights and seem well, they’re probably getting the nutrition they need. If parents keep healthy food in the house and promote a positive attitude toward eating, children will learn to follow suit. Some meals will go smoothly, others won’t—but food should never become a source of punishment or power struggle. Children’s picky phases are fleeting, and most of them are not at any real health risk.
Whether you offer a few choices or cook separate meals each day is up to you—but be aware that once a habit forms, it’s difficult to undo. The less energy you put into the “getting kids to eat” dilemma, the less of a problem it will be.
