There comes a time in every child’s life when they should be given the opportunity to earn an allowance. An allowance is a rite of passage into tween and teen years, helping children learn the responsibilities associated with money, while also gaining an appreciation for how much things cost and all they are given in life. Giving children an allowance should come with strings attached and consequences, or else children risk becoming self-absorbed, ungrateful, and spoiled.
While many people believe an allowance is warranted when children do chores like making their bed, putting away laundry, or vacuuming, it’s important to consider the message being sent. By paying children for these tasks, they are taught that they will get paid to do things that are simply part of being self-sufficient. Children should do certain chores—like those—without expecting an allowance, simply because they are expected to be valuable members of the household and contribute in ways they can. Similarly, paying them for doing well in school only compensates them for something that is their responsibility. It would be like paying them to use the bathroom or take a shower. Allowance should be given for tasks that go above and beyond the normal, daily routine. This encourages children to pitch in and help their parents, while raising their awareness of how much work goes into living.
For example, if your daughter decides to cut the grass on a whim, even though it’s not her job, this should factor into her allowance. This rewards her for her willingness and earnest effort beyond the call of duty. Some tasks, however, should be considered daily chores and not necessarily carry extra monetary value. The best way to handle allowances is to let children know the maximum amount they can expect each week. If that amount is $10—which is more than reasonable for children under 16—then when payday comes, parents should discuss what was accomplished, what could have been better, and reduce the amount accordingly. If little Susie didn’t do her homework every night as agreed upon, or forgot to clear the table after dinner, then a few dollars should be taken away. This is similar to what would happen if mom or dad decided to skip work for a few days; they wouldn’t earn the same paycheck as if they showed up every day.
Why Give Children an Allowance?
Giving children an allowance also helps teach them about responsibility with money. There is always one kid in every home who will willingly spend every last dime on the dumbest toy at the dollar store just for the sake of spending it. When they run out of money and want something non-essential, they should be told they need to save for it. Eventually, they’ll realize that by saving their money, they can purchase what they want or continue saving for that new mini-laptop they’ve been coveting. If parents constantly hand over everything to children, using money as a way to make friends or show love, they are doing their kids a disservice in terms of responsibility. Some kids may learn this lesson in a few weeks, others in years, and some may never learn it. But their “money personality” can have a significant impact on their future success.
Another reason kids should be given an allowance is because it shows them that they are respected and appreciated. It also gives them some control over their own life. Monetary autonomy is a gift, and even as adults, many people find themselves in situations where they need to ask permission or explain every purchase. By linking money and control, you are setting your child up to avoid unhealthy attachments to money, which could affect their relationships in the future. By giving children an allowance and allowing them to make decisions about how to spend it—even if you disagree—you are proving that you trust them to handle something as important as money. For this reason, parents should always stay out of the way of how their child spends their allowance.
As far as appreciation goes, an allowance can definitely boost that. Children today are inundated with so much stuff that clutters their rooms and yards, and they have little understanding of how much these things cost or what it takes to provide them. They often aren’t given the opportunity to understand what they truly need or want and may be forced to be unappreciative. For parents of older children, this often becomes the chief complaint: that their children are ungrateful. But as a parent, you must realize that you’ve played a part in facilitating that attitude. This doesn’t mean a child should be reminded at every turn of how much something cost, but they should learn concepts like waste, needs versus wants, and excess. Giving children an allowance is something that should not be denied, and it should be done with faith in your child’s good sense, as well as with the opportunity to teach them valuable life lessons.
