It’s your birthday. Your dear Aunt Sally sent you a card with warm wishes. But instead of her usual monetary gift, she enclosed a website address and proudly announced that she had donated a goat to someone in Uganda on your behalf. Or maybe your parents, who are traveling the world during their retirement, decided to donate a fishing net to someone in Asia in your name so that an entire village could feed their family. And your high-tech, state-of-the-art office staff threw you a party, but instead of collaborating on a gift, they donated a $100 check to a charity in your name.
A popular trend is fast becoming the idea of giving money to charities in lieu of gifts. In fact, if you contact NASA, you can have a star named after your favorite person—for a small fee, of course. This star will remain forever in the astronomical archives. Sweet gesture, right? After all, many of us have so much that we don’t really need gifts or token presents. Wouldn’t anyone who has enough appreciate others who are eager to share their philanthropic spirit? Or is this going just a tad too far?
The Gift of Giving: Is It Really a Gift?
How would the kids in your family feel if, on Christmas every year, rather than giving presents, you bought bricks in their honor to be used in a local Habitat for Humanity project? Would the kids feel ripped off?
Giving is truly an essential part of humanity. In fact, the unwritten rule is that those who can help others should, in some form or another. If you are in a position to improve someone else’s life by giving, doing, or donating, then it is your duty as part of humanity to do so. However, doing it in someone else’s honor—especially if that someone doesn’t share the same philanthropic spirit—may not be the greatest gift idea.
One organization, JustGive.org, encourages people hosting everything from birthday parties to bridal showers to encourage guests to give to charities rather than give gifts. If that is what the bride and groom or parents-to-be want, then it can be a wonderful gesture. But going out on a limb and donating money or gifts in someone else’s name isn’t exactly romantic or thoughtful. In fact, it is more self-serving to the giver, indulging his or her own vision of ‘giving’ upon someone else. And in many cases, no gift at all may be a better option.
This same idea of donating to charities in lieu of gifts is becoming commonplace in corporate America. Many companies feel that investing money in a cause or charity rather than giving out gifts during the holidays is a better way to spend their money. In the corporate world, this type of giving is seemingly being accepted, as it puts the organization in a position to show its compassion and concern for the world around us. On a more personal level, however, not everyone is sold on the idea.
For instance, Fox News ran an article about a woman who asked that her friends, family, and co-workers give a donation to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Fund instead of buying her gifts for the holidays or birthdays. As a breast cancer survivor, this cause was close to her heart, and she felt confident that she already had all she really needed. Most people did so willingly and lovingly, especially since there was a personal connection between the woman and the cause. However, very few of us feel personally connected to the need to give a Ugandan a goat. And furthermore, so many of these charities are unregulated, that you never really know where your money is going. So while the thought is good, it could be a complete waste of time.
Some schools have asked students to collect money and supplies, such as jeans or coats, to give to homeless shelters during the year. The difference with this type of giving is that the kids are involved in the giving and therefore feel they are making a difference in the world. However, give those same kids a birthday card with a note that says, “I bought a pair of jeans for you and donated them to a homeless boy,” and it may not teach the same lesson of having a giving heart.
Perhaps a better way to allow people to use their gifts as a donation is to contact an organization such as Charity Gift. With this charity, people can donate funds on a person’s behalf, and then that person can direct and choose how the money is disbursed. This way, the recipient plays a part in choosing the charities that they feel are worthwhile.
Most of us can admit that we have more than we need. When holidays, birthdays, or special occasions roll around, it can be difficult to determine what we really need versus what we really want. Certainly, there is room for all of us to donate. However, we should be able to dictate where we donate, so that the gifts and donations resonate with who we are and what is important to us.
Do you think giving money to charities in lieu of gifts is an effective way to engage in gift exchanging?
One Response
It depends. Last year my husband died from a rare disease. This year I donated to the Amyloidosis Foundation in my older teenage grandchildren’s names. They were all close with him and were involved in this dreadful journey. They all expressed genuine gratitude for my decision.