“What are you going to name your baby?” asks the friendly check-out lady at the grocery store, upon noticing you’re pregnant. “We’re going to name her after her grandmother, Rosemary Abigail, but we’ll call her Abby,” you reply. Or, perhaps you send out your son’s birth announcement, filling in the name space with John Tyler, but you’ve been calling him JT, Junior, or heck, even Andrew since the moment he was born.
In today’s world, naming a baby requires a certain level of creativity. Parents often find themselves in the situation of giving their child one name, but calling them something entirely different. Over time, this can create confusion for your child (unless, of course, they’re a criminal, in which case it might make things a little easier). But why do parents do this?
The Trend of Nicknames and Their Impact
Nicknames and alternative surnames are undeniably cute, but if you love the name Abby, why not just name your daughter Abby rather than giving her the full name of Abigail? By choosing the simpler option, you save yourself a lot of hassle with school paperwork and make conversations about your child’s name much easier. Sure, many parents come up with nicknames for their children after the child has grown a bit, but why not just start with the name you want to use? For instance, you might have intended to call your child Charles, but when everyone else started calling him Chuck, your willpower caved. But more often than not, parents today are choosing names for their children that are completely different from what they plan to actually call them.
Imagine how difficult this makes the first day of kindergarten. The teacher is calling roll, “Edison.” She calls it again. And again. (Think Ferris Bueller’s Day Off). Eventually, she assumes Edison must not be at school that day, because your child, whom you’ve always called Chase (after his middle name), has no idea who Edison is. Even he is looking around the classroom, wishing Edison would please stand up.
Naming a child is difficult. Many parents feel an obligation to give their children family names in order to carry on tradition. However, many of these same parents have no intention of actually using these names in day-to-day life. In 2012, naming children after family members has become a declining trend. If you want to incorporate a family name into your child’s birth certificate, why not make it a middle name and give your child a first name that truly works for you? After all, this is your child, and you certainly don’t owe anyone anything when it comes to naming them.
For many cultures and religions, the naming process is deeply spiritual and is believed to have a profound effect on the child’s entire life. Jennifer Moss, founder of the website BabyNames.com and author of The One in a Million Baby Name, believes that the name you choose for your child can indeed have a lasting impact. If you give a name that is commonly mispronounced, hard to spell, or so unique that it comes across as strange and obscure, the stigma can stick with your child.
Psychologists agree: when you name your child, you’re giving them their first label—the first word that defines them. It’s one of the first words they’ll learn to recognize, read, spell, and write. Sometimes, being overly creative or offering too many nicknames can create confusion about a child’s identity. At some point, you need to realize that if a name is important enough to be on a birth certificate—a document that will follow them for the rest of their life—then why not use that same name when addressing the child?
Another common trend in today’s world is to name children based solely on what you plan to call them. Instead of naming your daughter Grace and calling her Gracie, why not just name her Gracie from the start? Instead of Abigail, make her legal name Abby. Rather than Christopher, just go with Chris. This approach definitely makes the first day of school a lot easier for both the teachers and your child.
If a nickname sticks, it’s also important to allow your child to decide whether they want to be called by that name in public. Calling your son Peewee at home may be cute, but it may not be well-received when he starts school—and could even become a reason for him to be teased. The same logic applies to your child’s birth name.
When it comes to naming your child, the best advice is to think about the long-term. Arrange initials carefully to ensure they don’t inadvertently spell something that could be teased by classmates in the future. Don’t be so cutting-edge in your naming that you risk making your child feel like an anomaly. Choose names that have meaning to you and will help define who your child is and who they will grow into. Avoid tricky spellings that make pronunciation difficult for others, and be clear from the beginning about what your child will be called for the rest of their life.
3 Responses
My grandchild’s birthname is Soul Zero an anime name which has a special meaning. Though his mother is calling him Sqeaky. I feel that because she calls him by that name he whines a lot when he talks. What is your feeling about calling a child Sqeaky?
You don’t name your kid something like “Abby” because that’s a nickname. Your child will look like an idiot putting that down on their college application or a job resume. “Rosemary Abigail” however, looks fantastic on a resume.
How about you name your child whatever you want to name them and call them whatever you want to call them. When they get to school, most teachers, I am an educator, ask if they child would like to be called by nickname.