Giving your teenager an allowance is like offering them free money just for being part of the family, right? It can feel that way if they aren’t required to do anything in return and aren’t expected to use their allowance for extraneous purchases. There are all kinds of allowance systems in play, and some of them work better than others. Most of us, as kids, eagerly awaited the day we’d receive an allowance. However, many of us had to earn that allowance, face deductions for missed chores or bad grades, and learn what it means to earn money—just like in a real job. So, if you’re considering giving your teenager a weekly allowance—or if you already have one in place—now might be a good time to review the lessons being taught and learned through your own allowance system.
If you have a weekly allowance set up for your teen but are still handing out extra money for things like CDs, makeup, the tenth pair of sneakers this year, or movie nights with friends, then what’s the point of their allowance? An allowance, by definition, is money allotted to the child to spend or save as they see fit. This means that once they receive an allowance, they have already reached their maximum for the week. Offering additional money for purchases outside of necessities contradicts the purpose of the allowance. However, some parents feel their allowance system is unique, and thus the definition of an allowance may seem irrelevant to them.
When I was a child, five bucks for washing the car (an additional five for detailing the inside) was a great way to make money. I didn’t have a regular allowance for doing my chores. Chores were done because we lived there and created the mess. At one point, my mother came up with a systematic chart that spelled out what each additional chore would pay by the end of the week. For about two months, she had the cleanest house and cars on the planet whenever I needed something. As soon as I purchased it, however, my participation in additional chores disappeared until the next time I needed some cash. The system had many flaws and many good points, just like everyone’s individual allowance plan.
Teaching Money Management Through an Allowance
Many of us start giving our kids an allowance to teach them money management skills. If your child wants that amazing, must-have, can’t-live-without new CD, then they have a system in place to make sure they have the funds available. It also forces them to make choices about what’s really important to them. If the must-have CD is popular at the same time the must-have cell phone jacket is introduced, and they lack enough cash for both, they need to decide what’s more important. Of course, this can be frustrating for a kid, and a parent should be prepared for some serious negotiation skills to surface. Kids want what they want, and they usually aren’t happy waiting for their next three allowance payouts. These situations present realistic opportunities to teach them preparation for the real world.
Trading chores for an allowance is a two-sided equation. On one side, a child should help out around the house simply because they live there and contribute to the mess, mayhem, and chaos that can quickly take over a household. Yet, if we are trying to teach responsibility, concrete forms of responsibility and consequences are easier to grasp than abstract “shoulds.” Not every parent is on board with this idea, and that’s fine. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and each perspective has its positive and negative sides.
However, “employing” teenagers to take care of the basic living spaces they inhabit is debatable. Their bedroom, for instance, is their personal living space. Keeping it clean and orderly might fall under the category of “because you live in it and are the only one messing it up.” But chores beyond their original living space, such as house cleaning and yard work, could be areas where a reasonable allowance or even an additional allowance might be appropriate. Giving your teenager an allowance should be a process that everyone feels is fair, reasonable, and purposeful. All too often, kids receive allowances for doing tiny tasks, but when asked to help out around the house during a particularly stressful time, they suddenly want to renegotiate terms like seasoned professionals.
Interestingly enough, if you talk to your kids about what they think is fair, they’re likely to come up with some pretty good compromises and ideas. Most kids aren’t interested in being tied to a daily chore program. Some feel that as long as their parents are doing a good job buying clothes and meeting their basic needs, they can relax about issues like an allowance. Kids might not understand the value of a dollar, but they do understand the importance of it. It’s fascinating to watch a teenage mind at work as the two of you explore all the possible scenarios an allowance system might offer for everyone involved. Many kids over the age of 14 want actual employment, at least for the first month of a new job.
As you revisit all the possible allowance systems you could implement, it’s important that you feel your teenager is gaining more than just money from the experience. Whether your goal is teaching money management, lessons in earning and rewards, enforced higher responsibility, or a combination of all of the above, giving your teenager an allowance offers endless options, drawbacks, and life lessons that you can use to teach them fiscal responsibility.
