Going away to college can be both frightening and exciting. It can be an experience that the student is well-prepared for, or it can become a first step toward failure for the young adult. There are all types of students and all types of experiences for each.
A student who has been encouraged to take care of themselves through high school should have an easier time adjusting. If a student uses an alarm clock without needing mom or dad to pull them out of bed, they’ve already made their first successful step. The student needs to be able to feed themselves without supervision. Will they fix breakfast? Something other than cold pizza or a piece of cake? Will they eat a decent meal in the cafeteria for lunch or dinner? Or do they think lunch comes out of vending machines? Can they do their laundry? Can they change a bed? Do they understand how to handle money? Every high school graduate needs these skills, but many don’t have them.
If the student is attending college, do they have a clear idea of why they are there? Do they have a major in mind? Do they want to attend classes and achieve a good grade point average? Are they interested in making friends who share similar goals? If they want to have a good time on the weekend, do they know when to leave a party? Do they know their limits if alcohol is involved? How responsible are they?
Adjusting to College Life
If the student has to work, will they show up on time? Can they manage their time effectively to balance work, study, and socializing? Even with a strong sense of responsibility, this student is often the one most likely to experience homesickness. They are doing all the right things to care for themselves, but the people who taught them how to be an adult are far away. This student may miss their family. If they’ve changed climates or scenery, they’ll need time to adjust. When the ocean turns to mountains, the view is initially breathtaking, but eventually, they may long for the scent of the sea again. If they’ve moved from the sunny South to the cold North, the first snowfall may be beautiful, but it soon becomes cold and wet. All these challenges arise during the first semester, and it’s easy to long for home.
Another type of student has little chance of returning for a second year. This student always sleeps through their alarm clock, is frequently late, or skips class entirely. The newfound freedom is overwhelming. They can choose their own classes and aren’t honest with themselves about how early they can wake up. They think they can take classes from 7 a.m. until 11 a.m. and be free for the rest of the day. They intend to go to class but sleep through the alarm. They never go to bed early because no one is telling them to do so. They party often and for hours. Sometimes they fall asleep right on the floor at the party. It doesn’t matter that they have papers or assignments due. They never complete the readings because they plan to cram everything the night before the midterm. They don’t realize there will be multiple midterms and thousands of pages to read. They lose track of how many classes they’ve skipped and continue having fun until their parents see the grades or a note about academic probation.
Sometimes the first shock of failure causes the party animal to realize that they aren’t at home anymore. No one is making them behave, but no one is taking care of them either. They may have been using parties and alcohol to mask their homesickness. The shock of disappointing their family often prompts them to seek help from an instructor. Suddenly, they realize this isn’t high school. If they haven’t attended class or acted like a serious student, the instructor is unlikely to offer a sympathetic pat on the head. Instead, they will get the facts. The student must dig themselves out of the hole they’ve created. While instructors are often understanding and willing to help students facing real problems, they pay more attention to those who genuinely want to learn.
During the first few months, students face many adjustments to a new life. The experience is so different that most students will look back at home with longing. Some may seek support from someone they trust. If the student shares their feelings, they usually find that others are experiencing the same challenges. Going to college forces the student out of their comfort zone—a significant first risk. Naturally, there is fear and anxiety about failing. It’s a real challenge not to run back to the safety of home.
If the student is shy or lacks self-confidence, they are more likely to need support from other students, teachers, or counselors. Most college classes don’t offer frequent feedback, which can be intimidating. If a class has just a midterm and a final exam, it can be particularly nerve-wracking. A student with little confidence may imagine failing repeatedly during this time. They need reminders that they are keeping up with their work. They do attend class, even if they’re struggling to participate. They may need to speak up in class more often to avoid blending into the crowd. As the first year progresses, the changes and challenges may make home seem more appealing to the student with low self-confidence.
Most universities have counseling centers to support homesick students or those facing other difficulties. Any student can walk into the counseling center for help. There, they will find counselors or tutors who can assist them in making college a successful experience.
