Check out Facebook or Twitter updates on a daily basis and it is obvious that millions of people, adults with free will – are stuck with the heavy and isolated feeling of hating where they live. They reminisce about the old days with warmer (or colder) weather, snow (or not) on Christmas and the availability of conveniences (or not) of shopping centers and grocery stores.
Each year, millions of families uproot and leave places familiar to them to plant trees so to speak in new places. It could be because of new employment, family reasons or innumerous other reasons. It all boils down to one thing, people move. Often and rapidly. Gone are the days where extended families live in one central location only moving to a new subdivision or to the outskirts of town where houses are cheaper – remaining close to the family circle. The popular trend for the past 30 years has people going to college away from home and scoping out landscapes that are far different from the ones that they grew up in. Luckily technology makes it easier than ever to stay in touch with this transient nature and many families do not feel the disconnect that can be caused. However – there are still plenty of people who hate where they live.
The question then is why do they stay? How long should they really give a new place before deciding that a change in geography is needed? And how can you make the most of your life even though you feel vacated by a zip code?
Most of the time people stay put despite their inklings of disdain because they have to. They live where their job is, or they live where their ailing parents are. So, they stay stuck and rooted the entire time. If you have a family and hate where you live, chances are you stay for the kids. You don’t want to take them to a new school or disrupt their friendships. You might stay because you have no idea how to start again, or because staying is all you have ever known. Some people sadly, stay and complain – because they want to blame their unhappiness on something tangible that exists outside of themselves. And hating where you live is the answer. This way, you can curse the small town, groan about the traffic, bitch about the neighbors without ever realizing where your unhappiness truly comes from. You can also constantly hate the weather where you live and blame it for your bad mood – despite the fact that your ideal temperatures probably exist not too very far from where you live now. In other words, staying is the easy part. Making changes, proactive and positive ones that include moving and making your dreams come true are hard.
In many homes, couples make a choice of where to live which can leave the one-half of the whole resentful. If you live in your husband or wife’s hometown, it can be easy to feel like you don’t fit in and to see the negative side of everything. And this is something that can eventually damage the relationship.
Here’s the thing. Changing where you are doesn’t change who you are. Most of the people stuck hating where they leave or feeling like they don’t belong, won’t feel any better by changing their area. In fact, they will just feel worse and more let down by life. The problem isn’t normally outside of us, but within us. Each of you has a choice to seize the day or to allow it to seize you, no matter where you live. If you seem to find things wrong with the weather, the people, the traffic, the schools and every other aspect of life where you live – you will likely carry these animosities with you. Perhaps you just haven’t given your new place enough of a chance. This is very often the case with people who hate where they live and were forced to live there.
Before you decide that where you live is the problem, make sure that you get yourself out and about. Research your interests and try to find like-minded people in your new town who share your passions. Rather than simply see a new place, with different rituals or traditions as odd and hokey, open your mind to new opportunity. Look for people that add something to your life and try to make friends. If you have moved for employment or family – start there by trying to be a friend, to find a friend. In other words, don’t just X a place off the map because it wasn’t your first choice. When you open your mind to all aspects of a new place (or an old one) you might just be surprised what you find. Consider the law of attraction that says like attracts like. Could it be that you have been attracting all these bad experiences to you?
Another thing to consider is the old saying, Bloom where you’re planted! One of the best things about being a human being is that we aren’t confined or defined by where we live. Hating where you live and focusing on that and only that, never allows you room to bloom into who you are. Although cliché, it is good to approach life with the attitude that everything happens for a reason. What is your reason for being where you are? What is it you are supposed to learn or accomplish right here right now. If you leave too soon, you just might find that the problems follow you. A very wise man once said, “No matter where YOU go….there YOU are!” Definitely something to think about if you are one of the millions stuck hating where they live.