Funny how a child in the house can make you relive your own childhood. Remember when your parents told you that you would understand their decisions and bad moods better once you had children of your own? Well, now things have finally come full circle, and here you are, getting to relive your childhood through your children. The reality is, in many ways, having children allows you to be a kid again. For many, this can be a truly healing experience. Aspects of your childhood that may have been missing or forgotten can find their way back into your life through your own children.
The Power of Play and Traditions
For other adults, being allowed to be a kid again and creating magical moments with their children is a way to break the chain of pain. While research shows that negative traits such as abuse are often passed down from one generation to the next, the truth is the decision is yours. One of the best things about being a mom or dad is that YOU can decide which traditions to carry on and which ones to leave behind. You have the power to choose which traits from your own parents and childhood to instill in your children—and which ones to avoid. You can even create a whole new set of traditions that your children will one day pass on to their own. Life really is a beautiful thing!
According to child development experts, it is extremely important for parents to play with their children. Play, in this sense, means actively engaging in their childhood and remembering how fleeting and precious this time in your child’s life truly is. Whether you’re playing kickball in the backyard, shooting hoops in the driveway, or doing a 500-piece puzzle together, your involvement is a vital part of your child’s healthy development.
It’s equally important to remember that while you can revisit your childhood, you cannot relive your own childhood THROUGH your child. Instead, be content with being the audience and allowing your child to simply be a kid, with your nurturing support. Living vicariously through your child only burdens them with your own desires and can hinder their development. If you wanted to be a quarterback or a famous dancer and never had the chance when you were young, be careful not to impose those unfulfilled dreams on your child. Instead, gently encourage them and truly listen to the sounds of their life, rather than your own.
Finding time to have fun, be silly, and truly live like a child is one of the gifts that having a child can bring into your life. When was the last time, besides that college hazing incident, that you had so much fun dressing up as Santa Claus? How many more opportunities will you have to hide Easter eggs on a spring afternoon, your fingers still smelling like vinegar from the night before when you decorated and colored them? How many chances will you have to bake birthday cakes and wake your children up with silliness? What about the tooth fairy? The fact that children believe in these magical things, and that you can be part of that magic, is a wonderful gift. How many more backyard marshmallow barbecues will you be invited to, where you can laugh about having sticky, charred marshmallows in your hair?
Plus, when your kids see you truly playing and enjoying the same things they do, they will feel safe and secure. Not only will you be lifting your child’s heart, but you will also be lifting your own and forming a bond that is nothing short of amazing. These are the moments that childhood memories are made of, and these are the fibers that will help your children become better parents to your grandchildren one day. What better gift is there to offer your family?
There is a time for order and discipline. There is a time to be stern with your kids. There will be moments when you don’t feel like playing, but that’s precisely when you should get out the makeup box and let your child paint your face. While children will respect these moments of rules and order, it’s also important to embrace the ability to be a kid again and spend time in your child’s world—having fun and enjoying carefree, silly moments.
So, go ahead—be a kid again. Parade around in your underwear. Have a pillow fight and tell spooky stories under a homemade sheet tent, holding nothing but a flashlight. Teach your child all the things you know about having fun, being silly, and showing love while you have the chance. Heal your own heart along the way and be present in every moment with your child. As you probably know, this time in your life will not last forever.
What’s the silliest thing you’ve done with your kid? What moments do you cherish reliving with your children now that you’re a parent? Has having children helped you heal any personal wounds from your own childhood?
