Helping a Child Cope with a Friend Moving Away

One of life’s bittersweet lessons is that nothing stays the same forever. An undercurrent of change flows through our lives, often beyond our control. When this change manifests as a friend moving away, it can be an emotionally challenging experience for a child of any age. For many young children, a friend’s sudden departure is their first encounter with life’s impermanence and the realization of how little control we have over some of the things that matter most.

How you help your child cope with a friend’s move depends largely on their age. For younger children losing a best friend to relocation, experts suggest waiting until the move is near before discussing it. Children under seven often struggle with the concept of time, so informing them weeks or months in advance may cause unnecessary distress. They may dwell on the loss longer than needed. For older children, the news may come directly from the friend who is moving, which can lead to unexpected upset.

Tips to Support Your Child When a Close Friend Moves Away

Acknowledge that the loss your child feels is real. Be compassionate for as long as they need to grieve. Child experts note that children experiencing a friend’s move may feel grief and anxiety akin to what adults feel after a significant loss, such as a death.

1. Stay positive. Regardless of your child’s age, reassure them that they can stay in touch with their friend. For younger children, show them the distance of the move on a map to help them understand. Remind them they can talk, text, Skype, email, or connect online frequently. In today’s world, kids have countless ways to stay connected with those who are not physically present.
2. Encourage connections with other friends. When a friend moves, your child may focus intensely on spending time with them, which can make the departure harder. Encourage them to expand their social circle by inviting other friends over alongside the friend who is moving. This helps them see they will still have friends after the move.
3. Highlight the friend’s perspective. Remind your child that the move is likely harder for their friend, who must adjust to new surroundings, a new school, and new friends. Encouraging empathy can help your child feel supportive rather than solely focused on their own loss.
4. Plan a visit if feasible. Discuss with the friend’s parents the possibility of a visit a few weeks after the move, depending on distance and the child’s age. Knowing they may see their friend again—and explore a new place—can shift their focus from grief to anticipation. Work out concrete arrangements before the move, if possible.
5. Create a friendship keepsake. Help your child and their friend make a shared photo album or memory book. This can become a cherished item for both children, offering comfort during moments of sadness and serving as a lasting reminder of their bond.
6. Start a weekly diary exchange. Suggest that your child and their friend exchange a weekly diary. Each can write about their week and then email or mail it to the other. This activity keeps them engaged and fosters a sense of connection despite the distance.
7. Keep them socially active. While your child may feel intense sadness or grief, encourage them to stay busy with other children. Enroll them in a sport or special interest program to fill their time with positive activities, reducing opportunities to dwell on the loss.
8. Validate their emotions. Allow your child to experience the range of emotions—anger, despair, grief, or sorrow—that are normal in this situation. While you can’t change the circumstances, your support is vital. Avoid minimizing their feelings, as this may make them feel unheard or dismissed.
9. Explain the reason for the move. Help your child understand why their friend is moving. For example, in military families, moving is a common part of life. When children know the family is moving due to a job or other necessity, they may handle the situation with greater maturity, diffusing feelings of anger or resentment.
10. Share your own experiences. Draw on your own memories of a friend or family member moving away. Share how you stayed connected despite the distance. This shows your child that you truly understand their feelings and offers practical examples of maintaining relationships over time.