Helping Your Child Lose Weight Without Hurting Their Self-Esteem
For several months, you’ve noticed that your daughter or son is putting on weight. At first, you chalk it up to growing pains or a growth spurt, telling them that they’ll get taller in just a few short months, which will even out everything in the middle. But at the same time, you notice they seem to consume more food than you can, eating at odd hours for reasons other than hunger. The trouble is, as a parent, you don’t want to hurt their feelings and hope, in the back of your mind, that they will grow out of it. Yet, at the same time, you want to help your child lose weight. As a parent, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. For your child, the risks of everything from diabetes to self-esteem issues are rising faster than the numbers on the scale. The last thing you want to hear is a doctor tell you your child is overweight; not only do you already know, but you certainly don’t want someone saying it in front of your kid!
The Growing Concern of Childhood Obesity
Let’s take a look at some facts. Today, on average, 1 out of every 3 children is overweight, and 1 out of every 5 is considered obese by pediatric medical guidelines. These statistics hold true for children who do not have any underlying health conditions contributing to their weight issues. The biggest contributing factor is not just a lack of physical exercise but also living in homes with parental weight problems. We can all understand how the technological age has turned children from outdoor adventurers into couch potatoes. We can blame advertisements, schools for eliminating PE, fast food restaurants, or anyone else we want, but the truth remains: as parents, we have to monitor and regulate our children’s diets and activities. More than likely, our children’s weight problems stem from how we parent.
Before anyone takes offense at that last statement, let me explain. I have two daughters who struggle with their weight. It is very difficult for me to say no to the cheese puffs and Nutty Buddy bars when they ask for them. The last thing I want to do is hurt their self-esteem or make them think they are “fat” at the age of 11—that’s what my mom did to me. By the time I realistically looked at their weight issues, I knew it was a bit late, but not hopeless. The changes for them started inexplicably with me. We were not starting a diet, but a new way of living because I wanted to be “healthier,” not skinnier. Since I do all the shopping, the whole house had to come along for the ride. There was no choice offered. End of discussion.
How to Help Your Child Lose Weight Without Singling Them Out
Helping a child lose weight is not an easy decision to implement. In order to do it without making the kids feel self-conscious, it must be introduced as a family change. The first step is to rid the house of all the junk food that plagues the cabinets and fridge. If the food isn’t there, no one can ask for it. Systematically, chips were replaced with protein crackers and low-carb baked crunchy foods. Cold carrots and pudding sat in the fridge where cookie dough used to lie. The “treat” cabinet was stocked with fruit snacks, mandarin oranges, granola bars, and healthy, no-sugar cereal. Even the milk was replaced with skim (which took some getting used to), and the tea went from sweet and delicious to cold and boring. Once all the junk was gone, the issue of saying no was alleviated. There was nothing in the house they couldn’t have. The whole family was on the road to healthy eating, and no one was singled out or made to feel insecure about their weight.
Helping a child lose weight also means reintroducing physical activity into the home. Limiting TV time or video gaming can go a long way in getting kids back outside to play. Sports are a great outlet for kids, and engaging in them is not only healthy but can make them more interested in being healthy. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink—that’s the old saying. Since these are our children, we have to lead them to water and show them how to drink. This means joining in on the exercise with them. Taking the stairs or parking farther away from entrances to get in extra walking time. Jogging around the block or yard together. Sit-ups and push-ups at night can become a family contest that motivates everyone to move. Chances are, parents need the exercise just as much as the kids do. When children witness their parents taking care of their health and bodies, it is only natural for them to follow the same path. Just as some responsibility for their weight situation falls on a parent’s shoulders, so does their initiative to get things back on track. They will learn more from our example.
The Importance of Support Over Criticism
If a child in your home needs to lose weight, I can say with certainty that the last thing to do is bring it up verbally. Name-calling, even if well-intentioned, damages fragile self-esteem at a young age. Once the weight is gone, the ridicule and the image of themselves they developed will live on, causing further problems down the road. They may be forced to live a life where they always “see” themselves as overweight. Although a child probably knows they are bigger than the other kids, or has been called names or teased at school, there is no good reason to be blunt and harsh about it at home. It is much more productive to engage in the new family plan of getting fit and eating healthy. This approach allows children to take control of the situation and feel comfortable within their own bodies. Children need to learn healthy habits at home, and helping a child lose weight is one of the best investments in their future that we, as parents, can make.
