Unite Anthropologists, Sociologists, and Historians!
Those who love to look back at history will observe that marriage—whether as an institution or social contract—has a colorful history. However, this picture may not be complete if we trace the history of marriage solely from the perspective of Western civilization, tribal and clan factions, or the rise of maternal or paternal households. The history of marriage can differ significantly depending on the parameters used by a historian or anthropologist.
For example, prehistoric societies needed to establish a secure environment to allow the species to multiply, create systems for property distribution, and protect kin. Historians argue that marriage facilitated these needs. However, because the world is a tapestry of different races with their own survival instincts, social mores, and codes of conduct, the perception of marriage varies widely.
History of Marriage – Early Promiscuity
While some theorists believe that promiscuity was common in early historical periods, it was nonexistent in certain cultures. Where it did exist, the practice was often confined to small groups.
In ancient cultures, marrying for love was rare. In India, falling in love before marriage was considered anti-social. The Greeks equated love with insanity, and Stephanie Coontz noted that during the Middle Ages, the French described love as a sort of mental illness that could only be cured by sexual relations, either with the loved one or with another partner (Marriage, a History, 2005). Thus, promiscuity held different meanings for different people. In China, excessive love between husband and wife signified a threat to family solidarity, leading parents to force their son to take a concubine if his wife could not produce a son.
In Europe, Coontz stated that adultery was often esteemed, especially among the aristocracy.
The idea of sexual fidelity was not a high priority in the past. In fact, expecting your partner to be physically faithful is a fairly recent invention. Did you know that when a woman had sex with another man and her husband did not object, this situation was called “wife loaning”? If the man sought another partner, it was termed “male privilege.”
Two centuries ago, Western Europe and North America began to develop a new set of values to structure marriage and sexuality. These values have since gained acceptance in many parts of the world. The Western concept of marriage emphasizes satisfying psychological and social needs while ensuring that marriage is free from coercion, violence, and inequality between the sexes.
History of Marriage – Other Developments
Following polygamy, polyandry emerged over the years.
Polyandry refers to the union of several husbands with one wife. This practice occurred at various historical periods among early British communities, primitive Arabs, groups in the Canary Islands, Native American tribes, the Hottentots, and certain populations from Ceylon, Tibet, and New Zealand, to name a few. While polyandry existed, it was more the exception than the rule, as monogamy and polygamy were more prevalent, although the trend gradually shifted toward monogamy. Even when a woman had multiple husbands, they were often brothers or closely related to her primary husband. A clear example is the Levirate custom, where the brother of a deceased husband was expected to marry his widow, illustrating that the wife was inherited by the nearest male relative.
As for polygamy, this practice was primarily available to the wealthy elite—kings, chiefs, and affluent men could afford multiple wives. Even in polygamous arrangements, the first wife usually held a higher status and enjoyed certain privileges.
What made polygamy common among those who could afford it? For starters, males were scarce (a claim still made today), often going off to war, alongside a predominance of female births. There was also the economic argument that during pre-industrial times, very few men had the means to support multiple wives.
Monogamy Still Rules
The history of marriage, especially during the dawn of the industrial period, provides ample evidence for the predominance of monogamy. It is generally recognized as the accepted form of marriage. One writer posits that societies have embraced monogamy “because it is in harmony with the essential and immutable elements of human nature.” Consequently, it has come to be regarded as the only natural form of marriage. Monogamy reinforces parental roles, secures children’s futures, and regulates human tendencies toward jealousy and undue passion. The well-being of children relies on the full dedication of both mother and father, necessitating that couples remain monogamous for this reason. While monogamy serves many purposes, the love and care of children are of paramount importance.
History of Marriage – Where Does Divorce Fit In?
Just as polygamy evolved into monogamy over the centuries, monogamy has also undergone modifications, explaining the existence of divorce. Some profound thinkers view divorce as a violation of monogamy and a rupture in the union of male and female.
Catholicism historically prevented the dissolution of marriages, a principle reflected in the civil legislation of Catholic countries. In non-Catholic nations, divorce has often appeared to be a straightforward option, as one writer noted, “scandalously frequent.” Between 1890 and 1900, the U.S. recorded 73 divorces per 100,000 marriages annually, double the rate of any other Western country.
As divorces become increasingly common, many Americans seek to curb the practice by advocating for stricter policies. Concerns about the impact of divorce on children and the moral fabric of the nation dominate these discussions.
History of Marriage – Abstention Also an Issue
Once upon a time, reports suggested that raising a child until they reach independence would cost a couple at least $300,000. This financial burden has prompted many potential spouses to consider the no-marriage alternative out of fear of inadequately providing for any children that may arise from the union.
Another factor influencing the desire to abstain from marriage is the preference for avoiding legal entanglements. Instead of establishing a pre-nuptial agreement, couples often choose to cohabit without formalizing their relationship. For many, emotional commitments take precedence, and legal considerations add an unwelcome burden. Furthermore, as individuals become older and more educated, they are less inclined to marry, especially early in life, as careers often take priority.
In her book, Marriage, a History, Coontz states, “what is true for individual marriages is also true for society. As a result of centuries of social change, most people in the Western world have a choice about whether or not to enter marriage, and, if they do marry, whether or not to stay in it for the rest of their lives.”
As we trace the history of marriage, it becomes evident that in earlier eras, marriage was a societal decision governed by tribes and clans. Today, the choice to marry is a personal one, independent of legal or cultural mandates.
Ready for a riddle? What are the four types of “rings” a man has to come up with in marriage?
- Engagement ring
- Wedding ring
- Suffe-ring
- Endu-ring
If you think we made that up, you’re mistaken! We actually found it online, though the author’s name was not provided.
The history of marriage serves as a valuable education, opening our eyes to aspects we may not have previously considered. Speaking of education, here’s another joke: “Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Master’s.”
We hope that brought a smile to your face!
