Many celebrities today seem to have fashionably large families. Chances are, you know at least two families with more than the 1.9 children deemed average since 2003 by the Center for National Statistics. On the surface, it may appear that women are recreating the 1950s baby boom, rivaling our grandmothers’ large families, but the truth is, they aren’t. In fact, a larger-than-average family today is considered one with three children (2.9, to be exact), and only about 28% of families fit this category. Why are family sizes so small? According to a report by the Center for National Statistics, there has been a global decrease in the number of children considered acceptable.
Decades ago, families simply grew, and no one questioned whether they had the time, money, skills, or resources to care for more children. They just managed.
Historical Shifts in Family Dynamics
Family size saw its biggest decline in the early 1900s. Before that, the average family had 7.3 children, with some having as many as 14. Without birth control, aside from abstinence, and with marital sex viewed as a duty for women, large families were inevitable. By the 1900s, the average family size dropped to around five children. Considering the cost of raising a family, this was still a significant undertaking. While costs were lower relative to wages, the biggest change in raising children today is parental attitude. Families with just 1.9 children often struggle financially to care for their little “investment.” So how did our grandmothers or great-grandmothers raise so many kids on a single income, often without working outside the home? Or did they work in their own way?
Reflecting on the past, recall those quiet conversations with your grandmother about her childhood. Life wasn’t easier back then. Women learned the art of raising a family and managing a home from a young age. Families ironed clothes, washed them by hand, and hung them to dry. They walked to grocery stores, grew their own vegetables and fruits, made their own bread, butter, and cheese, and tended livestock for meat, milk, and eggs. What they couldn’t produce, they traded with other families, creating a win-win situation to meet their needs. Food and shelter were priorities, far ahead of extra clothes, toys, or other non-essentials.
One major difference between then and now is that children were expected to contribute significantly more. They worked alongside their parents, learning to live well with simple means. This fostered quality time, family bonding, and a sense of ownership often missing in today’s fast-paced, tech-driven world. Modern parents feel obligated to let kids be kids, rarely expecting them to shoulder responsibilities.
Mothers typically stayed home until the 1970s, when the most significant decline in family size occurred in the United States and Europe. Despite Dr. Margaret Sanger’s efforts to legalize and distribute birth control, it wasn’t until 1965 that women could legally access it. These events, occurring within a few years of each other, were pivotal in changing family traditions.
Large families aren’t new, but why could women decades ago raise broods of children effortlessly, while today, according to nearly every Mommy Blog, raising one or two feels monumental? Are we trying too hard to do too much? Is it really about money, time, love, healthcare, relationships, or geography, or is it about convenience?
The difference is clear: everything costs more today because we’re buying convenience. Bread makers, grocery stores, gas stations, fast food, pharmacies, nail salons, hairdressers, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers—every modern convenience comes at a price. Women of the past raised families who worked together, relying little on such conveniences. Less money stretched further.
Moreover, just as we’ve grown dependent on technology, we’ve also become more lenient in our approach to raising children. Whether right or wrong, parents have become softer, expecting far less from children than our grandmothers did. Are we raising more level-headed, well-rounded, intelligent generations? Only time will tell.
Perhaps the biggest difference between you and your great-grandmother is mindset. Women are no longer confined to being the matronly center of the home. With endless possibilities come endless wants and desires. If you asked your great-grandmother how she managed, she might not have an answer. She just did. She went without, did what was needed, and didn’t complain because it wouldn’t put bread on the table. She wasn’t unhappy—she was busy, adept at doing what it took, no matter how hard. Life as you know it now is a bittersweet mix of too much and not enough, with little to balance the two.
