The impression of Peggy in the 80’s hit show Married with Children has left a horrible picture in the minds of society. Now it is so easy for the close minded folks to perceive us stay at home mothers as bon bon eating, soap opera watching, negligent and lazy moms. Nothing can be further from the truth. We all know that! What is just a little more difficult is not just being a stay at home mom, but being a happy stay at home mom. As a woman, mother, and wife how in the world do we maintain our sanity when it seems that the walls are closing in? Having done this for almost 12 years, I have just a little advice.
- Always have something more interesting to do than your kids’ activities. This keeps you from living through them and actually gives you something to look forward to each day.
- don’t even try reading a book. You will be more frustrated by not getting through it then you will if you just left it lying there to pick up water stains on the coffee table. The time for reading is not now.
- Have at least one man in this world that you see on a regular basis, who is not married to you that you flirt with and whom, thinks you are attractive. The loser at the gas station, the bagging boy at the grocery store, or the man behind the video counter. If none of those work, UPS things to yourself so you can at least be blessed to see one of the handsome men in brown!
- Never spend all day cleaning up after the kids. Commit to doing it once a day- getting it all done at one time. Otherwise your efforts are as frugal as shoveling snow while it’s still snowing. If you try to stay ahead of the cleaning, laundry etc’ you will be constantly cleaning and still really have nothing accomplished.
- don’t tell your in-laws everything you do!
- Have lots of girlfriends, with whom you expect nothing but fleeting conversations on the phone or while passing in your day to day. Trying to make and keep play dates for yourself is a sure way to bring a great friendship to an end. Lower your expectations of together time.
- Grocery Shop without the children!
- Teach your kids to clean at a young age so there is less for you to do!
- Give up on trying to get your kids clothes to match. Let them pick out their own outfits; you will be building their confidence, character and alleviating one more thing on the to-do list. Let them be unique at all costs.
- don’t try to compete with or engage in conversations with other moms unless you know your kids are friends. Otherwise you are just wasting your time and risking an argument.
- Keep hand sanitizer in your purse and use it often.
- Tell children public bathrooms are hideous places where germy monsters just wait to get you; that way they will never be tempted to use them.
- Have great music to play in the car to drown out the noise and chatter form the kids.
- Mowing grass is just as useful therapy as massage. The vibration and noise of the lawnmower drowns out everything else, its great exercise, great time to catch some sun and you get immediate satisfaction from your work. Offer to do it and let your husband watch the kids.
- Make your house the center of all play for your kids and their friends. As time marches on, you will always know what’s going on and who their friends are.
- Call your husband once a day and talk dirty to him. It will keep the marriage hot and make him less likely to stray.
- Wear lingerie at night no matter what! Find the sexiest pieces you can and wear them to bed even if you’re not in the mood. Your husband will appreciate it.
- Eat dinner with your kids every night without the television on
- Sing loudly, dance wildly and act totally crazy around your kids at least once a week so they never see you as just a serious fun sucker.
- Never over volunteer at your child’s school. This clearly means you don’t have enough to do.
- No matter what, find the time to take a shower every day!
- Learn how to tune out everyone around you for at least 5 minutes at a time. Do it so well that not even your kids can tell you aren’t really listening
- Take mommy time outs whenever necessary.
- Admit to you kids when you are wrong, when you overreacted, when you acted like a jerk, or when you re sorry! It teaches them to do the same and lets them know and see that no one is perfect.
- Keep candy in your purse at all times’.sometimes it can literally be a life saver.
- Never forget to schedule and keep your own doctors and dentist appointments
- When you get really nervous, stressed, bored or irritated- move furniture around, it always makes you feel better.
- don’t expect you spouse to understand.
- Get up an hour earlier than everyone else in the house and take that time to feel your breath, quiet your heart and open your mind.
- Try to work out, take a yoga class or do something for your body at least 3 times a week.
- Learn how to play again by watching your children and join in every chance you get even if you have dishes to do. They will wait for you. it’s more important to be silly.
- Never wear sweatpants and sloppy t-shirts unless you are totally by yourself. Jeans will make you eat less, feel better and look sexy
- Worry less, smile more and pray often
- Remember that each day is a new one with new opportunity, new things to be grateful for and new chances at sanity. Take life one day at a time
- Never go to bed dirty when the sheets are clean
- Indulge in the Enquirer, Star or some other ridiculous magazine that will take your attention away from your own life.
- Never worry if your kids take advantage of you. They love you unconditionally and always.
- Parent in your own style and quit trying to find answers to parenting questions in a book or guide. Half of those authors have never had children of their own, or leave them with nannies when they do. They certainly don’t have your children and you will find it easier and more enjoyable to parent through your own heart than through someone else’s. Have faith in your own decisions and abilities.
- Remember that sometimes teachers do know your children better’.Never be afraid to question doctors or be intimidated by their doctor speak! Hit them head on with your real concerns and questions. You have the right to know!
- Give your kids a break sometimes. Let them stay home from school a day, respect when they are tired or overworked and allow them to rest or just be. They are only young once and there days are long, stressful and tiring too. The extra attention and well needed rest can go miles for fixing their behavior.
- Always come from a spot that love you first, then everyone else and there will be no way anyone I your life will ever be disappointed. It is the sure fire way to make sure you are giving yourself credit, doing yourself justice and respecting who you are, who you ant to be and who you dream you are. Relax’.the time for this phase will soon come to an end.
- Remember that there is always plenty of time to work, plenty of money to earn in the future yet limited time to raise your kids. Act accordingly.
- don’t watch your favorite television shows while the kids are awake. TiVo and tune in when you can actually pay attention.
- Never worry that you will end up just like your mother. don’t try hard to do everything different. You won’t be like her, no matter what!
- Red shows are powerful! Whether they are flip flops, cowboy boots or heels get yourself a pair.
- Never ever compare yourself to other moms that you see. You were chosen to be the parent of your child and no one on the planet could do a better job.
- Avoid guilt! You did and do the best you can at the time’ let all else go. Never spend time in the past or worry about the future. Today is what you have to deal with and that is plenty.
- Whether child or spouse if you suspect they are lying – they probably are. Never spend time trying to drag out the truth from either, don’t belittle yourself by whining or pleading and remember that all truth reveals itself over time. Their lies are not your problem and you certainly cannot force anyone into anything.
- Forego trying to keep the inside of your car clean and excuse little messes. The fingerprints, French fries under the seat, gum on the carpet, and toothbrushes in the toilet are unimportant in the scope of life.
- Above all things, value what you do for a living and for a life. No one else will thank you, understand or be compassionate about how much you give up or give of yourself. Be proud, be strong and be happy about the fact that you are raising your children from the foundation of your own home. You are making the ultimate sacrifice for the betterment of society itself. Your job is more important than a presidency and more difficult than any other. Pat yourself on the back often!
