How To Deal With SPAM – The Edible Stuff

There have probably been more jokes made about Hormel’s SPAM than any other food on the planet. It was featured in a Monty Python’s Flying Circus skit, and the term has even been applied to unwanted e-mails. The first Project Mercury astronauts were referred to as “Spam in a Can” by other pilots, and the name itself has been the subject of many humorous mnemonics, such as “Something Posing As Meat,” “Specially Processed American Meat,” and “Something Posing As Meat.” It has often been verbally labeled in terms that are unprintable here, mostly by former GIs who were forced, by circumstance, to consume great quantities of it. It has come to be associated with poverty, due to its reasonable cost and wide availability.

In my opinion, SPAM has gotten a bad rap—and undeservedly so. I think it’s time to educate the general public about this wonderful product and make suggestions on how to deal with SPAM. First off, SPAM does not contain any weird or substandard animal parts (these are reserved for souse and other ‘specialty’ products). SPAM is made up of ham, pork shoulder meat, and spices. Since it is made in Minnesota, they use Minnesota spices, which means mostly sugar and salt. The only other ingredients in classic SPAM are water, meat stock, potato starch as a binder, and a small amount of sodium nitrate, which is found in all hams and smoked meats. Compared to most processed foods, SPAM is at the bottom of the list for additives.

The History and Versatility of SPAM

As for nutrition, a serving of SPAM (56 grams, or 2 oz.) contains 174 calories—not bad considering it’s all pork. By comparison, 2 oz. of roast beef has 132 calories, 2 oz. of ground beef has 190 calories, and 1 hot dog (2 oz.) has 183 calories. So, SPAM isn’t that bad calorie-wise. And even though a lot of the calories come from fat, it is saturated fat. These are not ’empty’ calories like polyunsaturated and trans fats. Your body knows how to process and use saturated fats. You can also cut the fat content significantly by rinsing the gel off of the SPAM when you remove it from the can. The gel, also called aspic, is just congealed pork fat from the meat stock it is packed in. While it has nutritional value on its own, it doesn’t hurt a thing to rinse it off.

SPAM has an interesting history. One of my personal quirks is that I absolutely hate waste of any kind. I live by the credo “Waste not, want not.” I re-use glass jars, margarine tubs, and anything else that can be re-used. I save vegetable and meat trimmings to make stock. The son of German immigrants, George Hormel opened a meat-packing plant near Austin, MN, in 1891. The business expanded and was very successful. WWI brought to George’s attention the same problems that have plagued every military unit from the time of the Romans—how do you get food to troops when they are deployed far from home? Meat is vital but perishable, and it is not feasible for armies to carry sides of beef strapped to their backs. With the mechanization of warfare, troops regularly outran their supply lines, which created a very real danger of the enemy cutting them off and chopping them up piecemeal. Mr. Hormel devoted much time and research into the problem, and in 1926, he supplied the world with the first canned hams, cooked and ready-to-eat right out of the can. They were ultra-portable and had an unbelievable shelf life (for the time). The only downside was that there was a lot of meat that went unused. Tons of perfectly good ham and pork shoulder trimmings were going to waste at a time when many people were in great need of cheap food. It was George’s son, Jay, who came up with a brainstorm. After almost 10 years of development, Jay created a way to press the leftover ham and pork shoulder meat into a usable shape, bind it with potato starch, and spice it up a bit. In 1937, Hormel marketed the product as Hormel Spiced Ham. The name lacked a little imagination, so they held a naming contest (with $100.00 and free drinks as the prize). The winning name was SPAM, which stood for SPiced hAM.

Once again, the world was gearing up for war, and SPAM was sent to the UK to ease their food shortages. When the US entered the war, the government contracted with Hormel to produce SPAM for the troops, and it proved to be a very wise move. SPAM was portable, nutritious, and could even be traded to locals (who were only too happy to have real meat) for other goods. That’s why in Hawaii and Asia today, SPAM is considered a delicacy. GIs ended up eating SPAM three times a day for extended periods, which is where much of the derogatory reputation comes from. Under those conditions, even sirloin steak would become boring after a while. But it kept them alive, healthy, and able to defend our country, and until the advent of freeze-dried foods (known as LURP, or MREs), SPAM was a staple of the US military, traveling with them everywhere.

Any food that has contributed so much to the security of our nation deserves better treatment than what SPAM has received. Thanks to a somewhat ‘tasteless’ skit by the Monty Python’s Flying Circus comedy group, the name SPAM is now applied to unsolicited e-mails. Hormel fought the moniker but gave up in 1991. Today, SPAM is available in a full range of flavors, from hickory-smoked to bacon, low-salt, low-calorie, hot and spicy, and even roasted turkey. SPAM has something for everyone.

SPAM’s modest cost and long shelf life make it a very good option for people with limited means. I always keep a good back-stock of SPAM and TREET for hard times. And, SPAM is extremely versatile. I will list several of my favorite recipes so you can learn how to deal with SPAM. Feel free to experiment. Hormel’s website has lots of great cooking ideas. Check them out at Hormel Foods.

Homemade Deviled Ham, or SPAM Mousse

I love Deviled Ham, but the commercial version is expensive. Here’s a way to make your own at a very modest cost. This is superior to the commercial stuff by a large margin.

Ingredients:

• 1 can of SPAM
• 3 Tbsp mayonnaise (a little more or less depending on how you want the texture. More = smoother)
• ½ tsp garlic powder
• ½ tsp onion powder
• ¼ tsp powdered cloves
• ¼ tsp powdered nutmeg
• Optional: a dash or two of Louisiana Hot Sauce to taste
• Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

1. Place all the ingredients in a food processor (or use a potato masher, wire whip, and a mixing bowl) and puree until smooth.
2. Place it in a container with a tight-fitting lid and chill overnight in the refrigerator.
3. Use this as you would commercial Deviled Ham. It’s great on sandwiches, crackers, and roll-ups.

SPAM Alfredo

One of my all-time favorite quick pasta dishes. You can be eating in less than 20 minutes, from start to finish.

Ingredients:

• 1 pound cooked pasta or noodles
• 1 can SPAM, diced
• 1 jar Bertolli’s (or your favorite brand) Alfredo Sauce
• A pinch of dried basil (for garnish)
• Optional: 1 Tbsp Olive Oil

Instructions:

1. Prepare your favorite pasta or noodles according to package directions, or your favorite method.
2. While the pasta/noodles are cooking, dice one can of SPAM.
3. Heat Alfredo Sauce in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the SPAM, lower the heat, and simmer until pasta is done, stirring frequently.
4. Drain pasta/noodles, toss with Olive Oil (if you like), and plate it. Drizzle the sauce over the pasta, and sprinkle with a touch of basil.
5. Serve with hot garlic bread.

SPAM, Green Beans, and Potato Soup

This is a variation of a traditional Amish soup. Like most Amish food, it is simple, hearty, and delicious.

Ingredients:

• 3 quarts vegetable or chicken stock (or plain water if you’re really pressed)
• 4 cans green beans, drained
• 3 cans new potatoes, drained and quartered
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 can SPAM, diced
• 1 cup chopped celery
• 1 cup chopped carrots
• 2 Tbsp butter
• 1 clove garlic, crushed (or 2 tsp garlic powder)
• Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

1. In a stock pot (at least 6 quarts), melt butter over medium heat and sauté onions, garlic, celery, and carrots until tender.
2. Add stock and bring to a boil.
3. Add SPAM, potatoes, green beans, and salt and pepper. Simmer for 30 minutes, covered.
4. Serve with hot fresh bread, biscuits, or cornbread.

SPAM Parmesan

I got this idea from an episode of *M*A*S*H*, where a wounded chef prepared SPAM Parmesan for Hawkeye and B.J. I’m not sure if an actual recipe existed at that time, but it does now. This is a delicious alternative to veal.

Ingredients:

• 1 package Fettuccine, cooked
• 1 jar Bertolli’s (or your favorite brand) Garden Marinara
• 1 can SPAM, sliced into 1” thick slices
• Mozzarella cheese, cut into slices to fit SPAM slices
• 1 cup fine dry bread crumbs
• 1/3 cup dry grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 eggs, beaten
• ½ tsp onion powder
• ½ tsp garlic powder
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 3 Tbsp oil, for frying

Instructions:

1. In a large mixing bowl, combine Parmesan cheese and bread crumbs. Mix well.
2. In another bowl, add beaten eggs, garlic powder, onion powder, and mix well.
3. Dip the SPAM slices in the egg wash, then dredge in the bread crumb/Parmesan cheese mix. Double-coat if you want.
4. In a skillet, fry SPAM slices on each side in the oil until golden brown. Remove carefully, so as not to disturb the crust, and place on paper towels to drain.
5. Carefully place each SPAM slice in the bottom of a greased oven pan, and top each slice with a spoonful of marinara sauce and a slice of mozzarella cheese. Bake in a 350°F oven for 20-30 minutes, or until the cheese is lightly browned.
6. Heat the extra marinara sauce in a saucepan and keep warm.
7. While the SPAM is baking, prepare the fettuccine noodles. When the fettuccine and SPAM are done, plate the fettuccine and top with extra marinara. Place SPAM on top of fettuccine.
8. Serve with hot garlic bread.