So many parents talk about that pivotal time when your infant becomes a baby and, finally and magically, sleeps through the night. This is the moment that parents eagerly await out of desperation for some sleep themselves. Unfortunately, for many parents, it never really comes, and long into toddlerhood, parents are left wondering how in the world to get their child to sleep through the night. While there isn’t a measurable science to accomplishing this task, there are many things you can try.
Establishing a Consistent Bedtime Routine
The first important step in getting a child to sleep through the night is creating a sleep routine. You don’t necessarily have to take them straight from the womb and into a sleep schedule. Even if you tried, their sleep needs and habits will change drastically in the first year, so it wouldn’t really work anyway. But you do need to establish some rituals that send your child the message that bedtime is approaching. The good thing is that these rituals can be personalized to you and your child as much as you want. Wrestling or having a chocolate tea party may not be good options, but many other things are.
Some parents like to kick off the nighttime festivities with a nice bath, some cuddling, and a few books of choice. Children naturally gravitate toward water, and it has a calming effect on both children and adults that cannot be denied. Make sure you allow your child to enjoy the bubbles and smells, and don’t forget to add in a hint of lavender just in case it really does work. After the bath, spend time massaging your baby with lotion or oils and allowing them some free playtime. This will help to expel any leftover energy from the day and keep them in a relaxed mood. One of the problems with bedtime for many kids is that mom and dad are so frantic about getting the kids to bed on time, they end up transferring those feelings onto their kids. Even an infant can pick up on this. After the playtime, take some time to cuddle and learn to set the mood. If you are trying to teach your child to sleep in their own room, make sure to take them there for some low lights, a book, and soft sounds.
Usually, kids fall into different categories of sleep difficulties. Either they don’t stay asleep or they have a difficult time falling asleep. For those who struggle to fall asleep, this routine is critical. If they continuously get out of bed to use the bathroom, say good night one last time, or ask for water—and you know this—you have to teach them that they will not be indulged. At the same time, don’t demand they sleep, as this will create too much pressure. Instead, just explain to them what the rules are and that they must stay in bed. For your toddler or preschooler, you may even want to give them a book light so they can quietly read their books until they fall asleep.
Even though it’s frustrating, when you’re learning how to get your child to sleep through the night, you have to realize that all kids have different personalities. Your child may be a thinker, prone to replaying the day’s events when they are alone in bed. It’s hard to ignore their requests, but you’re making progress if you consistently send them to their room alone and require them to stay there quietly. Eventually, they will catch on, and they won’t associate negative feelings with bedtime.
If your child is the one who wakes up during the night due to dreams, to use the bathroom, or because they want something, your problem is trickier to handle. Many parents, exhausted, end up opening up the covers and having their child climb in. After all, it’s easier than getting up and down yourself all night. If you don’t want to co-sleep, then don’t start this. Instead, send your child back to bed each and every time. If this happens frequently as they get older, you may want to consider pushing their bedtime back a bit. Some kids, despite their sleep needs, may simply not be tired. Other kids may have nightmares, nervous conditions, or be stressed about school or family situations. If you suspect your child is waking due to stress, see if you can talk to them about their feelings. If your child has full-fledged night terrors, consult your pediatrician.
The most important thing about bedtime and actually getting kids to bed is a routine. Your routine doesn’t have to be a textbook version from the newest parenting book, but it should be something that works for you. If it involves your child crawling into bed with you at some point, or lying down with you for a while at night (and that’s okay with you), then go with it. The point is, establishing routines for children is important, and these routines can be personalized. Some kids go to sleep watching television. Others like complete quiet. Another child may want mom or dad to lie with them for a while. Whatever works is what you should do. Once you find something that works, as a parent, it is your responsibility to stick with it.
Remaining calm and learning not to expect complete hysteria at night is another important rule in how to get your child to sleep through the night. What many parents seem to forget is that their child will, in fact, sleep. Perhaps not as much, or on the clock as their parents wish, but they do sleep! Working around their schedule, personality, and finding what suits your family will no doubt bring both you and your child a full night’s sleep.
The other thing, as with all things that involve raising children, is that this too shall pass. Soon, you’ll be complaining that they sleep too much! Try not to overly sweat the issues, and be careful not to wish your child would ‘grow up’ faster than they already do.
