Something feels off about your relationship. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but there’s something that bothers you. You may wonder if you’re being misled—and then second-guess yourself for thinking that. Could the new love in your life be married? Chances are, they could be. With the explosion of internet dating and long-distance match-ups, it’s more important than ever for people to do their research and ensure that the person they are dating is exactly who they say they are—including their marital status.
Luckily, just as the internet makes it easier for couples to meet, it also provides the tools for people to engage in a little sleuthing of their own to determine if someone is married. However, marital status can still be hidden, and it’s up to you to look for clues and hints.
Signs to Look Out For: Is They’re Hiding Something?
First, consider the statistics. According to Online Dating Magazine, reporting on a study by MSNBC, around one-third of all people seeking relationships online are already married. Why do they lie? The study suggests these individuals are trying to “get their kicks” by boosting their ego without crossing the line into infidelity. Keep in mind that emotional infidelity can often be more damaging to a relationship than actual sexual infidelity.
There are several warning signs that may indicate the person you’re interested in is married. Before diving in, though, it’s essential to choose dating platforms that prioritize protecting their users. Check the FAQ page of the site to see what measures they take to verify if someone is married. Some sites have thorough—though not foolproof—sign-up procedures, while others, like UDATE, have little to no verification. It’s best to go with dating sites that are reputable and make an effort to filter out individuals just seeking a fleeting thrill at the expense of your heart. Once you’ve chosen a good site, stay grounded and keep an eye out for the following red flags.
One clear sign that someone may be in another relationship is if they refuse to post a picture. If you meet someone online and they refuse to upload a photo, this should raise a red flag. Additionally, if the picture they do post is very vague or obscure, be cautious. In fact, insist they send you a picture directly. Married people often hesitate to share photos publicly, but they might still be willing to email one to you. When they do, look for inconsistencies—such as checking the properties of the image file, which may reveal it was taken from the internet.
If you’re in an online dating scenario, pay attention to how eager the person is to initiate conversations. This isn’t inherently bad, but if they seem reluctant to share many details about their life, you should be cautious. A person who’s genuinely interested in you shouldn’t hesitate to share their work phone number or email address. If there’s hesitation—no matter how plausible the excuse—it’s a cause for concern.
Another subtle sign that someone might be married is how and when they respond to you. If you notice that your “friend” only communicates with you outside of working hours, it may be worth wondering why. Some people lie and claim they work nights, but in reality, they’re spending that time with their spouse or family. Similarly, if weekends are problematic or they often go several days without responding, be suspicious. As the relationship grows more serious, you shouldn’t be left alone on holidays or unable to reach your significant other at night. Another clue could be if they only respond very late at night, rather than during more typical daytime hours. Look for signs that you’re integrated into their everyday life, rather than just a hidden aspect of it.
Eventually, in any relationship, you’ll meet the other person’s friends or family. But if it seems like there’s never an opportunity to meet anyone in their life, this could indicate something isn’t right. Most people, at the very least, have acquaintances they’re eager to introduce. If they don’t, it’s worth questioning.
If you sense something is off, trust your instincts. It’s not just about figuring out whether someone is married, but also about ensuring you’re safe in the relationship. A simple Google search on a person can often yield useful information. You’re the one who gets to decide how to interpret that information. You can also use resources like LinkedIn, or check employment or company databases to verify the person’s existence. Public records can be helpful as well—if you’re truly concerned, paying a small one-time fee for more in-depth information could be worth it. People often leave subtle clues about their lives that can help you do some sleuthing of your own, right from home.
Finally, if you have a gut feeling that something isn’t quite right, maybe you should follow it. You don’t need to explain yourself or wait for your suspicions to be confirmed by their actions. Dating is about finding someone who feels right to you and is compatible with your values. If you’re constantly worried about whether someone is lying to you or is married, it’s likely a sign that something isn’t right in the relationship. Consider it a warning signal.
