Ever wonder where the acronym STFU came from? (If you don’t know what it means, look it up in an urban dictionary!)
It was probably devised by a group of parents sitting in their living room, trying to have a grown-up conversation, when suddenly a bunch of rug rats burst through the door and completely interrupted them. This likely happened so many times during the evening that one parent came up with an acronym they could actually say out loud to express their extreme annoyance at being constantly interrupted by bratty kids who just don’t seem to get what the more polite version, “I’m talking, so zip it,” means.
Or maybe the acronym came from a mother who noticed that every single time she talked on the phone, she would be interrupted mid-sentence before she could finish what she was saying or even hear the person on the other end. The truth is, you know you have a problem with your kid’s behavior when it comes to interrupting if most people you know don’t even try to hold a conversation with you anymore. After all, children who interrupt parents — or other adults on a constant basis — are not just annoying, but rude!
How to Teach Your Child Not to Interrupt
But how do you get your kids to understand the message of not interrupting you while you are talking or doing something? After all, they honestly believe they are the center of the entire universe, and that the Yoo-hoo they want you to grab from the top shelf of the fridge is truly a life-altering priority — even if you are on the phone with your boss or doctor.
The first rule of thumb when it comes to your children interrupting you is to be patient and to keep teaching them that this is not the way to behave. Remember, they don’t realize that their excitement and enthusiasm to tell you something is not the most important thing in the world. They are simply reacting based on how they feel in the moment. And that’s totally how kids operate — they think of themselves first and foremost. As with all manners that you teach children, parents have to be persistent, constantly reinforcing the behavior they want to see.
One practice that is commonly used in Montessori pre-schools and recommended by parenting experts is to first go over the rule. Tell your kids that if you are talking, they need to wait their turn. Make sure they understand the rule. The next step is to remind them the next time they interrupt you that they will need to wait. You can use a simple hand gesture, like putting your finger to your lips or holding up your hand. If you acknowledge them and their presence — and have a quick, easy way to tell them to hold on — kids will naturally become more patient. If they continue to interrupt, hold firm to your lesson. Many parents simply get so agitated that they’re being interrupted and that the kids aren’t listening that they cave in and give a hasty, “What do you want?” Unfortunately, the child won’t get that you’re irritated; they’ll only learn that their approach worked. It got your attention, and you replied to them. (Doesn’t matter if the response was undesirable.)
As your child gets older, you can instruct them to approach you when you are busy by gently putting their arm on your hand, leg, or shoulder. This is a quiet way for them to let you know they need your attention. You can respond by placing your hand on them, which lets them know they’ve been acknowledged. This acknowledgment is important because it helps prevent kids from acting hysterically or incessantly saying, “Mama, mama, mama,” while tapping you repeatedly.
Again, you’ll need to engage in this method many times. Even still, there will be times when your child will think that whatever they have to say — or need — is more important than what you are in the middle of. Persevere.
One key reminder from child development experts is that you should not stop talking or make eye contact with your child when they interrupt. If your child is very young and interrupts you or other adults, use the same steps as above. Also, since other people in your extended family may not enforce the same rules as you do, make sure YOU do.
Not interrupting people is a mutual lesson of respect and manners. Not only is it rude to interrupt people when they are talking, but it is also disrespectful. If your child learns to wait their turn before speaking — and feels satisfied that their needs will be met in due time — they will likely grasp the lesson easily. Plus, this will help them become better listeners and understand the general rules of communication.
Finally, you have to admit — teaching your child not to interrupt and following through on the lessons that keep them from interrupting you and other adults is much better than losing your cool, feeling anxious, and getting upset that your child is being rude. (And much better than the STFU alternative!)
