I Hate My Husband – Disliking the Man You Married

I HATE My Husband! Has anyone ever felt this way? Seriously?! Not really hate, of course, but have you ever felt so turned off and put off by the man you married that you wonder what in the world you saw in him in the first place? You even begin to wonder if you should have listened to your mother when she said he was no better than Al Bundy from Married with Children. Here’s how it usually plays out.

You wake up on a Saturday morning looking forward to a day of togetherness, only to realize there’s one big lump of grumpy getting in your way. All week long, you’ve taken care of the kids, kept the house reasonably clean, and managed everything on your own. And now, suddenly… he’s home! And you can’t get a single thing done. The house looks like a complete and utter mess, and while you’re trying to vacuum up the potato chip crumbs in the living room, he’s sitting in the recliner, rolling his eyes because he can’t hear the television over the roar of the vacuum cleaner. Then, when the kids start to roughhouse and play around, or try to engage him in a little game of tag or hide and seek, he acts irritated, hoping that you’ll take them outside so he can continue watching the ball games.

The Struggles of Saturday “Family Time”

Then, around noon-ish, after several trips to the bathroom with the newspaper in hand (and several failed attempts at using room deodorizer), he’s suddenly in a good mood and wonders what you’re going to do all day. When you suggest a great idea like visiting the park, going to a movie, or going out to dinner so you don’t have to cook or clean up the house, he shoots it down. This just makes you wonder why the heck he asked in the first place, because it sure doesn’t seem like he wants to do anything with you. So, the rest of the day becomes a combination of him leisurely lying around the house in the recliner with a beer, watching March Madness. After all, Saturday is his day off! He worked all week and is tired. Meanwhile, YOU are still running around like a chicken with its head cut off, tending to an extra overgrown child.

Come Saturday evening, when the relaxing is over, he might throw you a random compliment—telling you how good you look in your jeans. Or he might come up behind you, put his arms around you, and let you know he’s in the mood for a “good time.” But at this point, you’re so disturbed by the smells coming from the bathroom, the fact that the lawn is still not cut, and that the kids are driving you crazy, that the thought of sex… with him… is the furthest thing from your mind. Then, you’ll be accused of acting cool or turning him down, and he might just say, “What the heck is the matter with you?” before walking off in a huff. Men!

If you show the least bit of irritation toward the kids, you get accused of being in a bad mood, or worse, he takes up for the kids and lets them dump all of the couch cushions on the floor, eat tacos in the living room, use the draperies you just washed as Superman capes, and even buys them all candy from the convenience store when he goes to buy his beer—an hour before bedtime.

Okay, so maybe this was just a bad day in the household of love and marriage. Or maybe this is just the part of love and marriage that no one warns you about ahead of time or is afraid to admit in public?

But realistically speaking, it is perfectly normal and okay to hate your husband (or your wife) every once in a while. There is truly no way to live with one person for so long without being irritated to the point of complete disdain by their actions and behaviors. And chances are, just as you might hate your husband from time to time, he hates you too. He hates the way you spend money, or hates the way you leave your keys all over the place and can never find them when you need to go somewhere. He might hate that you’re always late, or that you feel it’s okay to stay in your robe all day on Saturday, which is ugly to say the least. Maybe he won’t get off the darn couch until you get out of your darn robe or something?

Bottom line: there is a very, very thin line between love and hate. And normally, one always comes with the other braided inside.

And Monday is only a few days away. There is some truth in the statement that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” It’s amazing how much love you can feel for your mate when they’re not in your face 24 hours a day. It’s amazing how nice it can feel to see him come home from work on Monday evening, even though you spent most of your weekend wondering why you ever chose him as your husband to begin with. Then, as the weekend draws near again, you feel that same sense of anxiety welling up inside you knowing that you’ll be held hostage by your marital vows to a man you know you love (on some level), but who you also swear you hate.