Comments on: I Think My Daughter is Gay – It Should be No Big Deal

By: Artie

Artie — Wed, 28 Dec 2022 08:50:46 +0000

I feel so bad for you. This is what I think. Your daughter. Is very confused right now and it may take a very long time for her to figure everything out. When she does, she is going to need you and your wife and her brother to help her recover her life. Until that time, I advise that you and your wife pray for her everyday and for yourselves to do as God wills. You do not have to tell her that you accept her lifestyle. Or pretend that everything is fine. If she asks, you can tell her it is against God’s law and that you wish she had chosen a different path but that you will always love her and want what is best for her. This behavior is against God’s law and we are wrong to cover over that fact. We are God’s creatures and being right with Him is more important than any other relationship we have. I am not gay, but sometimes I think that people choose the gay lifestyle because it is less demanding—-if you are a girl, it is easier to be emotionally simpatico with another girl than with a man sometimes. I believe you are right for wanting a different life for her. Make sure she knows that because you love her (and for no other reason), you are telling her it is against God’s law. And that you will always love her and want what is best for her. Before you speak with her, spend a long time praying and asking for God’s guidance and grace.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 23 Apr 2022 18:26:08 +0000

This is me as well. I have a college aged daughter who says she’s bisexual but I’m realizing she may just be biding time with it at college until she comes out as lesbian. I’ve tried to be as understanding and supportive as I can with her figuring this out but at the same time having such trouble pulling my hair out at everything indoctrinating her into the lgbtq lifestyle. She acted similar as this daughter and was sheepish with dating guys in high school but had guy friends. She was caring and graceful, very intelligent and funny. Insecure tho, and needing confidence as we all did in teen years, but I figured it was fine, plenty of time to date. But Gone are the days when we say we’re just not ready to date guys yet. We all have to know our “identity”, and challenge it to mean something other than hetero. Then she compassionately befriended a lesbian volleyball teammate and in months everything we knew she was went out the window. I can barely even identify or tolerate her new values anymore. I barely know her and that is because she knows I don’t agree with this new mindset. It’s destroying our family. For instance, unless a guy is very docile or gay, she finds him intimidating and treats him completely unkind. Which now causes new issues to be dealt with her younger brother who is a wonderful and caring boy.. And unless now your on her side politically, your an outright enemy because your a bigot and can’t be trusted. We are her parents, politics never mattered, but now they do and she sees us as a direct threat. Villains. And treats us as such. Her disdain at the family who loves her is heartbreaking. It’s like something kidnapped her mind.-and it’s been tearing our family apart since. So in the comments above, I believe “wishing she were dead” was to be directed at the girlfriend of the daughter, as I know and I admit that was how I was feeling to this girlfriend that preyed on my daughters sympathy. Of course we don’t really wish that, but I feel like I got robbed of my true daughter. She’s become socially, politically and emotionally opposed to everything I am. Now hating family members because of their occupations(police) and me because of my “traditional” lifestyle-which has been able to only make her life possible. It’s hard to see eye to eye so we either don’t talk about it, or I find myself compromising my own values just to keep in good graces.
As far as her confidence and lgbtq fears-Shes “out” to whoever cares to ask. She’s not worried or scared of what it means. She has become secure in telling ppl she’s bi. She’s currently dating a guy but unfortunately I’m realizing he may be a “litmus test” in order for her to confirm her sexuality..And with her current state of ire, he doesn’t stand a chance. And I am devastated. And trying to find a safe place to unload all of my emotions without being shamed and called a bigot. Three years of trying to navigate this and still no real luck for parents struggling so hard. Yes I did dream about our future together. Yes I am devastated instead of celebrating the fact that we may never share the same ideals again. I’ve yet to meet a parent does not have hopes and dreams for their kids that don’t coincide with their own. Why would I have children and not want them to share the same values and morals as my own? To spend decades doing and being everything I can to create our family only to be told they’re not interested in what I have to offer? Rejecting what I spent my life believing in and creating. Who gets pregnant saying I can’t wait for that day??. So Yes. This is beyond devastation. And heartbreak. Can we all just stop denying that?
The comments I see here are exactly right, as far as support-there is next to none. Yet I keep seeing so many of us who are suffering. Our children have received oodles of support, constant media focus and plenty of acceptance even media vilification of their own parents. Right now parents need help. How can we be on the road to acceptance when the only advice is either fake it til you make it, or shaming you if you can’t just hop on board. And this from those who have no stake in my own family’s lives.. Vilifying parents if they don’t celebrate the occasion. Since this has all happened we struggle to see eye to eye on even mundane daily events much less social and political views. The pain is immense. The future feels bleak. It goes beyond gender and changed everything she thinks and feels from this time forward. I’ve truly lost her and yes mourn what we could’ve had going forward as a mother and daughter. I hate what it has done to us. I feel like all I could identify within her is fake or gone, yes like she has died. And this stranger standing before me now demands not just my acceptance but my unwavering support of so much I am not in agreement with…or else.

By: Stacey

Stacey — Mon, 07 Mar 2022 15:09:07 +0000

In reply to Robby. Very well put!! I couldn't imagine thinking things like this of my proclaimed leabian teen daughter. Do I as a Christian believer struggle with her choice? Yes definitely, but wish death on her? Absolutely not!! I will pray for this man and others who feel this way. Well thats my 2 cents.

By: Robby

Robby — Sat, 17 Apr 2021 02:10:09 +0000

This comment was so heartbreaking it nearly brought me to tears. You wish your own daughter was dead? I can’t believe that a father would be disgusted and hateful of his own child. How dare you even call yourself a father. Your hatred is what brings you shame. You’re the cause of your misery, not your daughter. She’s her own person whether you understand her choices or not. As long as she’s not hurting anyone, she’s a good person. We have to love people unconditionally. And if we can’t, they are better off without us. No child deserves to be regarded so cruelly by their own parent. Instead of questioning her decisions, why don’t you look at yourself and ask yourself why you are the way you are – hateful and cruel. That’s worse than anything else so get off your high horse and work on yourself.

By: George

George — Wed, 27 May 2020 17:10:11 +0000

My daughter is gay – or thinks she is. She has manageable mental health issues so I keep hoping it’s a phase. She pretty much lives with her girlfriend and I’m really struggling with the situation. I find her revolting and although pretend to be supportive on the outside I actually wish she was dead. I feel incredibly sad, embarrassed and ashamed. I’ve cut off all my friends as I can’t bare anYone bringing it up. I didn’t think me and my wife (she doesn’t have a problem with this) would make it. My lies allow this to work for now but don’t know about the long term. The prospect of her getting married with children etc. makes me feel sick. Searching for support and understanding on YouTube has been very frustrating. I’m not a Christian and their other films just look like something from a daytime TV show – lots of acceptance and tears and so on… I’m very angry and indescribably upset. It’s nothing to do with me what people do in the bedroom, but this is MY daughter. This isn’t who we are. We’re good, strong, normal working, European people. Not this. I don’t see how this will work in the long term and it’s tearing our family apart. There doesn’t seem to be any help for people like me in the U.K.

By: Alex

Alex — Sun, 03 Sep 2017 18:49:35 +0000

I don’t have anything against gay people but I ask you to sit down and just reflect on how you were brought into this world, think about the circle of life. Let it sink in that if it wasn’t for a man and a woman having some sort of relationship you wouldn’t be here. So think about it if your mom or dad were gay you wouldn’t have been here. If the people continue being this ignorant we going to become extinct cause two man or two woman can’t bring life into this world.

By: Madison

Madison — Wed, 21 Jun 2017 04:02:37 +0000

In reply to Jade.

Ok listen first of all this “story” seems very fake and that’s coming from a gay teen girl. Sure there are moms like this and worry that we are not normal, but why is liking a girl that much different from liking guys? It isn’t. At all. Honestly, everyone is getting so worked up about things like wanting grandchildren, but in reality you just want to live vicariously through your daughter by being a mom again. You don’t have to do anything to “fix” your daughter and if she is trying to hide it, then I’m afraid you haven’t been a very good parent in the first place.

By: Jade

Jade — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 02:49:48 +0000

In my search for guidance in dealing with a similar situation, I found this article and I closely relate to this mom. Is there more to the article or other recommendations of resources that can help navigate through it?