I Want a Baby – Is your Biological Clock Ticking?

woman in pink sweater

When the feeling strikes, it is impossible to set aside. For years, you may have navigated life, irritated and indifferent to the cute little babies around you, glad to be free from the responsibility of caring for a little creature. Then, suddenly—perhaps because you met that special someone or felt the relentless ticking of your biological clock—you wake up and all you can think about is baby blue and pink. You realize, with an epiphany, that you want a baby! Once you reach this point, the feeling is irreversible and can consume your every thought. It’s as if the words “I want a baby” are imprinted on your forehead, and you notice blue-eyed, pudgy, short humans gravitating toward you at every turn.

Wanting a baby and having a baby are often two different things. It’s almost like ordering a new dish at your favorite restaurant. You know you love the food there and usually stick to your go-to dish. But one day, you decide to try something new. As you wait, you imagine the delicious sautéed onions and mushrooms, the mouthwatering chicken, and the crunchy water chestnuts. When the dish arrives, you take one bite and think, “Oh, is this really what I ordered?” Suddenly, you wish you had stuck with your old favorite. The problem with applying this mindset to children is that you can’t just come back another day and order your old standby—you’re forever stuck with chewy chicken and mushy chestnuts!

Of course, children are wonderful and amazing. They are indeed little miracles, and when you have them, you wonder why you waited so long or how you lived without them. Yet, the harsh realities of taking full responsibility for another human life—including the emotional, financial, physical, and spiritual exhaustion that often sets in—are not something most people expect. Even if they’ve been warned by parent friends or have babysat nieces and nephews, nothing prepares you for the reality that follows the “I want a baby” mindset. One reason having a baby is so challenging is that it completely alters your life all at once; your world falls apart and must rebalance more quickly than ever before. The moment you become pregnant, your life—and even your own body—are handed over to another life, and when the baby is born, you realize just how helpless and needy they are. Whatever your dreams were before, they now change, and you have to readjust every thought and action to accommodate them. This shift often brings a deep sense of regret and longing for the life you had before, which can lead to resentment about your decision. But don’t worry; it won’t last long.

Luckily, these feelings will fade into the deeper layers of who you are, remaining on standby until your children grow up. This allows you to give and provide for your child in ways you never thought imaginable or necessary. There is no feeling in this world that compares to holding your own flesh and blood, straight from the womb. It is the pivotal moment where dreams are created.

There are many ways to prepare for the “I want a baby” syndrome that strikes both men and women. Experts recommend preparing your mind and body, solidifying your financial future, and baby-proofing your home before your baby is even born. Counselors suggest being married for a certain number of years and understanding your partner’s deeply rooted belief system to reach an agreement on shared parenting. The problem with all this is that when the process of having a baby is overthought or overplanned, you remain in a state of exhaustion and doubt about becoming a parent. This takes away from the sheer, pure joy of simply listening to your intuition. “I want a baby” may just mean that the time in your life is right, your fertility is prime, and you’ve finally realized that there is more love in life—and within you—that needs to be shared. In other words, it doesn’t have to be explained with precision—it can’t be!

Wanting to have a baby is a natural, innate, and beautiful feeling that just is.

Millions of babies are born for the wrong reasons. Many are born into troubled marriages seeking something to bind them together more permanently. Others arrive from one-night stands or failed birth control methods. Another group comes to those who never believed they would want a baby, and still more are born to frantic, hormonal women who are in baby mode. The when’s, whys, and how’s really don’t need to be explained, and no woman should have to fully understand the reasoning behind the “I want a baby blues.” The bottom line is that when you meet your child (or children), it all makes sense. It may not be the dish you expected on more levels than one, and you may find that some days the sautéed chicken is chewy or that you didn’t get what you anticipated. Yet, you will always come back to this place, and you will never consider sending it back.

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