You don’t have to know anything about medicine or health to understand that sex is good for you. In fact, unless you are a perverted addict with sexual issues, you will never hear otherwise. Sex is a good thing. It makes us feel good. It’s beneficial for our health, for our relationships with the people we love, and it helps keep us young. It’s a universal desire shared by every human being on earth. By our creation, we are sexual beings.
So, here you have one of the most natural, comfortable, and enjoyable things in the world, yet so many people seem to be forsaking it. You hear about husbands and wives who haven’t touched each other in years. Women who have never experienced a real orgasm. Men who are unable to maintain an erection. Couples who cheat on one another (due to the lack of sex in their relationship). In fact, the world is flooded with information suggesting that one of the most natural things in our world is increasingly difficult. The bottom line is, if sex is so good for us, why don’t we do it more often? Seriously, what is wrong with us humans?
According to a sex survey, a lot! In early 2011, Playboy, the leader in the sex industry, surveyed over 66,000 people. The survey revealed just how unhappy most of us are with our sex lives. Here are some of the results:
- 59% of women said they fake orgasms in the bedroom, pretending to have one when they are not.
- 43% of men and women admit to looking for online dates while in a committed relationship.
- 59% of older adults wish they had sex more often.
- 67% of adults under the age of 45 wish they had sex more often.
- 87% of married respondents said they were unsatisfied with their sex lives with their partners.
- 85% of men and 53% of women admit to engaging in some form of porn without their partner’s knowledge, whether it’s looking at magazines or renting movies.
- 69% of couples believe they cannot talk candidly with their partners about sex and what they want to happen in the bedroom.
These are staggering statistics. Worse still, other credible sex surveys show that couples, on average, have sex less than 10 times per month after the first year of marriage. In the years that follow, those numbers drop even more. According to Psychology Today, as many as half of all marriages today are sexless, and sex is often the number one reason for divorce.
What is really going on here?
Analysts and experts have been trying to figure that out for years. It boils down to the fact that while sex is a physical act, much like running or talking, it is also a very emotional one. With sex comes hundreds, if not thousands, of years of ideals and conditioning passed down through the ages. Rather than sex being a normal part of being human, people today associate it with sanctity, which diminishes its innate potential.
For instance, some people see sex as a dirty thing. They feel guilty about their sexual needs or desires based on religious beliefs or morals passed down by their parents. It can be difficult for people to verbalize their feelings about sex because it is often seen as risky or subject to criticism. Others see sex as negative or hurtful, depending on their past experiences. Even movies and mainstream media often depict sex in a sneaky, almost gritty manner, making it seem as cursed as the apples in Eden. People struggle to reconcile their physical need for sex with their emotional and intellectual perceptions, which causes a lot of disruption when it comes to having and enjoying sex.
Moreover, there are so many stereotypes surrounding sex that people often become confused about their natural feelings when engaging in it. Many have bought into beliefs that perpetuate negativity toward sex, making them less likely to enjoy it. For instance, couples often believe that every small issue that arises between them affects their sex life. The reality, however, is that a relationship and the sex within it can exist on completely separate planes.
Since Greek mythology, sex has been seen as merely an extension of love. The truth, however, is that humans are sexual creatures even when they are not in love. Basic sociology proves that human beings are instinctively sexual creatures, operating under the same principles as the rest of the animal kingdom. Just as a male animal is drawn to a female animal when she is “in heat” or “in season,” humans emit similar pheromones—but we’re taught to ignore them.
There is no easy way to fix the current sexual situation in society. People are torn between their instincts and their minds when it comes to sexuality. Many are afraid to be honest, open, and forthcoming, often carrying such remorse or guilt associated with sex that it can become difficult to just enjoy it. In other words, the reason people aren’t having sex the way they should is that their minds, which could be the greatest sexual tool, are getting in the way of their sex lives.
Perhaps the easiest way to improve your sex life is to just do it. In the infamous words of Nike, maybe it’s time to realize that, while you are a thinking and emotional creature, you are also beautifully designed to be a sexual one. The bottom line is: sex is good for you. You should have it often. You should be able to enjoy sex with your partner without being bound by emotions and thoughts that do nothing but disservice you in the bedroom. It’s what your body was designed to do, regardless of what your mind thinks.
