If You Don’t Pick Up Your Toys, I will Throw Them Away

Take one look around your child’s room—or your entire house—and you will realize that you have likely overindulged your child a bit. If you’re like the average family, your home is a mixture of grown-up décor combined with a variety of brightly colored toys. These toys come with dozens of pieces, make noise, and are designed to keep your child occupied for hours at a time. (Yeah, right!) Sadly, you are probably the one who gets so tired of picking up toys that your child “just had to have.” You kick them out of the way, find them in the couch cushions, and step on them in the middle of the night. At some point, you may have blurted out in frustration, “If YOU don’t pick up your toys, I will throw them away!” (Which might not be such a bad idea!) It kind of makes you miss the days when all you had to do to get your child to clean up was play the “clean up, clean up” song from a Barney CD.

So, is throwing these toys away really the solution? Or is there another way for parents to convey the message that every toy in the house has its proper place without worrying that your obsessive tendencies might harm your child’s psyche long term?

Practical Solutions for Toy Clutter
The first thing you need to ask yourself when you’re buried in toys that are lying around the house is whether you have over-stimulated your child by providing too much. On average, children don’t need a house full of things to do. In fact, one of the things that can make children feel overloaded is having too many things around them. If this is the case, a simple solution is to go through your home and scale back on toys. You don’t have to throw them away or even give them away. One great idea is to simply pack them away and put them out of sight for a while. This way, your child can focus on the toys they’re truly interested in at the moment. In the future, you’ll have a fresh sampling of toys to offer your kids without having to go out and buy more.

You should tackle this toy organization task when your child is away. If they are with you during the process and you ask for their input, you’ll likely be able to eliminate much of the toy clutter. But if you do it on your own, your child probably won’t even notice the missing items.

Once you’ve made things a bit more manageable, sit down with your child to review your expectations. Let them know that it will be their responsibility to put their toys away when they’re done playing. In the beginning, they will need reminders. You can also ask your child not to take out every single toy at once but instead play with just a few items at a time to avoid an avalanche of toys strewn around your home. Create a chart or use a reward-based system, like a jelly bean jar or stars, to motivate your child. You can even assign points that add up to money for a new toy later on.

Of course, there must be a consequence. After you and your child have spent time discussing the expectations and you see them making progress, you can start taking toys away if they don’t follow the rules. If they leave their horses, toy trucks, or blocks out and start another toy mess, simply bag up the toys they left behind. Then, you can either donate them to a needy family or offer your child the chance to earn them back with good behavior. Make sure your child sees you doing this so they understand the consequence. And, no matter what, don’t cave in to crying, unreasonable pleas, or tantrums about the toys being taken away.

Another effective method is to set a cleaning time at home. When evening approaches, and you know you’re down to mealtime, bath time, and bedtime stories, turn on some music and make a family event of cleaning up the home. If you have multiple children, you can assign specific areas that need tidying up, allowing you to get twice as much work done in half the time. This way, you won’t have to nag your child throughout the day to clean up, nor will you be left with a mess to handle on your own after the kids go to bed. As a bonus, you might just find that you can relax a little more when the house is neat and tidy, and the kids are asleep.

You also have to realize that just as parents enjoy their knick-knacks and decorations around the home, children enjoy their stuff. Sure, it might not always fit with your décor and may sometimes create obstacles when you’re trying to move around, but it’s their stuff, and they should be able to enjoy it in their own home. When it comes to their rooms, try to keep your sensitivity to messes at bay. Allow your children to claim and own their own space in the home. Eventually, they’ll realize that living amidst the chaos of toys isn’t fulfilling, and they’ll try to organize it themselves.

It’s important to keep your design preferences to yourself when it comes to what’s aesthetically pleasing in your child’s room. Otherwise, they may feel like you’re stealing their ownership and being overly controlling. And if the mess really bothers you, you can always just shut the door and not have to see it!