The life of childless couples is one that is coveted by so many people who have taken the plunge into parenthood. Oh, the days of sleeping in on weekends as late as you want, going out to dinner at midnight if you’re hungry, and lazily snuggling on the couch—these seem like a fantastic dream to most parents. If only, for one weekend, they could have the luxury of being childless again. It isn’t that parents regret having children or don’t love their kids; it’s just that being a parent is the most tiring, most completely exhausting thing on the planet. Seriously!
The funny thing is that so many people today complain about being tired. Your co-worker comes into work on a Monday morning moaning and groaning about how tired they are because they went to a bar and watched Sunday night football. Your neighbor has been burning the midnight oil to finish a large project and complains about being exhausted. Your college student friend is whining that they just don’t get enough sleep. Compared to the world of parenthood, these kinds of tired are a breeze. These people always have the next day—or the next weekend—to make up for their lost sleep. These tired folks don’t have to go home exhausted and then turn on the charm for a house full of toddlers who expect to be read to, fed dinner, and bathed in true Disney fashion.
The Never-Ending Exhaustion of Parenthood
Bottom line: If you think you’re tired now, just wait until you have children. Then, and only then, can you really talk about being tired.
Parents are the most tired group of people in the world. Why? Because being a parent is a never-ending bout of exhaustion. And no matter how tired a parent is, there is always something else that needs to be done. You don’t find parents lying around on the weekends trying to make up for lost sleep. Why, you ask? Because they’ve probably been woken up by a chorus of demanding children jumping on their bed, poking their fingers in mom and dad’s eyeballs, and pulling their toe hairs. Seriously! When children wake up in the morning, they’re ready to go. They have no inclination to be quiet or sneak around the house. Instead, they’re like an alarm clock you never knew existed—one that could definitely be used in some sort of ancient torture chamber.
Then, once they’re out of bed, come the demands: “Fix me this!” “I’m hungry!” “I want to play!” “I’m bored!” “I want to watch my shows!” “I need to poop!” “Come wipe my butt!” Blah, blah, blah. Those days of waking up and relaxing, having sex, and maybe rolling over to half-watch a movie in bed on a comfortable Sunday morning? Over.
Plus, a parent’s life has no time off. Most people have a “quitting time,” but for parents, there’s no such thing. Instead, they’re required to quickly and effortlessly switch hats from being a working parent to… well, a working parent. But trust us, if you think your adult boss is bad, you should try working for a motor-mouthed 5-year-old who wants to build sixteen Lego towers just so he can knock them down over and over again. (And you thought your day job was tiring?) This pint-sized boss will not allow you to just veg out on the couch, watch a talk show, or be happy with Chinese takeout for dinner.
Another aspect of “tired” that you never truly understand until you become a parent is the “up all night, but not really” way a parent operates. See, when you have kids in the house, there’s no such thing as a sound sleep. Every little sound is amplified 1000%. You also know that at any given moment, you could be sharing your pillows and having your blanket stolen by a child who had a bad dream. Plus, there are those midnight feedings, which always seem to hit the moment you enter your first minute of REM sleep, making it nearly impossible to go back to sleep. And if you think sharing your bed with a dog or a spouse who snores is bad, imagine sharing it with a child who kicks you in the ribs, slaps you in the face, and wiggles around all night long. And, as stated before, there’s no time to make up for this lack of slumber.
Parenthood is the most sleep-depriving profession in the world. It starts with infancy, colic, and babies who can’t tell day from night—and it ends with teenagers sneaking out of windows or returning late from curfew. From the moment you become a parent (and this starts with pregnancy for women), you become more tired than you ever thought possible. “Tired” becomes not just a feeling but a way of life. Tired becomes your best friend and your worst enemy. If you were to ask any parent alive today what they would love to do if they didn’t have children, likely 90% would choose sleep over sex any day of the week. And for those who choose sex, they’ll probably find they’re too tired for that as well.
If you think you’re tired right now, just wait…until you have kids.
