At some point in life the moment comes when we realize that we are no longer invincible. The older we get, the more responsibilities and children we have – the more it becomes natural to worry about your own well being and life. Things that before would have seemed like insignificant events that risked your life are now looked at as tragic displays of selfishness which you would never any longer consider. Many parents become fearful of traveling together and it is commonplace for parents to fly on separate airlines for a vacation just in case the unthinkable were to happen. At least this way, the children would still have one parent.
It also is not uncommon for every wife to at some point wonder what if their husband died tomorrow. Where would they be, what would they do, what sort of obstacles besides the obvious would they be forced to hurdle. What about the children, money, burial expenses. Would they lose their home or car and who would be around to help them take care of things? How would they manage simple things like getting multiple children to two different places at the exact same time? For most, just the mere thought of losing a spouse, parent and partner can make you shutter – but realistically it is something that should be considered and discussed.
If your husband died tomorrow; would you be prepared? Truly nothing can prepare anyone for a loss like this and no one is really sure how they would handle things until they are faced with a situation. But there are many things that we can do ahead of time to ensure that even if we are emotionally unequipped after the death of a spouse, that life still moves forward. For one thing, life insurance! It is fairly inexpensive to carry and although many feel like it is just a waste; it is one of the best things you can do to provide for your family in the event that you are not around to do so. If you don’t have it, get it and make sure you have a policy that is affordable and provides enough coverage to see your children through to college and beyond. No, it can’t replace a parent but it can offer life support for the years following.
If you husband died tomorrow; would you be able to pay the bills? Do you know how the financial situation in your home works and are you aware of how much money you have and how to locate it. Is your name on all accounts and are you listed as a beneficiary on things like 401K and stock plans. Check all of this out and make sure that this is in order right away! Dealing with the intricate details of this after wards is often difficult, painful and comes at a point when it is too late to do anything about it. It is wise to share the financial responsibility in the house and it is also wise if both partners are acutely aware of what gets paid when and how. By not knowing you leave your self open to months worth of trying to figure out a puzzle without having all the pieces of knowledge you need. If you don’t know, ask and it is wise to keep all information in a central location in the home so that they can all be easily accessed by either spouse at any time.
If your husband died tomorrow; is there already a will in place so that you don’t have to do any guesswork on behalf of him. No matter how young you are and even if you feel you have nothing to offer or give anyone; a will is an integral part of a family. Wills should be done, notarized and kept on files in the home and with legal personnel so that in the event of a death there are no misunderstandings. A living will is also vital. One day, you could be the one to be in charge of making a life or death decision for your spouse and a living will details their wishes! Many families struggle over issues like this and by drafting a living will that goes over all their hospitalization, resuscitation and other preferences your souse will be allowed control over their destiny. It may be hard to think about – but it is absolutely necessary!
So many people in the face of a loss find themselves bombarded with people. They get covered dishes and meals that are sure to last them months. In the beginning they have more help than they know what to do with. Then suddenly, the world goes back to their lives and forgets about yours. Think about your network of friends and family and who will be around to help you and your children. Will they lend financial support as well as emotional? Will they help you to make your life a continuance or will they be forcing you to make radical decisions and changes. Also, realize that a big part of loving your children is allowing them to feel safe with others. So many kids who suffer loss of a parent are unable to move forward because they have no sense of trust in anyone else in this world. The parents have done everything, been everything and never allowed others to help in any ways – so the kids are completely dependant upon those people. Make sure your children learn that family members and friends are safe havens and realize that if they feel loved and comfortable in other places besides with you and your spouse; they will have a much easier time healing from this situation.
If your husband died tomorrow; would YOU be able to move on and forward. Would you be ravished with guilt, anger or frustration and is there space in your life to allow you to heal? Mom is often a forgotten victim of a loss and there has to be a place for you to go, people you can turn to that are outside of your families needs. Would you be able to cope, make decisions on your own and use your life before as a guide to how your new life should be? Married or not, man or women – all of us have to be able to stand on our own two feet without being supported by someone else. We can certainly love our spouses but needing them for everything makes it impossible to live without them. Unfortunately, few of us know the destiny of our lives or the turns we will take along the way and this is why it is always important every day to cultivate a life, sense of security and confidence that is all your own! No one wants to think about what they would do if their husband died tomorrow and hopefully it will never happen. But being prepared for the worst in life is no different than carrying car insurance. It is protection. SO many people are blind sided by a sudden car accident or illness that takes their spouse and did nothing to lay the groundwork for what life may be life without them. If this foundation is built out of responsibility and consideration for those in your life that depend on you; you will not have to worry so much about what you would do if your husband died tomorrow. As much as we all feel like it will never happen to us; it happens to unsuspecting people every single day! We can never be too sure or too prepared!
