We’re popping this question to all stock market fanatics: Are you investing in your relationship as much as you’re investing in your portfolio?
Oops. We detect a guilty darting of the eyes—like a “how about we just skip that question?” look. But let’s not skip it, because you might be surprised at the ROI (Return on Investment) you can receive if you diligently, consistently, and faithfully invest in your relationship. Whatever relationship it is—whether marital, man/woman, or just cohabiting friends—there’s investing to be done. By you.
Be lazy with the effort, and the relationship could crash like the Dow Jones or come tumbling down like a house of cards.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “The way to wealth is as plain as the way to market. It depends chiefly on two words: industry and frugality.” He was most likely referring to financial prosperity, but we don’t think his advice will work 100% in the relationships department. It works partially, but not entirely.
What we mean is: “Industry,” one of the two words mentioned by Franklin, will certainly produce results… no doubt. To gain a foothold in a relationship, one has to be industrious. Work hard at your relationships, say the wise ones, because you’ll win love and affection hands down. If you make the effort, your partner will see that you’re not slacking off and that you’re trying to please them as much as you can. A delightful gesture, a kind word—those things go a long way.
We said Franklin’s advice will partly work—only because we think “frugality,” the second word, could lead to disastrous results for a relationship. In fact, the opposite—generosity—is better. But not in the way you might be thinking. Investing in your relationship need not be star-studded with diamonds or sustained with pricey gifts or gourmet meals in trendy restaurants. Let’s remove all notions of relationship investing as a monetary exercise. You don’t have to be the Magi bearing gifts at the midnight hour. Instead, we’re thinking of generosity in terms of quality time spent with your significant other. If you’re resourceful, you’ll see how easy this is to accomplish.
Investing in Your Relationship: So Many Ways!
Creativity knows no limits.
Here are at least half a dozen ways to invest:
- Email transfers – If you’re tongue-tied when it comes to expressing love, send your beloved an email saying that you appreciated it when they took out the garbage without being asked. Likewise, for the man: tell her she looked absolutely stunning in black.
- Stocks and bonds – Take “stock” of your true sentiments about your beloved and “bond” by saying that you realize you can’t live without them. All these years, you considered yourself emotionally independent, but you admit now you’re wrong. There’s no way on earth you could go on living without your other half. If you say this occasionally, you’ll see eyes sparkle forever!
- Mutual funds – When she blurts out, “Oh, I just loved the way you handled that crisis,” say the feeling is mutual—because you just love the way she makes your heart melt.
- Oil – The petroleum industry may be at an all-time high these days, but we’re not talking about the oil you put in your car. When you oil your relationship, you’re ensuring that the nuts and bolts are in place and that no important parts fall off. The nuts and bolts are your partner’s feelings of affection for you. If you don’t “lubricate” that affection, it can get rusty. You have the option to do damage control by investing in your relationship early in the game!
- Precious metals – If you’ve been well-behaved as a loving partner, your girlfriend or wife would not mind receiving metals of any kind—i.e., jewelry. They don’t have to be precious—they can be costume jewelry, just as long as you don’t grab them off a dollar store rack. The same goes for your boyfriend/husband. If you get him an inexpensive metal product—like a joystick, a stack of blank CDs, or some power drills—he’ll put you on a high pedestal.
- Rare commodities – They say chivalry is dead these days. Because it’s so rarely practiced, it qualifies as a rare commodity. Be gallant and chivalrous to your partner, and see how much ROI you’ll receive in return!
Do you know how rare a home-cooked meal is these days, especially when the wife is out working and has a high-pressure job? You’ve grown accustomed to frozen pizzas, frozen peas, and canned meat. But if your wife surprises you one evening with a home-cooked meal—even if there’s no occasion like a birthday or anniversary—she’s investing in your relationship. She realizes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so she checked out of the office early to check in on you.
Why Investing in Your Relationship is Smart
Another question we’d like to pop: Would you really enjoy looking for a new love interest every time the relationship comes to an end because no investments have been made? Wouldn’t it be better to invest in an existing relationship than to go out into smoke-filled bars or pore over profiles offered by online dating services, only to be disappointed after the first date?
If you’re content with your present partner and there are no major issues to resolve, why risk losing the person you truly care about? Sure, there are arguments, and there are always things to be scared about, like the future and how it will pan out. But if you’ve found your soul mate, you’re better off investing in your relationship.
Who has the energy to go looking for love, anyway—especially with our helter-skelter routines? Why not enrich the one relationship you have now, instead of taking a long journey to love all over again?
Some Reasons Why Investing in Your Relationship is Smart:
- A shower of dividends – Love begets love, kindness begets kindness. The dividends may be small, but small is better than none. If you’re kind to your girlfriend, she’ll never squirm if you ask her to pick up your shirts from the dry cleaners. She’ll do it gladly. We know several girlfriends who do it out of love and never complain. If you’re kind to your boyfriend, he may agree to repair your car brakes for free. He’s so good with his hands that whatever he touches turns to gold. So be kind, and you’ll get efficient brakes in return. Free.
- Initial investment needs to be supercharged – When you first met each other, you put your best foot forward. Then you went through the “getting to know you” phase. Following that came the “getting to know you and your warts and other unpleasant qualities” phase. How long did that take? Six, twelve, or maybe fifteen months? Today, you’re both comfortable with each other. There’s a certain degree of predictability. You’ve come to accept each other’s weaknesses and strengths. Are you going to let that initial investment fester because you’re not renewing or nurturing it? Prop up your initial investment, or else risk losing it.
- Divorce is out of the question – No matter how many fights you’ve had, you know they won’t lead you to court. You know deep down that what you both invested in the marriage is sacred and solid. Like we said, kindness begets kindness. A kind husband or wife will banish divorce from their minds, even after a major spat, because both of them will rise above pettiness. It’s like the old, reliable advice about physical fitness: it’s better to do shorter but more frequent workouts than one huge workout only during a full moon.
Investing in your relationship is habit-forming. Do it regularly—even in modest quantities—and you’ll be flying to the moon and playing among the stars in no time! Yeah, baby…
