Over the past few decades, the definition of a “perfect family” environment has transformed significantly. When today’s parents were growing up, most lived in two-parent households with one parent staying at home. Statistics from the late 1970s show that approximately 86% of households had a stay-at-home parent. As women increasingly entered the workforce and seeking employment outside the home became more accepted, the trend toward dual-working households has grown yearly. Whenever societal expectations and cultural norms shift, many people question whether these changes are beneficial or detrimental, scrutinizing their choices more intensely.
The question arises: Is one method of raising a family better than another? The answer is not straightforward and varies based on numerous factors unique to each family.
One critical consideration is whether a family can afford to have only one parent working. In today’s economic climate, many families rely on dual incomes to make ends meet. However, up to 66% of one parent’s salary can be consumed by childcare costs. Families must carefully assess their financial situation before deciding. Some find that having one parent stay home eliminates childcare expenses, allowing better financial balance and more discretionary income. Conversely, two professionals with substantial salaries may find childcare costs consume far less than 66%, especially once children enter public school, and their combined income enables a higher quality of life.
Author Eric Edelman, in his book The Truth About Money, advises parents to consider factors beyond immediate finances in dual-working households. Job security and professional success are significant. Stay-at-home parents often struggle to re-enter the workforce at their previous salary or position, making continuous employment a way to protect one’s career. This is particularly relevant in specialized industries or for those with advanced education. Health insurance is another concern—medical costs are high, and many couples rely on one employer’s plan, which may be free or more affordable. Long-term, dual-working households may enjoy more comfortable retirements. These considerations require careful evaluation.
Balancing Personal Fulfillment and Family Needs
Parents should also reflect on their personality and preferences before choosing to stay home. Having children doesn’t guarantee comfort in full-time domestic life. Today, men and women are encouraged from a young age to pursue professional and personal goals beyond raising a family. Statistics show that both genders successfully balance careers and parenting. A New York Times study, conducted by two University of California economists, found that dual-working parents today spend more time with their children than in 1967. Before 1995, mothers averaged about 12 hours per week on childcare; by 2007, this rose to 15.9–21.2 hours per week, even among working parents.
This shift reflects a more equitable lifestyle, where married couples share home and family responsibilities equally. Modern parents prioritize quality time with their children over quantity. Conversely, many stay-at-home parents—both mothers and fathers—view raising children as a unique, fleeting opportunity. They believe the financial compromises are worthwhile for the time spent with their kids. Recent child development studies suggest that a parent’s working status has little impact on children’s developmental outcomes.
This finding speaks volumes: committed parents, whether both working or one staying home, can raise happy, well-adjusted children. If parents feel strongly that staying home is essential, their children will thrive. The decision is deeply personal and should align with individual values. While there are many factors to weigh, and the grass may seem greener elsewhere, children’s happiness ultimately depends on having content, fulfilled parents, not on the career path chosen or sacrificed.
Today’s children benefit from seeing parents collaborate for the greater good, beyond traditional gender roles. Trends highlight this shift: in 2010, 57% of college freshmen were female, and women earn about half of all U.S. degrees annually—a significant increase from a decade earlier. As women increasingly embrace their potential as both mothers and professionals, equipped with tools to succeed in both roles, future families may be better positioned than ever before. As long as you’re satisfied with your decisions, you’re raising your children in the best way you know how.
