Every couple experiences moments of disconnection.
Time constraints, familial responsibilities, and work-related issues can all take a toll on a relationship, and occasionally, problems arise. A strong couple, however, will face these challenges head-on—by communicating openly, addressing concerns, and ensuring that these disconnects don’t become a permanent issue.
But how do you know when your marriage is in real trouble? Many people assume that marriages end in dramatic explosions—affairs, screaming matches, and threats. In reality, most marriages suffer from a gradual drifting apart, where the partners no longer know how to reconnect.
Signs Your Relationship May Be in Trouble
Are you complaining more to your partner, or about him to your friends? Negative comments—whether intentional or not—are often an early sign of trouble. Whether directed at him or just shared with friends, negativity breeds more negativity. Instead, focus on making positive remarks. Compliment him when he looks good, and share his positive qualities with others.
Communication is key
This is true in any relationship—whether it’s marriage, family, friendships, or even with your pets. Without open communication, it’s impossible for either person to fully understand what the other is thinking or feeling. Withholding information can be deadly to a marriage. Think back to when you first met: Remember how you shared all your dreams, feelings, and secrets? He did the same, and you could spend hours talking, truly listening to each other. What happened to that connection, and how can you rekindle it?
Time is critical to any relationship. Healthy couples make time for each other. While special nights out or romantic weekends away are wonderful, they aren’t always realistic. So, what about spending just a few minutes before dinner relaxing over a glass of wine and talking about your day? Alternatively, you could make dinner together if time is tight. Even fifteen minutes a day can bring couples closer, as long as the communication remains open and positive. Too often, couples put everything else ahead of their relationship—careers, kids, family, exercise, school—but your relationship should be a priority. Like anything worthwhile, it takes effort.
Quality time doesn’t have to be expensive
When you can find the time for an evening out, make it special—but special doesn’t necessarily mean expensive. For some couples, simply getting out of the house without the kids or other distractions is enough. Sometimes, a drive, a walk, or even a visit to a local coffee shop can be just what you need to reconnect. The goal is to talk, hold hands, and remind each other that you’re still a couple.
Physical touch is vital
Touch is an important part of a healthy relationship—and not just the sexual kind. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or caressing can bring two people closer. Think back to when you first met: How long could you go without wanting to touch each other? A few minutes? Remember snuggling on the couch while watching TV? Or holding hands on a walk? Do you still do those things today, or has life gotten in the way? If the dogs have taken over your bed, it’s time to push them out of the way and snuggle up with your partner again. When watching TV, sit beside him on the couch instead of across the room. Invite him out for a walk and hold his hand. These small acts of physical touch can help you reconnect.
Trust is everything
Trust is one of the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. You either trust your partner, or you don’t. There is no middle ground. Partial trust isn’t enough to maintain a strong bond. Trust must be earned, and it is a significant gift to give to your partner. Unfortunately, trust is often one of the first things to break when a marriage is struggling. After all, how can you trust someone you barely talk to, spend no time with, and never touch?
The good news is that trust can be rebuilt. If you focus on all the other aspects of your relationship—communication, quality time, physical touch—trust can grow stronger and more unshakeable. Once trust is restored, you’ll know you’re back on solid ground, ready to sail toward calmer seas.
