Helping Children Understand Religious Diversity
How do you explain to your young children why some of their friends don’t celebrate Christmas, Easter, or Halloween? What’s the best way to explain why a classmate cannot put their hands together in prayer or doesn’t celebrate their own birthday? When your child comes home talking about a peer who says there’s no such thing as God or Heaven, or who tells them they’re going to hell for believing in something spiritual, what’s the appropriate response? When it comes to kids, religion, and holidays, mixed messages can leave children with unanswered questions that may make them feel upset or confused.
For example, if your daughter wants to send a Christmas card to a schoolmate who doesn’t share the same beliefs, how do you explain this to a 6- or 7-year-old in a way they can understand? Freedom of religion is a powerful aspect of society, yet children, whether they participate in mainstream religious holidays or not, are simply following their family’s values and upbringing. A young child doesn’t choose to be Muslim, Christian, or Agnostic—they reflect their parents’ beliefs.
Fostering Religious Tolerance in Children
Understanding the beliefs of others is key to religious tolerance. When a child is singled out in a school or group due to their parents’ religious beliefs, it can create a challenging situation for everyone involved. Children are heavily influenced by their parents and upbringing, making religious tolerance at a young age a complex but important goal.
Here are some tips for helping kids understand religious differences and discussing religion, holidays, and beliefs in a way that promotes tolerance and friendship:
- Use age-appropriate language. Kids don’t typically understand labels for religious beliefs. If a classmate doesn’t celebrate Christmas or believe in God, use simple terms. Explain that they have a different way of thinking, much like how kids choose to dress differently. Even if you disagree with another family’s beliefs, avoid negative terms when explaining to your child to prevent confusion and maintain their friendships.
- Introduce your child to various religions. Exposing children to different beliefs is the first step in teaching tolerance. This also allows them to explore and develop their own beliefs as they grow. Research suggests that about half of children raised with one set of religious beliefs adopt different values in adulthood. Exposing them to other religions is a valuable gift that encourages independent thinking.
- Avoid using fear to explain religion. Never teach religion through fear, such as saying, “Mikey is going to hell because he doesn’t believe in Jesus.” Just as you wouldn’t want your child to hear something negative about their beliefs, avoid framing other beliefs negatively to prevent fostering intolerance.
- Use the term “God” broadly. In our society, the word “God” appears everywhere, from currency to the Girl Scout Promise. Your concept of God may differ from another’s, but it remains a shared cultural element. For children, references to “God” are often more about tradition than religion.
- Encourage your child to express their beliefs. If your child wants to send a Christmas card to a Jewish friend, let them. You can explain that their friend doesn’t celebrate Christmas, but don’t discourage your child from showing kindness. If the friend’s parent objects, that’s their choice.
- Embrace curiosity as a learning opportunity. If your child asks about a classmate’s beliefs or religious celebrations, use it as a chance to learn together. Look up information online or find a book to help them understand, reinforcing tolerance through knowledge.
- Include everyone in celebrations. Don’t exclude children with different beliefs from events like an Easter egg hunt or Christmas party based on assumptions about their family’s rules. Let the other parent decide, ensuring no child feels left out unnecessarily.
Every family has its own values and ways of celebrating holidays, and that’s okay. Children shouldn’t bear the burden of religious stress or intolerance. By teaching your child to embrace other religions and separate friendship from beliefs, you help them see the world as a tolerant place. Discussing different religions and cultures empowers children to make informed decisions about their own spirituality as they grow.
