Parenting often means making sacrifices for your child. When this little life enters your world, your personal desires fade in comparison to what you want for them. This is the natural evolution of becoming a parent. Parenting is selfless, and over time, you’ll find yourself giving up more and more. One day, it’s your manicure or a vacation to afford daycare or new clothes. The next, it’s the new car you wanted, replaced by something for your child. Making sacrifices, especially when raising a family on a budget, is essential. However, giving up too much can breed resentment in you and foster entitlement in your child.
It often starts innocently. You cut back to save for college or quit your job to raise your kids the way you envision. Over time, self-sacrifice becomes routine, done without a second thought. As your child grows, they may begin to expect everything they want, asking incessantly and showing little gratitude when they get it. This isn’t because they’re ungrateful—it’s because you’ve taught them their wants and needs outweigh yours. Parents must understand that constant sacrifices won’t win them accolades and can cause more harm than good.
Balancing Sacrifices with Self-Care
Some sacrifices are worthwhile. You’ll want to start saving for college and plan for your child’s future needs. If one parent stays home, budget adjustments are necessary. However, taking care of yourself shouldn’t break the bank or leave your child without essentials. Picture a parent shopping with their child, trying on a pair of jeans they love, only to put them back and buy a mega monster squirt gun instead. Two weeks later, that squirt gun is broken, lost, or forgotten, and the child’s already onto the next want. This teaches the wrong lesson. Kids need to learn that their parents’ needs matter too.
The best-dressed kids in any middle school often have a mom in worn-out flip-flops who hasn’t bought a new bra in a decade. Her roots need touching up, and her wardrobe consists of school fundraising t-shirts and old jeans. Dad likely skips golf and hasn’t had a proper barbershop haircut in years. These parents prioritize dance lessons, instrument rentals, designer clothes, trendy lunchbox snacks, silly bands, and new backpacks over their own needs. On the outside, they may say they don’t mind, but inside, they feel that constant sacrifice makes adulthood far less enjoyable.
Raising children requires common sense and stretching your dollars, but it doesn’t mean buying a bigger house or a new minivan just so your kids have their own rooms. You don’t need to move to the trendiest neighborhood or sign them up for expensive travel ball when recreational leagues cost far less. Sacrifices like sharing a room or driving a paid-off car that smells like French fries should involve the whole family, not just one or two members. If kids always get what they want, when and how they want it, they’ll never appreciate your hard work to provide a prosperous life.
Your kids won’t thank you or offer heartfelt words acknowledging your sacrifices—and that’s okay. They shouldn’t have to. But they also shouldn’t see you suffering or going without just to give them their way. This teaches them that you don’t matter and may lead them to repeat the cycle as parents. When children see you taking pride in yourself and prioritizing your needs occasionally, they learn to have a gracious, unselfish heart.
Making sacrifices for your children’s future and well-being is part of the parental job. However, these sacrifices, rooted in love and commitment, shouldn’t focus solely on material things or one-sided expectations. Your child should learn that the family works together to solve problems and plan for the future. Perhaps today, it’s Mom’s turn to buy a new dress, and the kids should beam with pride at how beautiful she looks. Parents shouldn’t feel guilty about occasionally prioritizing themselves, even if it means their child waits longer for the latest trendy shoes. When parenting well, kids will understand that Mom and Dad are important too and deserve occasional indulgences. They’ll also appreciate the sacrifices you make and may even make sacrifices themselves to help out. Seeing this come to fruition is a deeply rewarding milestone in a parent’s life.
