We live in an “entitled” society. Gone are the days of working for what you have. Earning a reward seems to be a foreign concept in a world where people often don’t understand the word “no.”
Perhaps as a reaction to a generation struggling with low self-esteem, educators wrestled with how to uplift kids who seemed determined to find only the negative in themselves. As often happens with well-intended efforts, the attempt to create an environment where no one felt singled out, unwanted, or incompetent swung too far in the opposite direction. Instead, we ended up with children and teenagers who felt empowered to do and be anything. While empowerment is important for everyone, the unfortunate reality is that, no, you cannot be anything you want to be.
No, You Can’t Be Anything You Want to Be
We were all created with unique talents and skill sets for a reason. Not everyone has the tenacity and grace under pressure to be a doctor. This does not make them any less important than someone who wants to be a housewife and mother, a hairstylist, or a plumber. All jobs are equal, valuable, and necessary for society to function at its highest level. But the reality is, no, you cannot be anything you want to be. You have limitations. We all do.
It’s a fine line between encouraging a generation to strive for their potential and crushing their spirit. Sometimes our ambitions lie further than our talents. Is it kinder to allow someone to believe they can become something when they lack what it takes to succeed? The unfortunate truth is that if we permit someone to pursue a dream they lack the competence to achieve, life will teach them a far crueler lesson in the end. Are we doing any favors for a young generation trying to find their way in this world?
The world can be as unforgiving as a tomb. No one hands you a trophy for getting out of bed or showing up to work on time. Accolades are hard-fought and earned. Though our methods of raising children to be productive members of society may have changed, the working world has not. It is still merit- and ability-based. If these lessons are not learned in elementary and high school, when will they be? Will the delay until the stakes are much higher be far more painful in the end?
No, there isn’t a trophy just for showing up. By removing standard benchmarks through which to measure progress and achievement, we inadvertently create a generation of children who lack the solid educational foundation to learn and thrive. We value their feelings above their learning. This is a fatal error that has led to an epidemic increase in illiteracy. Students graduate from school due to a system that pushes them through regardless of academic progress, only to find that they are not equipped to work any job, let alone function independently in society. Many lack even the most basic skills.
Moreover, our current educational system leads children to believe that regardless of how large or small their efforts may be, they will all receive the same reward. Ultimately, this results in a generation of young people who feel that life owes them something, and that they don’t need to do a blessed thing to deserve it. By virtue of being alive, they believe society is in their debt. Cultivating this attitude in our young people does them a great disservice. Life will not hand them a trophy for fulfilling their basic responsibilities. There is no reward for doing what is expected of you. Prizes come when you exceed expectations; meeting them is required, not rewarded.
5 Common Problems
A sense of entitlement creates a host of problems that, once established, are almost impossible to eradicate. Among the issues we see today are:
It’s all about me.
While a merit-based system can cause some children to feel as though they are living in a hierarchy, removing this type of standard measurement encourages a form of dark individuality known as narcissism. People become insular, believing that their needs are more important than the needs of others, leading to a degeneration of social graces. It results in the death of courtesy as each person battles for their self-proclaimed rightful space as the heir to all they desire.
I own it all.
People who feel entitled often lack respect for the belongings of others. They seem to have no sense of what things cost or what their responsibility is if they take or ruin something that belongs to someone else. Worst of all, they sometimes feel no guilt when their inconsiderateness inconveniences a friend, loved one, or fellow student.
I am special.
The truth is that every person is special, loved, and unique. However, no one is more special than anyone else. The problem arises when individuals compare themselves to others and appoint themselves to a superior position. Instead of being satisfied with equality, they seek to be in an elite category of their own. This is faulty thinking and is both condescending and dangerous.
It’s never my fault.
A sense of entitlement leads people to believe they are never at fault for anything. If something goes wrong, the blame clearly lies with someone else, making an apology unthinkable. This behavior results in broken relationships and an inability to genuinely connect with others. The end result is a sad, lonely existence, as interpersonal skills are stunted and eventually wither away.
I am a victim.
Lack of accountability is a significant problem in society today. Instead of accepting their own role in the issues they face, it becomes easier for people to say that things happened to them beyond their control. This removes them from the position of architects of their own demise. Playing the victim is much more attractive than admitting one is suffering the consequences of their own foolish decisions.
No, you do not get a trophy just for showing up. But there is great reward in a hard day’s work. Today’s educational system is broken and in need of reform to help our children reach their greatest potential. We cannot fix the world, but we can play a role in fostering change by investing in our own children and the children we know and love. By working with one child at a time, you can help influence the next generation for good.
