It is a beautiful night on a sandy beach. You are vacationing with friends and the night before you leave, you meet him or her. You may not be sure if it is the margarita or the essence of vacation that makes you feel so carefree and excited. Either way, it doesn’t matter and the result is a one night stand that may live on in your memory forever. This memory can be laden with guilt or one that causes you to form that quizzical smile of mischief for you and you alone to remember. The question of course is, are they right? Is a one-night stand morally acceptable? Should you even think about or engage in a one-night stand? By all aspects of raising, the answer is affirmatively no. One-night stands are wrong, bad for the soul and can lead to nothing but horrific trouble and promiscuity that will plague your self-respect for a lifetime. Still and interestingly enough – more people have had them than have not. Chances are, the regret ratio may lie in the 50-50 range.
While it isn’t considered acceptable on many levels to actively seek out one-night stands and one night stands only, the truth is they do happen. Humans by sheer nature are creatures of chemistry and energy – both of which can have a higher power than upbringing and morality. People who ONLY have one-night stands probably need to see a psychologist and work out their issues, but those who have had the blissful encounters with the opposite sex without expectations can affirm that sometimes, they are the perfect mix of passion that keeps life exciting. Obviously, a one night stand can include a romantic night that includes amazing sex or can be a fleeting moment with a stranger dancing way too close in a bar and kissing them passionately good night without every asking their name. What decides if they are right or wrong is a mixture of your intentions, your honesty and the way YOU feel about YOU after it is over.
Kenny Chesney sings about a one night stand. In his song, he says, “we both said I love you but knew it wasn’t true!” In that moment however, the passion you feel may seem like love. Since it is close enough, perhaps the words meaning long term is a lie – but in the moment, they are truth. In fact, one of the good things about a one night stand is that for that brief bit of time you are with someone who has no expectations of you. You are with someone who will not judge you, will not be angry with you and who is acting out of the strength and truth of raw human emotion. For someone to say that this emotion is wrong is impossible. Yes, it may stretch the lines of sexual encounters and there can be consequences. But for two people with matching intentions and integrity that includes protection and honesty – the experience can mold many aspects of your life.
Most people have had relationships that included only one element of attraction. You might love the sexual chemistry with your significant other but find you have nothing to talk to them about. On the flip side, you may find your partner to be your best friend but not feel enlightened when it comes to the physical relationship. For lots of people, they settle with whichever is more important and hope that the latter will develop. With a one-night stand, there is no settling and no deal breaker. There is no threat of a break-up or feelings of heartbreak. At least if you are being honest. For a one night stand to work, both people have to be explicit about their intentions. There are some men and women in this world, who may not believe in one – night stands and who at the receiving end of being one, can literally destroy their self worth. At the same time, one of the key elements to a one-night stand is the lack of deep and personal communication. Don’t misunderstand, some one night stands involve one night with a stranger who may feel in that moment as your soul mate even without sexual chemistry. However, this one night – doesn’t become the bank with which you deposit your emotional future.
There are many people who will look down at those who had a one-night stand. This is just one of the reasons that so many people conceal them. Obviously, if you are already in a relationship and seek out one night stands than you have broken the rule of intention and honesty. Yet, for those single people who are living on the cusp of finding a soul mate, a one-night stand peppered through your dating history can help you to develop what you really want in a partner. You have to be safe in this world of sexual diseases. You also have to ensure that you aren’t deceiving your self or the other person. And before you embark on one, you also have to have a greater understanding of who you are as a person. If you can have the one night stand, let it file in your list of experiences and moments and remain flexible to let it go, enjoying it for what it was worth – than by all means, don’t hold back. However, if you are caught morally about the impact of a one-night stand and will live in personal distress, it is best to avoid situations like this. One thing is for sure. Very few people who have one-night stands, plan to do so. It is this fly by the seat of your pants sense of adventure and exploration that can help you figure out who you are, what you want, and where the future takes you. Certainly, they shouldn’t become habitual – however in this situation it is simply smart to hold onto the notion that you should say never.
