Understanding Parenting Styles
Most parents believe their child outshines others and view their parenting style as the ideal approach, rarely finding fault in it or being open to change. While parenting techniques vary widely, they generally fall into four distinct styles: Alpha Male Parents, Best Buddy Parents, Push ‘em for Their Own Good Parents, and Who’s the Parent Here Parents. Each parent’s methods are shaped by their personality, relationship with their spouse, and their own upbringing, transforming “parent” into an active verb rather than just a noun.
The Four Parenting Styles
Alpha Male Parents
Alpha Male Parents adopt a “do as I say, not as I do” approach, asserting absolute authority with no room for negotiation. They expect strict compliance, often resorting to humiliation to enforce submission. This rigid, intolerant style can stifle a child’s ability to make decisions or express themselves, fostering feelings of inferiority and inward withdrawal. Some view this as disciplined parenting that teaches respect, but it may produce children who struggle with autonomy. Often, these parents replicate their own strict upbringings, believing it shaped their success.
Best Buddy Parents
Best Buddy Parents are easily recognizable by their indulgent nature, constantly catering to their child’s every whim. Some may even mimic their child’s style, like wearing low-cut jeans and graphic tees to seem “cool.” These parents, often motivated by guilt from their own unhappy childhoods or recent divorces, prioritize being liked over setting boundaries. Their children may amass friends due to their possessions but often lack respect for others, acting entitled and avoiding consequences. These kids may squander opportunities, like partying through college, leaving parents to cover the costs. Best Buddy Parents typically receive little respect from their children until much later in life.
Balancing Structure and Freedom
Push ‘em for Their Own Good Parents
These parents are the intense sideline coaches, shouting at their children during games, rarely offering praise but quick to critique. They prioritize achievement, often driven by their own unfulfilled ambitions, pushing their kids into packed schedules of school, extracurriculars, and chores. They believe constant activity prepares children for life, but this approach can rob kids of downtime to simply play or relax. These parents often blend Alpha Male tendencies, grappling with control issues and a fear of failure they project onto their children, setting unattainable standards that leave kids perpetually dissatisfied.
Who’s the Parent Here Parents
This style is characterized by a lack of parenting. Some are free-spirited “leftover hippies,” while others are overwhelmed single parents whose children end up taking charge. These kids handle household duties, console their parents through personal struggles, and often spend time alone, rarely hosting friends. They may seek guidance from other adults to fill the parental void. While some of these parents are otherwise admirable, they often prioritize personal interests over parenting, leaving children to navigate life independently.
If you recognized yourself in these descriptions, you’re not alone. Parenting is challenging, and it’s natural to reflect the habits of our own upbringing or let our flaws surface. The best parenting style balances elements of all these approaches, respecting your child’s unique personality while fulfilling essential parental responsibilities. Your style shapes communication with your child, and the good news is, if it’s not working, you can change it at any time. Caring enough to reflect on your approach and strive for improvement speaks volumes about your potential for successful parenting.
