Planning a White Wedding

bride looking out at the water

Planning a white wedding—or any type of wedding, for that matter—imposes one cardinal rule: time. When you’re getting married, the last thing you want to do is race against time and end up a total wreck on your wedding day. Plan early. We’ll say it again: plan early.

How early? Ideally, 12 months. But we know what can happen in 12 months, right? For example, lovers may fight and decide to call the wedding off. Or, halfway through the planning stage, the couple may realize that it’s better to put a larger portion of the wedding budget toward a down payment for a house. As a result, they scale back on the wedding ceremony: less grandeur, fewer invitees, and a smaller wedding cake.

To take advantage of the best of everything—parish and pastor, location, hotel, limo, cake, and wedding favors, travel arrangements—aim for 3 to 6 months of planning. At least this way, you have room to maneuver if things don’t go according to plan. Invitations could get delayed, flights could be booked during peak season, and professional wedding planners may become a disappearing breed during the height of wedding mania.

Why a White Wedding?

Planning a white wedding means the couple has decided to go traditional. Another reason is that perhaps the bride and groom simply like the color, and it has nothing to do with tradition. Or the bride may want the world to know she has preserved her virginity.

We stumbled upon a funny poem online, and we’ll give you an abbreviated version. It has to do with the color of the dress you pick for your wedding:

‘Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true.’ (author unknown)

The rhyming poem is actually longer, with a few more colors mentioned, but it looks like choosing white puts you in good stead. By having a white wedding with a white dress, you’ll be announcing to the world that you’ve chosen the right person to wed.

But choosing the right person entails doing the right planning as well. A white wedding is unique and carries a special message.

Start with the Participants

If your wedding is traditional, your list of participants should include:

  • Officiating priest or minister – He or she will pronounce the bride and groom as husband and wife and bless them.
  • Best Man and Maid of Honor – The best man should be the groom’s brother, close friend, or someone he can count on for support. The Maid of Honor can be the bride’s sister, close university friend, childhood friend, or cousin—someone the bride turns to for moral and logistical support.
  • Father of the Bride – A very traditional and common figure in church ceremonies, the bride’s father typically walks her down the aisle to give her away to her future husband.
  • Groomsmen and Bridesmaids – There can be one or several groomsmen or bridesmaids who are there to support the couple.
  • Flower Girl – The flower girl (or girls) will spread petals down the aisle in the church.
  • Ring Bearer – Traditionally, the young boy who carries the wedding rings, usually on a satin cushion, as he walks down the aisle.

During the church ceremony, the groom and his best man will position themselves near the front of the altar to wait for the bride and her entourage.

Ushers will escort the parents and grandparents of both the bride and groom to their proper places—usually, the front pews are reserved for close family members or the bridal party. Booklets and prayer books are distributed to church attendees. When the bride arrives with her party, she is escorted to the altar by her father, and the official ceremony begins. It can last anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half. After the priest concludes the ceremony and gives his blessing, the bride and groom go to a special wing of the church to sign the marriage register. Not signing the register means no marriage has taken place.

The Reception

This is when a white wedding can get tricky, especially concerning the bride’s white dress. Since there will be food and drink, the bride has to be extra careful to avoid stains on her dress.

Toasts are a traditional part of a white wedding (as in other types of weddings). The toasts can be solemn or humorous, depending on what the bride and groom want.

The cutting of the cake by both the groom and bride takes place during the reception. Almost always, there is music, and guests are expected to dance after the meal. The first dance is usually between the father and the bride, and then, as part of the symbolic “giving away of the bride,” the groom steps in and dances with his bride.

Things That Go Into Planning a White Wedding

Given that the white dress will generate a lot of attention and conversation, decide if you want one off the rack or a custom-made gown. Just remember the cost difference between made-to-order dresses and off-the-rack ones. Choose your lace and taffeta carefully, ensuring they reflect your personality.

Make sure the dress is comfortable (you’ll be wearing it for at least five hours) and that it isn’t too tight or restrictive when you start mingling with guests and dancing during the reception.

Next, decide on your budget. Don’t spend beyond your means. You don’t want to have your first child and still be paying off wedding debts. If your parents offer financial help, accept it graciously, but don’t expect them to spend an enormous amount on your wedding.

Create a TO-DO list with specific timeframes and assign responsibilities for each task. This way, you won’t miss any important details. When finalizing arrangements with providers—such as the hotel, limo, band, flowers, invitations, favors, cake, photographer, and videographer—get everything in writing and shop around. This need to shop around justifies the 3-6 month planning period we referred to earlier.

One thing couples often overlook are the unexpected expenses that arise. These last-minute details can inflate your wedding budget, so if you have financial constraints, shop around until you find the most reasonable deals.

Final note: since white is a very delicate color, brides can also choose beige, off-white, or ivory for their wedding gown.

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