You’re pregnant (congratulations!), not feeling your best, a little swollen, somewhat emotional, and maybe even a bit nauseated. Someone calls and wants to stop by, or your sister asks if you can help her pick out an outfit for an upcoming wedding. You don’t want company, and the last thing you want to do is waddle around the mall helping your svelte sister pick out a hot dress. So—you play the pregnancy card. You say you’re not feeling up to it, you’re too tired, your feet are swollen, or you need to lie down.
Same goes for sex. Your partner wants it, but you’re just not in the mood—because you’re pregnant. Or maybe you decide to eat a second bowl of ice cream because, hey, you’re pregnant… so why not?
The reality is, the pregnancy card does exist. And while pregnancy is not a medical illness or condition, there are certainly some valid reasons to take it easy. Everyone around you will coddle you while you’re pregnant (only to forget about you once you push that baby out), and for a brief window of time, you can pretty much get away with murder. You can snap at your boss, cut in line, or get others to do things you’d normally do yourself. People will even encourage you to rest and relax while you can—because those days are numbered once the baby arrives.
The question is: Is this wrong? Is it bad to capitalize on the fact that you’re doing something amazing—growing a human? It’s not like you have a cold or a cough. You’re creating life, and you’ve earned the right to make a few excuses and opt out of things you’d rather avoid. Right? Right.
Pregnancy Privileges: Use Them While You Can
Let’s face it: People are treating you differently. And that extra attention—the feeling that everyone sees you as a delicate piece of fine china—isn’t necessarily a bad thing. So why not lean into it a little?
That is, of course, until you hear about the superwoman who’s eight months pregnant and running marathons, juggling four kids, and leading Habitat for Humanity projects. Suddenly, people might start to wonder why it’s so hard for you to get off the couch and make yourself a sandwich. (Which is exactly why it’s best to avoid exposure to those high-functioning, glowingly radiant, mega-achiever pregnant women. Protect your peace.)
As pregnancy progresses, the pregnancy card becomes even more useful. You’ll find yourself doing things that would normally have people shouting, “Off with her head!”—only to be met with sympathetic smiles and gentle pats on the back. They’re too afraid to upset the hormonal goddess that you’ve become.
Sure, no one really supports crying as a form of manipulation, but let’s be honest—pregnant women cry. A lot. Want a new pair of shoes? Need the grass cut? Feel like going to bed at 8 p.m. even though your other kids still need to be bathed? No problem. You’re growing a human, and for now, that gives you carte blanche to do what you need (or want) to do.
But let’s be clear: This is temporary. You’re not disabled. Once the baby arrives, the pregnancy card expires. People may stop being so considerate. In fact, they might even remind you of all the things they did for you during your pregnancy. Unless you’re willing to let every single person baby-sit your newborn, you may notice a swift and drastic shift in how much attention you receive.
Some may even resent how hormonal or difficult you were during your pregnancy. And be warned—if you overuse the pregnancy card, it might just be the last time anyone wants to go down that road with you. For some men, pregnancy is terrifying. Seeing their partner turn into a sleep-deprived, estrogen-fueled mystery can be enough to have them sleeping with one eye open.
The truth is, pregnancy is a special time. And yes, you can get away with almost anything. You can blame mood swings, meltdowns, and diva moments on your hormones, and no one will question it. So if you must pull the pregnancy card to get out of trekking down to the mailroom, then go for it.
But just know—when it’s over, it’s over. Even if you’re sitting on a donut for weeks or leaking milk from nipples you didn’t even know you had, the special treatment will now shift to your baby. That bundle of joy will now be the center of the universe, and your brief moment of royal treatment will become a distant memory.
(And let’s keep this our little secret, okay?)
Just because your doctor says it’s okay to continue running during pregnancy doesn’t mean you have to do it. Sometimes, it’s okay to lie down, eat the cookie, and say, “No thanks—I’m pregnant.”
