Professor's House

Post Wedding to do List

So the last of the ribbons have fallen from the wedding gifts, the duplicate red blender has been returned and you have just settled in from your honeymoon . . . what now?

After your wedding is over you begin to realize . . . there was a lot more than three tier cakes and beaded satin dresses to this marriage preparation thing. Now you have things on your to do list like ‘changing name after marriage‘, ‘thank Aunt Rita for the toaster’ and ‘speak to the photography manager about botched pics’.

From the legal stuff to the small stuff . . . don’t sweat a thing. Simply read on to find out what you need to do to tie the loose ends and start enjoying your life now.

Changing Name after Marriage

While there are quite a few modern women who are opting to keep their maiden names, most will still keep with tradition and take on the name of their husband and his family. Though some, who can’t quite decide which they would like to do, choose to hyphenate their names instead.

But in order to complete a name change after marriage, either taking his name or hyphenating yours, you will need to take your marriage license, driver’s id and social security card to your local social security office. They will be able to not only provide you with a name change but with a new social security card to prove it.

Bear in mind you will not get this right away. It takes several weeks to receive the new copy. Please also note this is something you cannot do online. Although many government programs are allowing this now, social security is still very careful with all the recent year’s cases of identity theft.

Thank You Card Etiquette

When it comes to tying up the loose ends of the wedding after the honeymoon . . . perhaps the most thought about is the thank you card. How late is too late to send a thank you? What if you forget what they bought you? What do you say?

Proper etiquette for saying ‘thanks’ is within two weeks . . . however, it is NEVER too late to say thanks. If you send out a note late simply say that you have been so wrapped up in being in love and that their gift has helped make that possible. For instance, if the guest brought you a griddle, you could say that the quick cook time helped you to have more time to talk in the mornings before work.

While it makes it a lot easier and more personal to keep a list of items received, if you have forgotten what the guest gave you, you should be able to find a way around that with a few simple yet meaningful words such as ‘Thank you for the thoughtful gift. It means so much to us and so does your friendship.’

Problems with Photographs and Photographers

One of the most common issues that occur post wedding are those that include photographs. Many people return from their wedding to pick up their photographs to find that their photographer hasn’t supplied the photos they asked for.

If this is your instance, remember that you are the client. While you may be disappointed try to remain neutral until you have a chance to speak with the photographer. Remember kindness goes far and a kind word could be all the difference in getting your way and getting nothing but a hefty bill and nothing to show for it. At this point, it is what it is but you may be able to get a discount or if the situation is extremely difficult or a breach of contract has occurred you can consider small claims court though often it’s the principal and not the cash reward because often the settlement will be less than your court costs.

No matter what the outcome, don’t become discouraged. Send out a letter to family and friends requesting that if they have any photos of the wedding that they share them with you. These shots are often the most precious and still give you keepsakes to look forward to seeing. If you are yet to get married and are simply looking ahead before you plan . . . ask guests to bring their cameras and pay to have their film developed. Most everyone will be happy to do this.

When it comes to getting married, there are a lot of little things to be done but we hope that this information at least helped you check ‘changing name after marriage’, ‘thanking Uncle Dan’ and ‘getting better pictures’ off your list. In any regard . . . may your life be long and your love be forever . . . but most of all, may the joy you share always be found in the details.

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