Just when you think you can put the diapers and wipes up for good, your child starts wetting the bed or peeing their pants all over again. As if potty training wasn’t hard enough on the parental nerve system, now you have to deal with potty training regression.
Understanding Potty Training Regression
Essentially, regression is a normal part of raising children. Just like a 5-year-old who may speak fluently for their age will suddenly start babbling like a baby, a toddler a few months out of diapers may start regressing back to having potty accidents. Regression, according to experts, happens for a million and one reasons. Most often, potty training regression occurs when a toddler faces a new situation in their life that may be causing stress. Sometimes, it is completely unrelated to their ability to use the bathroom.
For instance, a 2 or 3-year-old starting preschool may suddenly begin having accidents at school or during the night. This could be because the potty routine at school is completely different from the one at home. If this is the case with your child, ask them about the bathroom at school—how many times they are allowed to use it, if they’re afraid of the bathroom, if they can reach the toilet paper, or if they feel comfortable asking the teacher to use the restroom. Your child could simply be holding it out of insecurity about the new surroundings. Talking to them can help you figure out what’s bothering them and allow you both to come up with a viable solution.
Alternatively, potty training regression could be caused by stress and anxiety about starting school and being away from mom and dad—commonly referred to as separation anxiety. Some toddlers who aren’t ready to leave their parents may regress in the hope of staying home. This is especially true if the child has heard a parent or adult mention that the school only accepts children who are potty trained.
Another obvious reason for regression is a big change to the family dynamic. It’s very common for a child to have potty training regression weeks, months, or even years after being fully trained when a new baby joins the family. This is their way of showing mom and dad that they still need love and attention too. The same is true for any significant changes to the family dynamic. The regression can be a way for children to feel as if they have some control over the situation and the people involved.
Some children start regressing simply because they ‘ignore’ the signals that they need to use the bathroom. They might be so busy playing that they forget to go until it’s too late. This is extremely common, especially with boys. No matter how long your child has been potty trained, you should still remind them often that they need to use the bathroom.
Medical problems can also cause regression, although this is less common. If you suspect a medical issue, such as a urinary tract infection, you should seek medical attention.
For parents, these regressions can be frustrating. However, there are a few simple rules to follow when faced with potty training regression.
How to Handle Potty Training Regression
- No negative attention: Don’t talk about it. Don’t ask long, drawn-out questions about why they wet themselves. And, most importantly, don’t punish your child. Simply take a matter-of-fact approach without stressing about it. Remember, to a child, negative attention is just as good as positive attention.
- Praise the ability to stay dry: If you notice your child staying dry, praise them for those moments or the times they went to the potty on their own.
- Empower your child with confidence: It’s easy to get upset or irritated, but it’s your job to remind your child that they can master **[potty training](https://www.professorshouse.com/potty-training-a-child/)** on their own.
- Give frequent reminders: Keep reminding them to use the bathroom regularly.
- Avoid diapers or pull-ups: Some children are simply lazy and don’t care if they’re in a wet or soiled diaper. Diapers absorb most of the discomfort, making potty training regression worse.
- Address family changes: If you’ve had a new addition to the family, make sure your child knows that you can’t wait until the baby is out of diapers. This will help avoid any feelings of needing to ‘act like a baby’ for attention.
The truth is, potty training regression is normal and is definitely NOT the end of the world. After a few weeks, you’ll chalk it up to experience and move on to the next exciting phase of your child’s life. Remember, when it comes to raising children, the rule of thumb is: “this phase too shall pass!”
