Pregnancy Before Marriage – Unplanned Pregnancies

pregnant teenager

Pregnancy before marriage is often considered a destructive social issue, and the U.S. government has stepped in, determined to curtail this troubling phenomenon. The number of births out of wedlock has been gradually decreasing—thanks to government and community efforts—but there are still many teenagers who are becoming pregnant without the benefit of marriage, not only in North America but also in other parts of the world.

The portrayal of pregnancy outside of marriage has been dramatic. When we hear about young women, heavy with child, with no spouse to help raise their future child, our hearts go out to them. It’s like children raising children. It’s not fair for a girl barely out of her teens to be saddled with a child she must care for over the next 18 years. At least we hope she has the necessary resources and support systems to guide her through this stage of her life.

A pregnant teen who is not married also makes us think about the kind of future she will have—how her dreams and career aspirations will have to take a back seat for a few years until her child begins attending school.

Government Contributions

The United States is fortunate in that there are provisions in place to help reduce the incidence of pregnancies outside of marriage. One such measure is the welfare law of 1996. Some of its provisions include:

  • A federal budget of $50 million annually to teach kids abstinence education,
  • Measures to ensure that paternity is established and child support payments are made,
  • Federal measures requiring all 52 states to initiate actions to reduce out-of-wedlock pregnancies, with a special emphasis on teen pregnancies.

The 1996 welfare law contains other provisions aimed at reducing pregnancies outside of marriage. Governmental measures have met with controversy, but the general consensus is that if we know how to achieve these goals regarding births out of wedlock, we are doing the best we can to improve the quality of life for children.

A society relies on individual communities to ensure children are allowed to develop mentally and emotionally so that they grow up to be productive citizens. In turn, communities rely on individual families to ensure that children are properly fed, nurtured, schooled, and coached about life. Part of that education and coaching must include the importance of avoiding pregnancy before marriage.

In October 2001, an article by Isabel V. Sawhill, published on the website of the Brookings Institution’s Social Policy Section, addressed this issue. The Brookings Institution is a prestigious think tank dedicated to addressing the country’s social concerns. Ms. Sawhill wrote, “Almost everyone is in favor of reducing teen pregnancy…teen pregnancy and birthrates have declined during the 1990s, which in turn has contributed to the leveling off of the proportion of all children born to unwed mothers. When Congress reauthorizes the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reform Act in 2002, it should build on this success by providing additional funds for teen pregnancy prevention efforts while maintaining the emphasis on work and child support enforcement.”

That’s quite a tall order coming from a private citizen. But lest we forget, governments have other issues to tackle as well. Reducing pregnancy outside of marriage must be an individual responsibility, and each family must do its part to protect its offspring.

Pregnancy Before Marriage: Teens Explain Why

We’ve heard the same refrain over and over again: it’s not so much that teens want children, but that they often become pregnant outside of marriage. We suspect it has a lot to do with their need for affection, which they may not get at home. By seeking comfort and support elsewhere, they risk misinterpreting affection. Many teens think that by engaging in sexual relations with their boyfriends, they are fulfilling that emotional need.
Not quite. Many wake up the morning after to find their intended beloved is gone.

Okay, so maybe it’s not just about craving love and affection. Perhaps it’s also about the desire to keep up with what’s fashionable and “cool.” Take, for example, a recent news report on Fox featuring a pregnant 14-year-old British girl. She said that the latest trend isn’t the Paris Hilton handbag, but getting “banged up.” This came from a pregnant teenager who claimed that four of her friends are also expecting. Kizzy Neal—that’s her name—told Fox News that her teen friends think babies are cute, but they don’t realize, until it’s too late, that they are giving up their entire lives to care for a child.

It was also reported that in all of Europe, England and Wales have the highest teen pregnancy rates, with the largest growth among girls under 16.

Then there’s the issue of too little control versus too much control—specifically, parental control. Perhaps teens feel suffocated by the well-meaning intrusion into their private lives by their parents. They can’t even surf the internet anymore without their parents’ blockers.

“I felt I was wearing a dog collar around my neck all the time. With Mom and Dad, it was always ‘don’t do this, don’t do that.’ I didn’t think they had a right to prevent me from being happy and hanging out with my boyfriend. One day, it got so bad—the fighting—that I ran away and asked my boyfriend to have sex with me. Just to spite my folks, you know.”

What Happens to Pregnant Teens?

So, what happens to teens who suddenly find themselves pregnant?

The outlook is often grim. Teenagers who get pregnant are less likely to complete their secondary education (only 1/3 graduate from high school). Between 1% and 2% of teenage mothers finish university by age 30. They are also more likely to go on welfare—around 80% of them end up on welfare.

Children born to unwed teenagers typically have lower birth weights and tend to perform poorly academically. They are also at greater risk of abuse and neglect.

It’s no wonder the government is concerned and is taking measures to address this social issue. Studies show that the sons of teenage mothers have a 13% higher chance of ending up in prison, while the daughters of teenage mothers have a 22% higher likelihood of becoming pregnant themselves as teenagers.

Breaking Past the Emotional Barrier

Teenagers who suddenly find out they are pregnant are often gripped with fear and confusion. Matters become worse when the boyfriend they thought was a real gentleman declares he wants nothing to do with her or the child. Oh sure, many young men take responsibility for their actions, but there are also those who would rather walk away. When teenagers face this situation, their first instinct is often to run away, so their parents don’t find out. But this may not be the wisest decision.

One teenager, who got pregnant at 15, felt that it was precisely the time she needed to talk to her mother the most. Before her pregnancy, she had avoided her mother like the plague. Unsure of how her mother would react to the news, she nevertheless felt her mother needed to know. So, she mustered the courage to finally tell her. To her surprise, her mother simply hugged her and said, “We’ll go through this together.”

That teenager is now a happy 32-year-old with four children and a beautiful house in Virginia. She said, “After I told my mother I was pregnant, she didn’t explode with anger like I thought she would. Instead, she held me tightly and said we would go through the pregnancy together. I would never trade my family for all the riches in the world. It just made all the difference to me, and at that moment, I promised myself I would give my child and myself a bright future.”

A lucky teen, wouldn’t you agree?

Share:

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
LinkedIn

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.