The decision to start a family, whether through biological means or adoption, is one of the biggest choices you will ever make. For many people, the process of adopting a child can feel overwhelming. Most families are not fully prepared to adopt a child without making significant changes to their lifestyle.
Do Your Homework
Before you commit to the adoption process, it’s essential to study adoption-related issues and explore the various types of adoption. Doing so will help you determine whether adoption is the right choice for you. While the rewards of adoption are immeasurable, it is also a time-consuming and expensive process, and it may not be suitable for everyone. Educate yourself about the adoption journey by using the wealth of resources available online—from government websites and adoption agency pages to the personal blogs of adoptive parents.
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Check out books from your local library to learn more about the challenges adopted children may face as they grow into young adults. Many adopted children come from difficult circumstances that could affect them later in life as they grow and develop. As a parent, you’ll need to be sensitive to your child’s unique needs.
Share the News with Family
Talk to your extended family members (such as parents, siblings, etc.) about your decision to adopt. Consider how you plan to inform each family member before sharing the news. Announce your decision in a way that highlights their importance as potential grandparents, aunts, or uncles.
Educate your family about the adoption process and what they can expect in the coming months. Take the time to share your joys and anxieties, making them feel connected to your experience. Your adopted child will need the support of extended family to feel secure, so it’s important to encourage your family members to play an active role in the process.
Preparing for the Transition
You will likely need to make changes to your lifestyle and environment to prepare for your new child. Adopting a child can differ from giving birth to an infant, as many adopted children are older and may have different needs. If your child is of school age, you’ll need to determine which school is in your district, what you need for enrollment, and if the school offers any special programs to benefit your child. You may also have to consider logistical questions like: how will your child get to school, and what will happen if you’re unable to pick them up after school?
If you’re adopting a younger child, you’ll need to arrange care during the day. This could mean finding someone to stay home with them, or researching daycare options where your child will feel comfortable and well cared for.
These are just a few of the many considerations when preparing to care for your child. Your child will need health insurance, a pediatrician, a dentist, toys, and clothes. If your child is old enough to eat solid foods, you may need to adjust your diet to accommodate their tastes. Preparing meals for children can differ from preparing food for adults, so you may need to adjust your approach for a while. Initially, serving familiar foods your child enjoys can help make the transition smoother.
Make Your Child’s Room
Every child needs their own space. While it’s common for expecting parents to prepare a nursery for a newborn, your job as an adoptive parent is the same. This may be especially important if you plan to adopt a child older than one or two years old. Your child will have memories of their previous homes and may become homesick or traumatized by the transition. You must create a room that feels inviting, welcoming, and most importantly, safe. Soothing colors, soft stuffed animals, and cozy blankets are ideal for making the space feel secure. If your child is older, try to personalize the room to reflect their preferences, if you know them.
Adding small touches, like a sign with your child’s name on it, can also help them feel more at home. As you get to know your child’s tastes in toys, books, and games, try to collect these items gradually to make the space even more personal and welcoming.
Take Time for Yourself
Finally, remember to take time for yourself during this exciting but stressful period. Adoption is a joyful, yet emotionally challenging event. It’s normal to feel a whirlwind of emotions as you prepare for your child’s arrival. Consider joining adoptive parent support groups, and make time to engage in activities that help you relax, such as meditation, listening to music, drinking tea, or reading a book.
