High School: Preparing Your Child for the Next Big Step
If you’ve ever seen iconic movies such as Fast Times at Ridgemont High, 16 Candles, or The Breakfast Club, you’re probably aware that the high school years are often filled with stress for both parents and children. Most kids enter high school around the age of 14 or 15, which coincides with a period of immense emotional growth (and instability), as well as dramatic hormonal surges that can transform otherwise normal children into difficult-to-handle teen monsters.
Another reason that high school can be a challenging time is that life starts to move so quickly. Just yesterday, your child was in second grade, and now, with the end of contemporary education in sight, the future can feel like an overwhelming concept for both teens and parents. To add to the pressure, today’s high school counselors and career specialists often encourage students to choose career pathways as early as the end of 8th grade. The craziness associated with high schoolers can sometimes feel inevitable.
Many grown-ups don’t even know what they want to be when they grow up, yet 14-year-olds are supposed to make that decision?
Preparing Your Child for High School
As a parent, preparing your child for high school is an essential part of the process. Not only do your children need to be prepared, but you as a parent do as well. In a best-case scenario, preparation for high school starts long before your child steps foot on those polished floors. Lessons on being responsible, self-sufficient, respectful of self and others, and educationally challenged are things kids should learn throughout their schooling. Still, there are several things you can do to help ease the transition from middle school to high school and ensure that the shift is as smooth as possible.
One of the most important things for parents to remember is that their child—no matter how much they roll their eyes—is looking to them for positive reinforcement. This means you should set aside judgment and preconceived notions about high school. Instead of adding pressure, try to adopt a positive attitude about the experience. Be excited for your child and share some of your own positive high school memories. Your enthusiasm will make a difference in how they perceive this leap into adulthood.
To ensure your child feels confident, be sure to attend any available orientation days. Many high schools offer opportunities to visit during the summer, allowing students to familiarize themselves with their surroundings. Since high schools are typically larger and involve more schedule changes, making your child feel comfortable from the start can help ease their fears. Additionally, introduce yourself to your child’s guidance counselor and don’t hesitate to tour the school as a parent. When school administrators and teachers see a concerned and involved parent, your child will tend to be treated with more attention and equality.
Another way to prepare your child is by addressing their anxieties. It’s normal for your child to feel nervous about entering a new school with older kids. Much like you would feel starting a new job, your child will have their own concerns. While experiencing school will likely ease their jitters, it’s important to understand and acknowledge how your child is feeling.
Parents should also encourage their children to stay involved in school activities. Whether they’re interested in band or the school newspaper, high school offers more opportunities for students to explore their passions and make like-minded friends. Allowing your child to sign up for activities they enjoy will help them connect with others and settle in more easily.
While we try to teach our kids that appearances aren’t everything, we also know that they do matter, especially in high school. Take your child on a special shopping trip to find new clothes, and consider letting them pick something they feel will help them fit in with their peers. If a pair of $50 jeans or a new name-brand purse can help ease the transition, then it may be worth it—just this once.
Chances are you know some high school students in your neighborhood. Encourage your child to befriend these kids and get an insider’s perspective on what high school life is really like. Many students find that high school feels more liberating, as they are treated like adults and given more freedoms and responsibilities than they had in middle school.
When it comes to academics, parents need to stay on top of their child’s performance. High school teachers typically have different expectations, and many students are surprised by the lack of hand-holding. Teach your child how to communicate with their teachers and make sure you maintain open communication with high school staff members.
After the first week or two, your child will likely settle into the high school environment. Sure, they’ll be freshmen, but remember—these years can be a wonderful time of growth for both you and your child. Take things one day at a time, and remain optimistic!
