“It’s about time,” you think. “She’s waited this long. I don’t know how much longer she can wait.”
Pull up your socks, young man!
You’re right—her waiting any longer is a risky proposition. If you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, pop the question soon. Otherwise, she’s going to feel overwhelmed by unfulfilled expectations. After all, she’s an attractive woman, and you’ve noticed a few men staring at her. Be the gallant soldier she met at the start and prove your undying love by asking her to marry you.
Proposing isn’t the end of the world. It may signal the end of bachelor freedoms, but it’s certainly not the end of everything. Besides, you’re no longer looking like a bachelor on the prowl. In fact, the married look suits some men quite well! After six long years, you’re probably mentally prepared for “husbandhood”—and perhaps even fatherhood.
Ways of Proposing to Your Girlfriend
How you propose depends on how old-fashioned or modern you are. If you lean toward traditional methods, you might want to:
- Ask to meet her parents first and ask for their blessing;
- Invite her to dinner at a special restaurant (and please, don’t take her to a diner) and present her with the ring;
- Invite her to dinner at a special restaurant, pop the question, and explain that you’re still working on clearing up some credit card issues—so the ring will come next month;
- Rent a chalet up in the mountains, and as she’s preparing dinner, kneel before her and ask her to be your wife;
- Take her to an amusement park and propose when you’re at the highest point of the roller coaster. Of course, there’s a chance she won’t hear you amid all the screaming, so be prepared to ask again once you’re off the ride and your legs are about to give way.
If you want something different, that only a few brave souls might dare to do, consider these suggestions:
- Slip the diamond ring under her pillow when you wake up the next morning—or if it fits in her contraceptive pill case, try that. Just make sure she doesn’t take the morning-after pill while standing by the toilet;
- Take her to Hawaii, don on some scuba diving gear, and propose while surrounded by barracudas underwater (they’re harmless, in case you didn’t know);
- If she loves working out at the gym, place the ring in one of her sneakers—but make sure the box is well-protected with bubble wrap in case her foot accidentally crushes it (a real diamond should survive!);
- If she has a circle of trusted friends, get them together in a restaurant and ask them to say in unison, “Michael wants to know if you’ll marry him.” Then have them present the ring to her. (But, only use this idea if she’s not the private type and doesn’t consider proposals to be a very personal matter);
- Here’s a unique one: Go on your honeymoon before the wedding. Tell her you’re going on the honeymoon, and she’ll ask, “But you haven’t asked me to marry you yet!” You reply, “Is asking you that important?” She says, “Well… yes… I never presume anything.” Then you pull out the ring, slide it on her finger, and say, “Okay, I’m asking you now.” Watch the tears stream down her face.
When Proposing…
There’s something about refinement, proper etiquette—whatever you want to call it—when it comes to proposing to your girlfriend. The way you propose can impact her response, so just because you’ve been dating exclusively doesn’t automatically mean she’s ready to commit to a lifetime together. Women are emotional, sensitive creatures who want to feel truly loved and cherished. They don’t want to feel like they’re simply being “accommodated” because they presented an ultimatum. If she gives an ultimatum, it’s because she believes someone else might take her more seriously. Time is passing, and she wants to settle down and have children.
Here are a few pointers that might help:
- Don’t propose as if you’re giving in to pressure, just to avoid losing her;
- Don’t propose in ordinary circumstances simply to save money. Create a romantic atmosphere! The extra effort—such as a beautiful dinner, dancing, and a diamond engagement ring with a flush setting—will demonstrate your love;
- If you’re both young and come from similar socio-economic backgrounds, there’s probably no need for a pre-nuptial agreement. Unless you both have legal inclinations and want to avoid future bickering in case of a divorce;
- When her friends or your friends tease you about finally proposing, don’t shrug and say, “Goodness only knows what would have happened if I’d waited a day longer.” Don’t act like you’ve been forced into this;
- After she says “yes,” don’t take her for granted and start behaving like a jerk. A diamond ring doesn’t represent a closed transaction. She can always change her mind if she sees a side of you she doesn’t like.
Proposing to your girlfriend is a moment of joy—a moment of happiness that both of you hope will last an eternity. Make your proposal a symbolic representation of your love, not an economic or social negotiation.
It goes without saying that proposing is a serious commitment in itself. Nurture your relationship, and don’t stop showing your love—even in small, humble ways. People fall in love every day, but don’t treat love like another task on a to-do list that you check off once your proposal is accepted. Roll up your sleeves, express your love in as many ways as you can. Do it while she’s still young, attractive, and in full bloom, and continue to do so until she’s grown older, with gray hair and fading eyes, weakened by an illness that no one wants to talk about. Prove to her that she’s still the young rose you fell madly in love with.
