Double trouble. Twice as nice. Two times the charm. You get the picture, when you have twins; there is automatically some sort of lyrical duplicity that begins taking place. The dream of twins prior to actually having children is one that many people have. They assume that having two kids at once, and fulfilling the family dream of having a 2-child household with just one pregnancy will make life simpler and easier. And in many ways, this preconceived notion is correct. However, having twins isn’t quite as easy as it looks either. So this list, compiled by an author WITH twins, will help you to understand the pros and cons of having twins.
Pros to Having Twins
Let’s start with the good stuff. Twins are a bonus in many ways. Many of the bonuses to having twins aren’t what you’d automatically assume they are. Here we go.
- If you dream of two children, then twins means two kids with one pregnancy. Believe it or not, there are many men and women alike who don’t particularly enjoy pregnancy. Twins is the easiest way to get a two for one deal! This can be considered the ultimate pro to having twins.
- Everybody wants to help you. (this can be a con as well) Truth is, when you bring home two babies, you are pretty much assured that you won’t have to wash a dish or do any laundry for at least 7 weeks. You probably won’t have to worry about cooking a meal, or buying diapers either. People are very generous with mothers of twins, with both their time and their efforts to help.
- You won’t need to buy two of everything like you initially think. In fact, you can get through babyhood and the toddler years buying an array of single toys. If you had two kids, you would have to buy the toys and accessories over again.
- The children learn to deal with sibling rivalry right from the beginning, which means when they hit the teenager years, it isn’t so bad. They already resent the parents.
- They get to go to school together. Seriously, this is a big relief to a parent. Knowing that your child always has their brother or sister in close proximity makes it much, much easier to let them go to school (or anywhere else)
- You only have to go through the hideous phases of parenting once. Sure, they may be more difficult because you are dealing with colic, nighttime feedings etc. times two but at least you won’t have to go through them in yearly successions. Once teething is over, it’s OVER.
- Twin kids, same age. Really, this simplifies most everything in life.
- Twins use one another as playmates. They never rely or expect mom to sit on the floor and play blocks or Barbie’s or race cars for hours upon hours. In fact, they would rather play together, and you never have to worry about arranging play dates because twins have each other.
And of course, here are the cons to having twins!
- Expensive. it’s bad enough to have one baby, but having two kids at the same time means everything costs twice as much. Twins can be a huge blow to the pocket book. And once they get bigger, you have every expense in twos!
- Twins may have a built in play mate which makes things easier on mom. But since this ‘playmate’ doesn’t go home, parents have to put up with quite a bit of bickering and arguing. Which gets annoying to say the least.
- With twins, you are so busy taking care of them, that you don’t often sit back and relax and thoroughly enjoy the years. But, if you don’t have anymore kids, you cannot make up for your mistakes with your first children with the second. So, essentially the mistakes you make, or the moments you missed, or the things you missed out on are gone forever.
- People, many of whom are complete strangers will pay you TOO much attention. Which gets old. When all you want to do is grocery shop, and every person in the world is stopping to ask you questions, it is easy to feel annoyed.
- When one gets sick, so does the other. Which makes caring for your sick children even more difficult.
- You never get time alone with one child.
- Moms of twins feel a lot of guilt about everything.
- Never a second chance to make up for a parenting mistake. What’s done is done!
- The house empties all at once. When one goes to school, so does the other. (Sure this can be a pro as well as a con), buts it’s difficult nonetheless.
The important thing to realize is that no matter how badly you want to have twins; there is no surefire way to ensure that you have them! This is most often a fate left up to Mother Nature. Most people who have twins, find out they are pregnant with multiples and nearly fall down from the shock. Today, your chances of having twins without help from fertility procedures or medications are about 1 in 4. If you are older than 35 your chances are increased. But you should try to be careful what you wish for. While twins are fun and exciting, they are also difficult and stressful. There are pros and cons to every situation in life, even when it comes to having twins.