Bill and Eve have been married for 19 years. They were high school sweethearts and got married just a few short months after graduation. Today, with a family under a modest roof they perhaps both have lingering thoughts of what life would have been like had they waited a few more years? After all, neither developed any autonomy in the important areas of their life and although they don’t admit it; they wonder about what might have come their way or become possible had they followed a different path. Certainly there are pros and cons of marrying young. The truth is that there isn’t a decision made in life that doesn’t come with a gentle mix of positive and negative affluence. The trick is always trying to make the best of the decision once it is made and living a life with no regrets, remorse or resentment.
Some may say that Bill & Eve escaped a lot of random dating and meaningless heartbreaks or encounters with others by going ahead and getting married. Others might argue that is difficult to understand what they truly may have wanted in life unless they were able to actually go out and experience it. For Bill & Eve they see it both ways. For them the pros of marrying young have meant that they started their family earlier than most and will be free of traditional parental responsibilities while they are still fairly young. They look forward to that point in their life where they will be afforded the chance to travel together and realize all those passions they have set aside for now. They also feel that marrying young has given them the chance to ‘grow up’ and therefore closer to the person they are with. They seemingly know each other’s past and future and so far have not grown apart. Marrying young also put them on a direct path towards grown up responsibilities and they both found decent government jobs that will allow them to retire at 25 years; several years ahead of most people their age.
Bill and Eve also firmly believe that the marrying young eliminated a lot of the stress, pressure and emotional blocks that often develop after years of the search for ‘the one.’ Both feel secure in their relationship and realize at the forefront of their minds that each is the others ‘one and only.’
When you are speaking of the pros and cons of marrying young it is immediate to think about the con of settling down without really knowing what the world is about. For Bill & Eve this has been a truth. They have stayed in their home town, neither finished college and they moved straight from their parent’s house to their rented one bedroom apartment together. Had they obliged with their parents wishes both would have attended college out of state (different ones) and Bill would have become degreed in law enforcement while Eve wanted to be a teacher. Yes, they both think about their plans and feel somewhat stilted and resentful that they never accomplished their dreams. Often when people marry young they are not at a place in life where they know what they want or are aware of all the options that await them. But, as most of us know it doesn’t matter where you are at in your life; you always know more now than you did last year. Their longing for what could have been is not much different that anyone else’s.
Marrying young has stunted their financial growth and know how. They made a lot of mistakes as young people that have followed them into their future. Although they know better now; their mistakes are still with them.
Another con to marrying young is that somewhere inside of Bill and Eve they do have the innate curiosity about what another partner would have been or would be like. To date, neither has acted on that thought- but there is a lot of time left. Even as much as they love each other; human nature is explorative and one of the areas many people explore is through relationships.
From the outside looking in it is easy to identify with the mistakes that are perceived when people marry young. After all how do they know what kind of person they are most compatible with when they haven’t met that many yet? But the truth is that love is blind no matter how old you are. The only people that can set aside love long enough to be rational are two year olds and they forgive each other so fast that it always works out. Beyond that, there are pros and cons to marrying young, middle aged or old. Love has the absolutely adept power to hide many things from many people. Perhaps, it is better than way. If all was revealed during love it would stand to reason that few of us would ever get married. If getting married young indicates a heart that is giddy and irrational than getting married older says what about us. Perhaps people who marry young are the lucky ones; following their heart to the fullest and not listening to reason, advice or lessons holding only true to what they feel in their heart.
Statistics seem to indicate that one very important pro and con of marrying young is the success rate of marriage. Younger couples seem to not last quite as long as their settled, independent and autonomous counterparts. Although as time goes on; marriage as a whole is being painted into a bleak picture. Let’s just leave it with this; love is blind, ignorant, irrational and often crazy but whether you are young or old; it is so worth the experience. For those people in life that see only the road ahead and rarely look back to see what lurks in their rear view; marrying young can be the best thing they ever did. For people like that; love is a never ending adventure. For the others who will one day sit looking out a window pane, remorseful and sad about what they might have missed; marrying young is always a con! Regardless of your age; there are pros and cons to marriage that can always be evaluated, analyzed and criticized. The trick is ALWAYS deciding for your self what good you can take from the experiences you have while you are in the midst of them. If you do that during a marriage; you will usually succeed no matter what.