Pros and Cons of Public Proposals

Listen, a proposal should be memorable. And not memorable in the sense that ‘you and your lover were completely sauced at a bar and got locked up for indecent exposure and you proposed through the bars of your jail cell.’ Rather, memorable in the sense that it is something you want to remember, and will reinforce the reason you got married when you think of it some 20 years down the road.

Hopefully, a lot of thought goes into marriage proposals. There are complete websites that are dedicated ONLY to helping people find creative ways to propose marriage to their partner. You hear stories of people renting airplanes and flying over “Will you marry me Jane,” crop circles. Flash mob proposals. Essentially, the possibilities are endless. In your planning however, you should consider the pros and cons of public proposals!

Let’s start with the cons of a public proposal!

The obvious con to public marriage proposals is that it might not go as planned. Sure, you see marriage proposals on the big screen at the Lakers games or Braves games all the time – and you always see the people that say YES! But, on the funniest home video and blooper shows, you will see that there are some people that actually say, NO! And how embarrassing would that be, to be rejected in front of millions and millions of people? Before you propose on television or in front of the world, you might want to make pretty darn sure that your partner is on the same page as you when it comes to marital vows.

Additionally, proposing in public may initially cause someone to say yes, when they really don’t want to marry you. Because even though they do not want to ‘marry’ you – they still love you, and don’t want to humiliate you in front of the world. If you are thinking that a big public proposal will push your partner to the other side of the marital fence, then you couldn’t be more wrong. It may flat out make them resent you.

Another con to a public proposal is that unless you are a stickler for planning, the whole thing could go wrong. It’s hard to get the entire world around you to adjust for your proposal, and may be difficult to keep it a secret. It also can be an expensive start to the marriage. And if the proposal is completely over the top, you might find that the wedding and your life together afterward seem to be lacking fanfare.

Remember, the marriage proposal should be something that the two of you NEVER forget, but you certainly don’t want it to be a source of contention for the rest of your coupled life.

Certainly, there are cons to a public marriage proposal. One of the pros is that it will definitely be memorable. Women are mostly sappy creatures who absolutely adore the idea of a man putting thought and planning into something. For instance, its one thing to give your girlfriend flowers on her birthday. It’s something altogether different to have them delivered at her workplace. The latter shows thought and preparation and took more effort than just rushing into a grocery store and picking out flowers. From a woman’s point of view, the big, public proposal shows you care and shows just how very much you want to marry her. This gives you definite brownie points!

Additionally, a big public proposal is more likely to be preserved with cell phone video, pictures, or even news coverage. In 10 years when the two of you can barely stand the sight of one another, you may need this coverage to rekindle the fire between you.

A public proposal also helps you to avoid having to tell everyone in your life about it, because chances are they will be invited to the event. So, all you will have to do to let the news out is change your facebook status from in a relationship to engaged. How convenient is that, and imagine how much money you will save in postage!

The biggest thing to consider when planning a marriage proposal is your partner. Some people don’t like to be put on the spot, and prefer to navigate personal issues privately. If your partner is that way – then your effort to plan a memorable proposal may be better spent planning something simple and romantic. If your partner loves BIG things, and you can obtain the feat of keeping the element of surprise alive – a big public proposal may be a great route to take. Either way, the most important thing to remember is that you are creating a memory. Your marriage proposal is the first big step that the two of you will take together towards marital happiness. It should count! It should be memorable for ALL of the right things, and it should be completely about the TWO of you.



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