How long have you been waiting to take that fantasy vacation? What is on your “one day before I die” list that you are simply putting off? How many of these things would bring you true happiness, a feeling of success, accomplishment, and the satisfaction of living your life to the fullest? So why then do so many of us put off our wants and desires, hiding behind a life that involves years of waiting followed by regret for decisions not made and experiences not experienced?
According to Plato, “human behavior flows from three things… desire, emotion, and knowledge.” While many philosophers have tried to decipher his code of ethics when it comes to separating desire and reason, the bottom line still exists: If your heart, soul, spirit, and being crave something in your life, denying yourself will only leave you dissatisfied, constantly striving to fill the void with something else. Sadly, that something else will never satisfy. Great philosophers throughout antiquity have settled on the fact that the human stirring of desire should always be negotiated into your routine. For it is your desires and wants that will truly shape your life experience and ensure that you feel satisfied.
Translation: If you don’t do what you want to do, you will never be truly happy.
Finding Balance Between Desire and Responsibility
Of course, in today’s world of marriage, children, and responsible living, it often makes sense to put aside the things we want. You have to worry about finances and ensure that your desires are reasonable. If you want to sail around the world but have a family at home that needs you, chances are leaving them for 6-8 months may not be possible just for the sake of experiencing the wind in your sails. If you desire a new, fancy home or car, then you must first meet the monetary qualifications to do so. Perhaps this is where Plato’s aspect of ‘knowledge’ comes into play as it pertains to human behavior. However, it’s wise to sometimes consider that you may just know too much.
From a young age, it has been seen as a responsible trait to teach people to think about the future. Teenagers and young adults are encouraged to use their time wisely, to always think before they act, and to invest in tomorrow—both figuratively and literally. Then, when you become a spouse, parent, or finally land the ‘good job,’ you are often led by financial analysts, self-help gurus, and fragmented bits of advice that make you feel guilty if you ever choose to do something for yourself and follow your dreams. On the flip side, there are countless money-making schemes and cliché courses designed to help people follow their desires, rather than put them off. In fact, if you Googled ‘follow your dreams’ or ‘live your dream life,’ you’d be slapped with millions of philosophies, plans, techniques, and stories on how to do just that. It seems that, while we are all trying to be responsible beings living up to today’s social demands, we’re also secretly searching the internet for permission to follow our dreams. The bottom line? You have to give it to yourself.
Putting off wants and desires, while responsible at times, should be done in balance. If you have a vision or a dream—or, quite honestly, something you just want to try in life—you owe it to yourself to take steps toward making it happen. This isn’t to say you should quit your job, take a flight to Timbuktu, and tell the world to go to hell. Yet, you can take baby steps that keep your wants and desires in mind, facilitating forward progress rather than denying yourself.
For instance, if you want to take a vacation to a faraway land, start saving money. Set up an account and put a little extra in it each month. Start researching places to visit and take steps to prepare for your trip. Even if the trip is years away, making efforts to keep it in the forefront of your mind is important. If you dream of working from home and starting your own business, create a goal-setting chart that will responsibly lead you to that point. Even if it’s months or years before opening your doors, you will be proactive. And this means you won’t be ignoring your wants and desires.
When people think of wants, dreams, and desires left unfulfilled, they often do so in a whimsical tone reserved for children. “I want to be a rodeo star, I want to live in the Florida Keys with my toes in the ocean, or I want to be a millionaire.” The truth is that most people say things like this in jest, when their real wants and desires are both worthy and possible. So, putting off these wants and desires is silly. You don’t have to do them today, right now, in this very moment—but you can be working toward them. And if they are truly your personal wants and desires, you will find a way to make them come true.
It is easy to find an excuse to NOT do something. There will always be obstacles that feel like immovable mountains. Yet the reality is that the only thing standing between you and your desires is YOU. Putting off desires and wants will only guarantee one thing: You will never reach them. Instead, think in terms of baby steps and make sure that everything you do today keeps your innermost stirrings in mind.
