As I get older, I realize just how little I actually know. Of course, I haven’t always felt this way. When I was a kid, I definitely thought I knew it all. I refuted just about everything my parents told me about the world, even when I knew they were right and I was wrong. I can only imagine how obnoxious they must have thought I was! Not every kid is a know-it-all, though. Thankfully, some kids are more curious and eager to soak up whatever knowledge comes their way. Out of my three daughters, I have two of these curious types and one know-it-all. It’s been a challenge raising her, but I know one day she’ll look back, as I did, and realize she, too, knew very little as a child.
The Know-It-All Personality: Is it in the Genes?
So, what makes a person a know-it-all? It may be innate to his or her personality. Perhaps birth order plays a role? My know-it-all kid is my firstborn, though I was a know-it-all middle child, so that might not be it. Are there more know-it-all boys or know-it-all girls? My older brother, who was our family’s firstborn, was a more stubborn know-it-all than I was, which brings us back to the birth order theory. Maybe I became a know-it-all because he and I were competitive, and I felt like I had to “out-know” him. I wonder how many hours we wasted debating each other just so one of us could have the last word.
And what kind of student does a know-it-all make? If they erroneously think there’s nothing more to learn, they may not be open to acquiring further information. I do remember arguing with a teacher or two about what I thought I knew versus the actual facts. Looking back, I realize that I was never a teacher’s pet. It’s no wonder why! I always say that if I went back to school now, as a forty-year-old, I would do everything I could to absorb as much knowledge as possible. Oh, hindsight…
So, you may be wondering: what’s it like raising a Miss Little Know-It-All? Never boring, to say the least! My firstborn was a challenge from the very start. She never slept for more than two hours at a time during the first year of her life. It took me that long to figure out that she’s just a very nosy person who feels that sleep is a waste of time. She’s still nosy, but as a tween, she’s finally beginning to make friends with sleep. I actually find her quite delightful now as I watch her personality unfold before me, but I would never tell her that! She would add that admiration to her arsenal of know-it-allness and attack us with it whenever she saw fit.
Because my oldest child has the personality she does, she set the standard for what I thought was normal for all kids’ personalities. Therefore, I became an expert in dealing with her stubborn, wise-guy traits, though it didn’t come naturally to me. Since she’s practically a duplicate of who I was as a child, my instinct was to argue with her every time she refuted what I told her. Eventually, I learned not to engage in such behavior. Know-it-alls tend to block out what the other party is saying to them and only believe what they hear their own voice say, so debating with them is usually a pointless waste of time.
Paradoxically, my daughter has actually become more agreeable as she’s entered her tween years. All the gloom-and-doom warnings you hear from other parents about how difficult and annoying the tween years will be have not come to pass in our household. Yes, my daughter is still a know-it-all, but I’ve learned to deal with her. Sometimes, you just have to submit to this personality type and let them believe what they believe. I don’t do it often, but you have to pick your battles. That said, she’s not officially a teen yet, and her know-it-all tendencies might ramp up as she gets older. If they do, I’ll have to adapt my parenting style to this new development.
Despite the difficulties of raising Miss Little Know-It-All, there are definitely benefits to this personality style. My daughter has always been self-assured, bold, and confident. I’ve always secretly loved this about her. My friend once told me that the traits that annoy us about our kids are the ones we’ll admire in them when they’re adults. I definitely believe that to be true. I think these traits will make her a good leader and will serve her well when she’s finally out in the working world. That said, my younger non-know-it-all daughters are also full of moxie, so I think all my girls are pretty cool.
I often wonder what kind of husband my daughter will attract. In my situation, I dated a variety of personality types, but fell hard for my husband because he wouldn’t submit to my know-it-allness. Previous boyfriends let me walk all over them, and I found it terribly unattractive. My husband challenges me and doesn’t allow me to get my way at every turn. I adore this about him, and I hope my daughter finds someone who treats her the same way. I know her husband will never be bored with her, and he’ll learn a great deal from her encyclopedic mind and sassy attitude.
I can’t say many days aren’t challenging trying to raise a Miss Little Know-It-All, especially having been a former one myself. But I know that even though my daughter may not know everything, she definitely knows a lot—and has taught me a lot too. Being my firstborn, she taught me how to be a mom, and that’s certainly no small feat. No matter what type of personality our kids have, we can always try to glean how their traits will benefit them—and the world—once they’re fully grown. And I happen to know that for a fact.
