Children

Raising the Devils Spawn

There is a pity party going on for all those families raising girls. Dad gets apologetic grins and pats on the shoulder, wishes of good luck in the future and useless jokes about the state of his daughters and his health during the teen years. The funny thing is that even though its 2010; there is still this underlying air of expectation that every couple, and every dad, has to have at least one boy to call his own. Maybe it’s just a way of carrying on the family name or of having a ‘son’ to call their own. Sadly, those mothers often coveted by all girl families, get little to no sentimental pity even though they are living in house that is full of wild and crazy boys.

Visit any playground or schoolyard for that matter and it is easy to see the difference in boys and girls. The boys are the ones scrambling on the top of the monkey bars into unchartered territory to the dismay of their teachers. They are the ones throwing down little girls and stealing kisses when they come down the slides. Before a teacher or mom can catch them to scold, they disappear with the quickness of a bat chasing a mosquito but with much, more noise. Boys are also the ones that seem to act the most ADD during school, terribly bored with school time lessons and attempting to harness more energy than they can possibly expel during the day. They sit edgy and nervous on their seat, constantly getting up and fidgeting with pencil erasers ignoring the silent pleas of the teacher for them to sit still.

Raising boys, is very much like raising the devils spawn. They are more active, completely hyper, and obviously reckless in their behaviors. They can ravage a living room, playroom, or kitchen in a matter of minutes and much like little swine, are perfectly content amidst their chaos. In fact, they like it like that. Boys seem to have the engineering mind at a young age, placing and formulating blocks in the most perfect method so that the destruction is awesome and loud. And when boys go somewhere they are running just like Forrest Gump. Poor mom and dad keeping up with these crazy, busy, and boisterous creatures can definitely take its toll.

There are other aspects to raising boys that can make parenthood difficult to say the least. They tend to be harder to train at everything. You would think that since it’s so easy for them to pee in a potty, potty training would be a breeze but moms across the world are forced to put targets in the water just so the little guy will go. And since they can’t stand up to poop  many are perfectly content pooping and sitting in their soiled diapers. This is definitely not so for most girls. Watch any version of America’s funniest home videos and you see that little boys also have no problems falling asleep while on the toilet what is that about. I think most agree that falling asleep at the dinner table eating asparagus is in order but on the potty, really?

Aside from bathroom habits, which don’t change as they get older boys are definitely louder. Compare an all girl household to an all boy one and you will get greatly different volume readings. The girls may squeal’ but they don’t romp and pounce and like tigers. They don’t take couch cushions down and jump on them or take to climbing the cabinets. Most will only escape from a crib once, while boys will risk broken collarbones to get out of anything that requires commitment from the age of 2! Raising boys is much like herding cattle constantly. They always take on new directions and parents have to remain on their toes like cowboys shuffling them in the right direction and keeping them within their confines. Where little boys get the energy from is amazing, and most likely why they become so lazy around the age of 40 when most females are just getting started! They burned themselves out at a very young age.

Boys are hands on. They are feet in the mud and tough to the bone. They communicate with their friends and fathers by strong holding one another and hanging spit boogies inches from their face. While girls are definitely manipulating and mean, you rarely see them threatening each other with spit. Few care about clothes, most have holes in their jeans, and mama’s boys are easy to spot by the age of 5. Raising boys is like living in and running a three-ring circus where the only time things are calm is when they are sleeping. And then they are adorable, whether 3 or 13!

Perhaps the most difficult aspect of raising boys is when your boy doesn’t fit into the boy world. Today, men are able to do lots of things. They play the piano, flute, dance, and compose music, cook, and stay home with the kids. Unfortunately, age-old ideas of dad and his little baseball buddy son still penetrate the minds of most. For a boy interested in reading, the arts, or music his rode ahead can be tough. Raising boys that don’t fit into the perfect little box of manliness can prove a struggle for both parents. The bottom line is you have to love them how they come to you. Raising the devils spawn, crazy busy boys is still hands down easier than raising girls. According to surveys nationwide and beyond parents of both sexes admit that boys while rambunctious require much less emotional strain than raising girls. Maybe that too is because of boys.

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