The Naysayer: Identifying and Removing Negative People from Your Life
You know who they are. Each and every one of us has one in our life. They are that person who always seems to look at the cup of life as half-empty, warns you about the bad intentions of everyone around you, and can pick apart the good in an angel to reveal an awaiting devil. When you think of the principles of the Laws of Attraction, which have recently gained popularity and are a modern interpretation of ancient wisdom, it’s easy to realize that the power of positive thinking is nothing new. But if that’s the case, then why are there so many negative people walking this world as if a giant airplane is about to crash from the sky and land on their home? And more importantly, knowing that they are toxic to your well-being, what can you do to remove negative people from your life?
Identifying Negative People in Your Life
One of the hardest things about negative people is that you’ve likely become accustomed to them. Many find that the most negative people are those they are closely associated with or even related to. When it’s your mother, constantly nagging you and reminding you that life is ‘out to get you,’ how do you make her stop—or remove yourself from the situation? The bottom line is clear: if you hang around these people, who are often filled with grave unhappiness of their own, you’ll be dragged down into the mud right along with them.
The first line of defense when it comes to removing negative people from your life is to be able to spot them. Since you’re likely close to them, it’s important to figure out who the positive energy vampires are. The following traits, found in negative people, will help you identify who to avoid:
- The Gossiper: The first person to remove from your life is the one who has nothing nice to say about anybody. This person is unable to realize that people who disagree with them are not necessarily ‘bad’ or ‘wrong,’ but simply think differently. Because they know they are being negative, they gossip. If you love your gossiping negative friend and don’t want to part with them, put an end to the talking. Walk away when they start gossiping, or simply tell them that you will no longer listen to their toxic chatter.
- The Whiner: This person is perhaps the most obnoxious to be around. They are the victim of everything, always complaining. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing—they will always find something to whine about. If they won the lottery, they’d complain about having to drive 45 minutes to pick up their money. Either tell them you don’t want to listen to the whining, or walk away when they start.
- The Dumper: This friend always has the latest and greatest drama to offer. They call you with ‘terrible news,’ expecting you to act as the fixer to their problems. If you don’t fix them just right, they’ll blame you for their issues. This person is often hardest to ignore because friends and family typically want to help one another. But when the neediness becomes constant and co-dependent, it robs you of your positive energy. It’s hard enough dealing with your own day-to-day problems, and the Dumper probably doesn’t offer much in return.
- The Hysterical Friend/Family Member: This person is always in hysterics. You can recognize them by the way they answer the phone or speak to you or others. Their life is full of worry and negativity, so they react terribly to everything around them. Even if you don’t get involved in the hysteria, having to listen to their emotional imbalance can litter your mind and life with negative energy. They also likely need ALL the attention at any given moment.
- The Blamer: Anyone who gets involved in the blaming game is negative. If someone is constantly blaming others for their problems, chances are they’re also blaming you for something.
- The Narcissist: The self-absorbed friend whose ego seems bigger than the moon is also very negative to be around. You may not realize it at first, but people who can’t see beyond their own egos are often filled with doubt. They require the ability to put others down to keep their own ego inflated.
In order to get rid of these people, you need to want to be free from the negativity. The first thing you should do is give these people a chance to recognize their negative behaviors. Remember, you can’t change them, but you can point out that their negativity makes you feel bad and that you cannot be around it anymore. This is a way for you to exercise your right to happiness.
Then, commit to walking away and distancing yourself EVERY SINGLE TIME they engage in negativity. This isn’t about thinking you’re better or more ‘enlightened’ than they are—it’s about committing to your own happiness and life experience. Eventually, when they get accustomed to your avoidance, they’ll either stop the negativity (at least in your presence) or they’ll stop seeking your friendship. Most negative people seek out others who tolerate their negativity and act as a sponge to soak it up.
The bottom line is that you truly have a choice in what kind of behaviors you’ll tolerate and which you’ll spend your time dealing with. Your time and life are valuable, and spending it with negative people is not going to have a positive impact on you at all.
One Response
I live with negative people who financially support my child and myself. I will gladly leave but I don’t know where to go. I’m not afraid to start over in life but where to? I can’t be homeless with a baby… If I stay my child may turn out like my negative relatives…. I’ll stay positive and keep putting the good vibes out there.