The naysayer. You know who they are. Each and every one of us has him or her in our life. They are that person who always seems to look at the cup of life as half empty, who will warn you about the bad intentions of everyone around you and who can pick apart the good in an angel, to reveal an awaiting devil. When you think of the principles of the Laws of Attraction, which in recent years have become widely popular and a revisited form of ancient wisdom – it is easy to realize that the power of positive thinking is nothing new. But if that is the case, then why in the world are there so many negative people walking this world as if a giant airplane is about to crash from the sky and land on their home? And more importantly, knowing that they are toxic to your wellbeing – what can you do to remove negative people from your life?
One of the hardest things about the negative people in your life is that you have likely become accustomed to them. Many people find that the most negative people are people that they are closely associated or even related to. When it is your mother who is constantly nagging you and reminding you that life is ‘out to get you,’ how do you make her stop – or remove yourself from the situation. The bottom line is clear. If you hang around with these people, who are often filled with grave unhappiness of their own – you will be dragged down into the mud right along with them.
The first line of defense you have when it comes to removing negative people from your life is to be able to spot them. Since you are likely so close to them – it is important to figure out who the positive energy vampires in your life are. The following traits, found in negative people will help you to identify who they are. (So you know WHO to avoid)
- The gossiper.The first person you need to remove from you life is the person that has nothing nice to say about anybody. This person is unable to realize that people who disagree with them are not necessarily ‘bad,’ or ‘wrong,’ but simply tend to think differently. And since they want an audience and a fan club to agree with them, because they know they are being negative – they gossip. If you love your gossiping negative friend and don’t want to part with them, then you must be able to put an end to the talking. Either walk away when they start talking about people, or simply tell them that you will no longer be listening to the toxic chatter of gossip.
- The Whiner.Ugh, this person is perhaps the most obnoxious to be around. He or she is the victim of everything, the one who is always complaining. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing, but they are sure to find something to whine about. If they won the lottery, they would whine about having to drive 45 minutes to pick up their money. Either tell them you don’t want to listen to the whining – or walk away when they start whining.
- The Dumper. This friend always has some latest and greatest drama to offer you. He or she will call you with the ‘terrible news,’ and then always wants you to act as the fixer to their problems. If you don’t fix them just right – then you are also to blame for their problems. This person is often hardest to ignore because normally friends and family WANT to help one another. But when the needing is constant, and becomes a co-dependency of sorts, then you need to realize that they are in actuality robbing you of your positive energy. Its hard enough to deal with your own day to day problems, and the truth is the dumper is normally addicted to their own drama and probably doesn’t give you much in return for listening to theirs.
- The Hysterical Friend/Family Member. This person is always in hysterics. You can recognize him or her by the way they answer the phone, or the manner in which they talk to you or others. Your hysterical companion is full of worry and consumed with negativity which is why he or she reacts so terribly to everthing that goes on around them. Even if you don’t get involved in the hysterics, having to listen to the imbalance of emotion can litter your mind and your life with negative energy. They hysteric is also likely in need of ALL the attention that exists at any given moment.
- The Blamer. Anyone who gets involved in the blaming game is negative. If someone is constantly blaming other people in their life for problems they have, chances are they are blaming you for something as well.
- The narcissist. The self absorbed friend, who’s ego appears bigger than the moon is also very negative to be around. You may not realize it at first, but people who cannot see beyond their own egos are normally filled with doubt and require the ability to put others down in order to keep their own ego inflated.
In order to get rid of these people in your life you have to want to be free from the negativity. The first thing that you should do is give these people a chance to recognize their negative behaviors. Remember, you cannot change them. But pointing out to them that their negativity makes you feel bad, and that you cannot be around it anymore – is a good way for you to exercise your right to be happy. Then, you need to commit to the task of walking away and distancing yourself EACH AND EVERY time they are engaging in their negativity. This isn’t about thinking you are better or more ‘enlightened’ than they are – but about committing to your own happiness and life experience. Eventually, when they get accustomed to your avoidance of them, either they will discontinue the negativity (in your presence) or they will no longer seek your friendship. Most negative people seek out others that will tolerate the negativity and who will act as a sponge to soak it up.
The bottom line is that you truly do have a choice about what kind of behaviors you will tolerate and which you will spend your time dealing with. Your time, and your life are valuable and spending it with negative people is not going to have a positive impact on you at all.