You thought your child was a genius. After all, in preschool, kindergarten, and first grade, they were always at the top of their class, bringing home nothing less than an “S” for satisfactory or “O” for outstanding. Now, suddenly, you’re looking at a report card with a C, maybe even a D, or, lo and behold, an F in subjects like science, math, reading, or language arts. What do you do? Who do you turn to? How can you help your child? And, more importantly, should there be consequences? Are report cards truly an indicator of your child’s intelligence, or just a reflection of their current performance?
Understanding the Bigger Picture
Today, the educational system makes it easier than ever for parents to stay involved with their child’s grades and performance. More than 70% of schools now use online grading systems that allow parents to track everything from the time their child eats lunch to the grades they receive on homework assignments. With just a few clicks and a password, you can monitor your child’s academic progress and be informed long before a bad grade shows up on the report card. Additionally, parent-teacher conferences are required by law, and they offer a great opportunity for one-on-one communication with the teacher about your child’s strengths and weaknesses. If you haven’t gone to one yet, you should.
But remember, a report card is more than just a set of grades. If your child suddenly scores low in a subject that they typically excel in, your first step should be to talk to the teacher. Ask them what they think might be the issue—and then listen carefully. Many parents overestimate their child’s behavior or work ethic at school. You may be surprised to find that the poor grade is due to something as simple as poor behavior or a lack of effort. It could also be that your child is struggling socially, perhaps being influenced by other students in a negative way. Teachers spend a lot of time with your child and often see things that you may not. So, be open to their insights.
The next step is to discuss with the teacher any available resources for extra help, such as after-school tutoring. You should also ask for a list of any missed assignments and request to review any tests that your child didn’t perform well on. Once you have the facts, sit down with your child to discuss the issue. They may not admit that the class has become difficult for them, or they might feel that the teacher is unfair. Perhaps they are too busy with extracurricular activities to fit in their homework. At any rate, try to get to the bottom of the problem without being critical or blaming them. Remember, you want to build a relationship based on trust and find solutions together.
As your child enters middle school, you may notice that things get more challenging. The hand-holding between parents, teachers, and students starts to fade, and your child is expected to take more responsibility for their work. To help your child adjust, work with them on building better organizational skills, such as keeping a calendar and developing study habits. Be proactive—if your child says they don’t have homework or tests, don’t take their word for it. Check the school website or email the teacher for clarification. Ask more questions. Kids may not always offer information willingly, but when they see that you’re consistent in checking up on them, they’ll be more likely to open up. When your children realize that you are actively involved in their education, they’ll be more motivated to stay on track. Plus, proving to them that you’re willing to communicate with teachers or visit the school in person can help spark their own desire to succeed.
Look for Emotional or Social Issues
A drop in grades can sometimes be a sign of something deeper, like emotional stress, bullying, or social problems that you might not be aware of. Keep an eye on any changes in your child’s behavior at home. Has anything changed that could be affecting them emotionally? Even seemingly small issues can be big deals for kids. If you suspect that your child is struggling despite doing their best, consider seeking additional help, such as tutoring or counseling, to ensure they don’t fall behind. For younger children who begin to struggle, you might also want to look into the possibility of a learning disability.
Lastly, keep in mind that a report card doesn’t define your child’s intelligence. Some of the most brilliant people didn’t excel in school, not because they weren’t capable, but because they didn’t find the material engaging or challenging enough. Not every child is going to be a straight-A student. If your child brings home B’s or C’s, and you know they are working hard to achieve those grades, you should accept that as their personal best. Pushing them to outperform their abilities can do more harm than good. Remember, a child’s potential is not always reflected by grades alone, and it’s important to recognize the skills they do have—especially if they’re not learning in a way that fits within the traditional school system.
A bad report card is not the end of the world, just as a good report card doesn’t necessarily mean your child is a genius. There are all kinds of kids with all kinds of learning styles. Instead of pressuring your child, be a supportive partner who works with teachers to ensure your child gets the best education possible. Education is a partnership, and together, you can help your child succeed.
